19/11/2025
Because we didn’t understand the autonomic nervous system and the biology of the body, many people believe they’re lazy. In private practice, I can’t tell you how many people I worked with felt flawed or broken because they just couldn’t do simple things. And showering felt impossible. This is because their nervous system is dysregulated.
Sometimes the shame is made worse by family or partners who ask “why can’t you just do x” or
“you’re not even trying.”
When our nervous system is so overwhelmed and so pushed beyond our window of tolerance, many of us go into freeze. Freeze is the body’s protective state.
In freeze, our muscles title. Blood flow goes onto to our virtual organs. Heart rate slows. The body shuts down focusing only on survival.
Our thoughts mirror this nervous system state. We feel apathetic, hopeless, and exhausted from the toll this takes on the body. Our voice even changes (more monotone) and our eyes glaze over. This often looks like “dead eyes” — where we blink less and our eyes have little movement.
If you’re stuck in freeze, the first step is to understand your body is trying to protect you. A warm bath, a short walk, or placing pressure on your chest can help your nervous system regulate. Don’t overload yourself with a long to do list or let your thoughts spiral. Instead focus on ONE small task (brushing your teeth, washing a few dishes, sitting in the sun for 10 minutes) and say to yourself: “I’m proud of myself for every small step I take.”
Post credit from Dr Nicole Lepera page.
