06/08/2025
๐ A truth from my soul today...
Last night, I broke. ๐๐
๐ฃ๐ฟ๐ฒ-๐ด๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ณ... also known as anticipatory grief ๐ญ๐ฐ๏ธ
Itโs one of the most emotionally complex parts of the human experience.
Itโs when you grieve someone you still see every dayโฆ but feel yourself slowly losing. ๐ง๐ข
Tears streamed down my face ๐ญ as I whispered to the Universe,
โWhy? Why is this so hard? Iโm not coping. I donโt know what to do.โ ๐๐ฌ๐ซ
And in that stillness... when I felt like I couldnโt carry one more thing ๐ชจ
a voice came gently through the quiet.
Not loud. Not urgent.
Just a soft knowing:
โจ โ๐๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ฎ๐ถ๐๐ต.โ ๐
It was the same voice I heard years ago in hospital ๐ฅ๐
โJust breathe.โ ๐ฌ๏ธ๐
I know now that voice wasnโt coming from outside me.
It was my soul. ๐ธ๐ซ
Sitting beside my body. Holding me through the pain. ๐ค๐๏ธ
Keeping me tethered to this world when I wanted to leave. ๐๐
And last night, she was there again.
I felt her. ๐
I even felt a hand rest gently over mineโฆ ๐คฒ๐
No one was there, not physicallyโฆ but it was real.
It was ๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ๐.
It was ๐น๐ผ๐๐ฒ. ๐
๐๏ธ Sometimes, the one who holds youโฆ is you.
Your ๐ต๐ถ๐ด๐ต๐ฒ๐๐ ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ.
Your ๐๐ผ๐๐น.
Your ๐น๐ถ๐ด๐ต๐ - ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ป ๐ถ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ธ. ๐โจ
And I realise nowโฆ
Part of the reason I cried so deeply ๐ง
was the pre-grief. ๐๐
The grief that begins before a goodbye.
The ache that rises when you know someone you love is fadingโฆ ๐
but theyโre still here. ๐ฃโณ
Itโs the slow heartbreak of watching moments slip away.
Of knowing youโll one day miss what youโre barely holding onto now. ๐ญ๐ค
Itโs ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ป๐ณ๐๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด.
Itโs ๐๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฑ.
Itโs ๐ฒ๐
๐ต๐ฎ๐๐๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด. ๐๐ซ
And it makes your whole being ache... body, mind, soul. ๐ง ๐๐ฏ๏ธ
But Iโm learning something Iโve told others, and forgot to give myself:
โจ ๐๐๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฏ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐๐ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐๐ ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐ณ๐ฎ๐น๐น ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐. ๐๐
Somewhere ๐๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐
Somewhere ๐พ๐๐ถ๐ฒ๐ ๐พ
Somewhere where ๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ต๐ผ๐น๐ and breakdowns are not weakness...
They are ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐น๐ฒ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ. ๐ง๏ธ๐๏ธ
I donโt have to be light every day.
I can rest in the darkโฆ
and still be radiant. ๐โจ๐
๐ง๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐, ๐'๐บ ๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ถ๐ป ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐๏ธ
Wrapped in my Oodie ๐งธโ
Holding a coffee like itโs a prayer ๐๐ฉต
My heart aches ๐
But Iโm letting myself feel it.
And maybe thatโs what faith really isโฆ
๐ซ Trusting that even in the unraveling, Iโm being held. ๐ค๐๏ธ
If you're there too... tired, stretched, unraveling, I see you ๐๐
Youโre not alone ๐ค
Let this be your permission to:
๐ธ Soften
๐ง Cry
๐ซ Exhale
๐งโโ๏ธ Let go
๐ค And let your soul whisper what the world forgets to say:
โจ โYou're safe to fall apart here.โ โจ
From my soul to yours,
With L๐ve โจ
Jennifer Dawn Greenfield ๐ค๐๐