Fc with estherusetim

Fc with estherusetim Relationship & Marriage Counselor, Public Speaker, life coach, wife of Apostle I.M Usetim, mother, mentor & OAP.

21/02/2026

Never stake your peace on a project you were never assigned to fix!

This is what many people learn the hard way.Dating or marrying someone with the hope that “I will change them later” is ...
21/02/2026

This is what many people learn the hard way.

Dating or marrying someone with the hope that “I will change them later” is one of the biggest risks you can take with your own peace.

Change is not as easy as we make it sound.

Think about it, how many habits have you been trying to break for years?
Anger.
Procrastination.
Overspending.
Insecurity.
Envy and lot more 🤷🏻‍♀️
If change were that simple, you would have fixed everything about yourself.

If it’s hard to change yourself, what makes you think it will be easy to change another adult?

You’re not dealing with a blank slate.
You’re dealing with a full-grown human being with beliefs, experiences, trauma, habits, pride, and patterns formed over many years.

People don’t change because you love them.
They don’t change because you beg.
They don’t change because you threaten to leave.

Real change happens when a person decides for themselves that they are tired of who they’ve been. Most times, it only happens when life pushes them to a breaking point.

Another truth this over time, people become better at what they practice.

If your partner practices discipline, they grow stronger.
If they practice kindness, they become gentler.
But if what they consistently practice is a vice…..lying, cheating, disrespect, irresponsibility and so on; they will only become more skilled at it.

Love alone cannot reform someone who is comfortable with their behavior.

You cannot build a future on potential.
You must decide based on patterns.

Don’t marry someone for who you hope they will become.
Marry them for who they are right now.

If they grow well, beautiful.
But never stake your peace on a project you were never assigned to fix.

If you have a different view, share your thoughts. Let’s talk about it in the comment section.

This is to your continuous growth and wellness ❤️


20/02/2026

My heart is hurting 💔
Ohh wicked generation of vipers 😭💔💔

Loving Your Children The Right Way…..In today’s world, we often hear about the importance of showing love to our childre...
20/02/2026

Loving Your Children The Right Way…..

In today’s world, we often hear about the importance of showing love to our children, but sometimes, we overlook one critical thing: how often we show that love, and the different ways we do it.

We need to hug them, kiss them on the forehead, and constantly remind them they are cherished not just with words but through actions. This goes beyond just providing for them or sending them off to school. It’s about connecting with them emotionally.

There’s a particular emphasis we need to place on our boy children. Too often, we assume they are tough or unaffected, but the truth is, the boy child can feel just as neglected and in need of emotional support as anyone else. Society often expects them to “man up,” to be strong and independent without realizing they also crave affection, attention, and validation from their parents.

When we don’t offer this at home, when we don’t show them that they are loved and valued, many of these boys resort to the streets to find the guidance they need. The streets offer them an education but not one that builds character or prepares them for a healthy future. Instead, it teaches them survival, often through unhealthy habits and behaviors.

This is where we, as parents need to step in. We need to create a safe, loving, and nurturing environment at home where our children feel supported, valued, and understood. Boys in particular, need to know they can be both strong and emotional, that their worth isn’t tied to how tough they appear or how much they can endure.

So, let’s make a conscious effort to hug them more. Tell them you love them. Show affection and physical tenderness. A kiss on the forehead can speak volumes. It’s a small gesture, but it carries deep meaning.
These moments of connection give them a sense of security and love that no outside influence can replace.

As we raise our children especially our sons, let’s remember affection is not a weakness, it’s strength and by offering it, we equip them with the emotional tools they need to navigate life in a healthy, balanced way.

As parent(s) we can do better in loving our children and ensuring their safety.

This is to your continuous growth and wellness!

Knock On Those Doors Again.No matter how many times they close. No matter how loud they slam in your face. No matter how...
20/02/2026

Knock On Those Doors Again.

No matter how many times they close.
No matter how loud they slam in your face.
No matter how many times it feels like you’re not getting anywhere.

Knock again.
Why? Because the door is not the source, God is.

Rejection is not a final judgment. It’s not a “no” to your future, it’s a redirection. It’s an opportunity for refinement. It’s preparing you for what’s ahead, even when it feels discouraging in the moment.

When you believe in yourself, you align with what God already says about you. You affirm your worth and purpose. And when you agree with Heaven, the earth begins to adjust. The universe begins to respond.

So, how do you carry yourself? With honor.
How do you speak about yourself? With dignity.
How do you see yourself? Through God’s eyes, not the world’s.

People treat you the way you treat yourself.
When you take yourself seriously, the world starts to take you seriously too. When you value yourself, things shift. Rooms that once seemed closed off suddenly seem to make space for you. When you walk into a room like you belong, doors will start recognizing you and opening up.

Do not shrink back.
Do not apologize for the dreams, the vision, the gifting and the calling God has placed on your life. Do not look down on what He is building inside of you. There is greatness in you and it will manifest in due season.
Keep pushing, keep showing up, keep knocking.

Soon, the right door will open and it won’t just open, it will welcome you in with open arms.

Let this be a reminder today….
Keep going, even when it feels hard.
Keep knocking.
Keep believing in yourself.
The right opportunities are on their way, and they will be more than worth the wait.

Love and light always 🥰


20/02/2026

Your willingness to keep fighting is the first victory…..

Good morning beautiful people. Enjoy your day and weekend ahead TGIF 💜

Apologizing When You’re Wrong. “Don’t Let Pride Cost You Genuine People”Here’s a hard truth you’ve refused to accept. Yo...
19/02/2026

Apologizing When You’re Wrong. “Don’t Let Pride Cost You Genuine People”

Here’s a hard truth you’ve refused to accept. You’re too young to be losing the people who genuinely care about you because of pride. It’s easy to get caught up in your pride/ego, to convince yourself that apologizing somehow weakens you, but in reality it’s strengthens you. It takes maturity to admit when you’re wrong and that’s the kind of growth that keeps meaningful relationships alive.

Too often, we fall into the trap of thinking everyone is replaceable but that’s a dangerous mindset. People who love and care for you are not just placeholders. They’re not interchangeable and if you keep pushing them away or holding on to your pride, you might end up regretting it when they’re no longer around.

The world today is filled with quotes that seem to justify bad behavior, lines that encourage putting up walls or defending your insecurities instead of confronting them. But here’s the thing…..using those quotes as armor only shields you from growth. It’s easy to find words that defend your bad habits or your hurt feelings, but growth doesn’t come from avoiding accountability. Real strength comes from vulnerability.

Apologizing isn’t about admitting weakness; it’s about showing strength. It’s about taking responsibility for your actions and making things right not just for the other person but for your own peace of mind too. If you care about someone, don’t let pride blind you from the importance of saying “I’m sorry.”

Stop searching for quotes that justify holding grudges, and start looking for the ones that reminds you of the value in humility.
You deserve to have authentic, genuine connections, and that only happens when you own your mistakes and make the effort to fix them.

So here’s a challenge for you: If you know you’ve wronged someone, reach out. Don’t let pride rob you of the opportunity to mend a relationship. You’re too young to be losing real connections over avoidable misunderstandings.

Let me know if you have ever struggled to apologize?
What do you think holds people back from saying sorry? Let’s talk about it in the comments! 👇



19/02/2026

Don't forget to disappoint an entitled person.
If you feel that you are entitled around me, I will surely disappoint you!!

You Can’t Build a Future Without AccountabilityLet’s be real for a moment, You cannot build a lasting future with someon...
19/02/2026

You Can’t Build a Future Without Accountability

Let’s be real for a moment, You cannot build a lasting future with someone who consistently shies away from accountability. It’s not bitterness speaking, it’s wisdom.

One of the most overlooked red flags in relationships isn’t anger, distance, or even constant disagreements. It’s the inability to take responsibility.

Accountability is the bedrock of emotional maturity. It’s the difference between someone who grows and someone who remains stuck in the same patterns, expecting you to tolerate them.

When a person avoids accountability, it starts showing in small, subtle ways. At first, it may seem insignificant, but over time, you’ll start noticing the following:
1. They rarely apologize sincerely. Instead of owning up to their actions, they explain, justify, and defend themselves.
2. They shift blame onto others. It’s always someone else’s fault. “My ex did this,” “My friends did that,” “you’re the problem here,” or even “You’re overreacting.”
3. They refuse correction. Any honest attempt at communication feels like an attack to them because accountability requires humility.
4. They repeat the same hurtful behaviors without change.

Without ownership, there is no progress only cycles. That’s a very hard truth to accept.
A relationship cannot thrive when there’s no responsibility.

You cannot build a future with someone who won’t admit when they’re wrong. You can’t establish peace with someone who avoids tough conversations. You can’t create trust with someone who refuses to be honest about their part in things.

A strong future requires teamwork. And teamwork requires maturity. Maturity requires accountability.

Love isn’t just about affection or chemistry, it’s about character. The right partner isn’t the one who never makes mistakes. The right partner is the one who can own up to their mistakes, learn from their mistakes, and grow with you.

The right partner is the one who says:
“I was wrong.”
“I understand how that hurt you.”
“I will do better.”
“I am sorry.”

If someone cannot take responsibility, they’re not ready to lead, love, or last.
Choose someone who values growth over ego.
Because without accountability, there’s no real future to build.

This is to your continuous growth and wellness!

19/02/2026

May God surprise you with answers and solutions you didn’t pray out loud for 🙏🏾

Good morning fam. Have a beautiful and blessed day ❤️

How Many Times Have You Blocked Your Partner Over a Misunderstanding?Let’s be honest, how many times have you found your...
18/02/2026

How Many Times Have You Blocked Your Partner Over a Misunderstanding?

Let’s be honest, how many times have you found yourself blocking and unblocking your partner because of a disagreement or a small misunderstanding?
We’ve all been there at some point, getting frustrated and feeling like blocking them is the easiest solution in the heat of the moment. But is blocking them, really the best way to handle things?

Before you hit that “block” button, take a deep breath and pause for a moment. Sometimes, emotions can get the best of us, and we might react out of frustration or hurt. But instead of blocking, consider leaving a “blue tick” which is basically a pause.
Don’t respond right away.
Give yourself the space to cool off and gather your thoughts.

When you’re calm enough, you’ll be in a better place to address the issue in a more constructive way. Blocking might feel like you’re taking control of the situation in the moment, but it could also create more distance and confusion in the long run.

Remember, A relationship is about communication, and blocking your partner often shuts down the opportunity to fix things. If you’re both willing to work through the disagreement, it’s better to keep the channels open and address the issue with a clear mind.

So next time you’re tempted to block your partner, ask yourself “Is this really the best way to solve the problem?”

Let’s talk about it in the comment section.
have you ever found yourself blocking and unblocking a partner?
How did it work out for you?
Share your thoughts!

This is to your continuous growth and wellness 🥰



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