http://www.staghornsexology.com.au/

Staghorn Sexology, Blue Mountains, Blue Mountains National Park (2025)

12/12/2025

It’s S*x on and tonight we're whispering sweet nothings in your ear as we get down and dirty with our festive selves.

It’s that time of year when bells aren’t the only things getting jingled, so let’s talk dirty talk. Because nothing warms a cold winter night like a little vocal foreplay.

Dirty talk isn’t about being crude or raunchy (unless you want it to be). It’s about attunement, arousal cues, and erotic communication, i.e., the psychological equivalent of gently unwrapping a present, slowly enough to build anticipation.

Here’s your mini-guide to sleighing it:

🎁 Start Small
Dirty talk doesn’t have to be explicit. Begin with observations:
“You look incredible right now.”
“I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
Warm, genuine, low-pressure ... perfect for easing into it.

❄️ Use Sensory Cues
Talk about what you feel, see, want, or imagine.
The brain loves a vivid picture. It’s why “describe what you want to do to me” can be hotter than any movie.

🎅 Set the Tone (and Tempo)
Slow, breathy, teasing statements activate anticipation pathways in the brain.
Want it spicier? Add directive language.
Want it gentler? Whisper encouragements.
You’re creating erotic rhythm, not reading a script.

🛷 Listen to Their Response
Dirty talk works best as a feedback loop.
A gasp? A lean-in?
That’s your green light.
A grimace, silence, or freeze? Time to soften or shift. The goal is co-created pleasure, not performance.

🎄 Warm up those vocal chords with a lil' practice
If you feel awkward, you’re normal.
If you blush, you’re adorable.
If you stumble, you’re human.
Erotic communication is a skill that is learned, practiced, and refined. The more you try it, the smoother it becomes (and the wetter/harder/warmer it gets).

✨ Consent Makes It Hotter
A simple “Want to hear what I’ve been thinking about?” can set the stage beautifully and ethically.

So go on! Warm those vocal cords, find your festive filth, and sleigh their name all night long.

Up next Friday: candy cane curves

**sh *xtips *xpositive

10/12/2025

The latest in our Christmassy series is the holiday romcom that feels like it was written during a sugar crash: A Merry Little Ex-Mas (2025) starring the iconic , who honestly deserved hazard pay for surviving this script.

Written by (Who?) and directed by (who we assume is capable of better choices), this chaotic holiday tale follows recently "consciously uncoupled" exes Kate and Everett who get stuck in the same snowed in town Kate is/was/whoknows desperate to leave, with their new flings Chet and Tess . Kate and Everett embarrass each other, themselves, and us - the audience, as we watch their charades unfold and ponder, "Have I nothing better to do with my life on a Wednesday night than this?"

The film has all the bells and whistles of a christmas film: the quaint small town (full of busy bodies), gorgeous decorations and plenty of slapstick romcom nonsense, but it's missing any heart to fill our egg nog cups. The connection between Kate and Everett is as thrilling as one between two strangers sharing a phone charging point at an airport. Their children are impetuous until they 180 at the end. The only saving grace are the supporting acts - Jamil is flawless and lands her comedy perfectly, and Fode should just be shirtless at all times.

The film tries to sprinkle in themes of closure, communication, and figuring out what you actually want in relationships but it handles them with the subtlety of a drunk elf. It takes an interesting concept of friendship after divorce, spins it through a wash cycle and dumps it in the dryer without fabric softener or electricity.

of fame was in this movie too ... for ... no ... apparent ... reason.

🎬 1/5 (One star only because turning it off early gave us more time to wrap presents.)

08/12/2025

🎄 How to Ask for What You Want Without Blushing Like Rudolph 🔥

Communicating your desires shouldn’t feel like guiding Santa’s sleigh through a fog of embarrassment. Asking for what you want in bed is one of the strongest predictors of s*xual satisfaction yet many people freeze, fumble, or turn bright red the moment they try. The good news? Confidence in s*xual communication is a skill, not a personality trait.

Here’s how to build it:
🧠 1. Start With Curiosity
Instead of treating your desire like a high-stakes confession, try:
“I’ve been curious about…”
“Would you be open to…”
Curiosity invites collaboration rather than pressure.

💬 2. Use the Theory of ‘Low-Intensity Language’
Gentle phrasing helps keep the nervous system regulated, making it easier for both partners to stay present.
Try:
“I think I’d enjoy…”
“What if we tried…”
“I really liked when…”

❤️ 3. Anchor It in Pleasure, Not Problems
Shift from correction to invitation:
Instead of “We never do…”
Try “I’d love more of…”
Pleasure-based language builds trust rather than defensiveness.

📝 4. Practice Talking Outside the Bedroom
Walks or sitting on the couch make these conversations feel safer and less exposed.

🎁 5. Use the “One Step Braver” Rule
Don’t go from silence to a full erotic monologue.
Choose the smallest, honest step that still moves you forward.

🔔 6. And If You Hear “No” Here’s What to Do
Rejection stings because it activates the same neural pathways as physical pain.
But in s*xual communication, a partner’s “no” is not a verdict on your worth, desirability, or creativity.
A healthy “no” often means:
“I’m not in the headspace right now.”
“I don’t feel ready for that yet.”
“I need more safety or information first.”
Try responding with:
“Thank you for telling me. Can you help me understand what feels comfortable for you?”
This keeps connection intact and models emotional maturity.

🌡️ 7. Arousal Loves Clarity
When communication is open, bodies relax.
When bodies relax, pleasure expands.
When pleasure expands, connection deepens.

Asking for what you want isn’t embarrassing, it’s a gift. And if your cheeks still get a little rosy? Well, tis the season.

*xology

05/12/2025

It’s S*x on and tonight we're taking it slow!

It’s the season of waiting... for presents, for knock-offs, for the end-of-year meltdown you swear won’t happen this time.

So let’s talk about the s*xiest Christmas skill of all:
✨ Teasing.
A.k.a. the art of building pleasure through delicious, intentional delay.

Because your body LOVES anticipation.
In fact, slow build-ups increase dopamine, heighten arousal, and make or***ms feel richer and more embodied.

Here are some therapist-approved ways to add festive tease to your December:

🎁 1. Unwrap Slowly
Clothes come off like Christmas paper ... deliberately. One piece at a time. No rush. No ripping ... unless you’re into that.

🌟 2. Edging With a Bow On It
Take yourself or your partner close… then pause.
Watch what it does to your breathing, your hips, your hunger.

🍷 3. Whisper, Don’t Announce
S*xy talk in small doses. A sentence here, a promise there. A “later…” said with a grin.

🧊 4. Touch Like You’re Hovering Over a Present You’re Not Allowed to Open Yet
Barely-there fingertips. Exhale on skin. Dragging nails lightly.
Not contact, almost contact. Dance!

🔥 5. The Naughty List
Write down 3 things you want to do (or have done to you) before the year ends.
Swap lists. Don’t say which one you’ll do first.

🎄 6. Holiday Rule: No Rushing Pleasure
If you’ve been in survival mode all year, slow is not boring.
Slow is medicine.

Because teasing isn’t just foreplay:
It’s communication.
It’s nervous system regulation.
It’s desire without pressure.
It’s connection you can savour.

So go ahead.
Be the gift that takes a little time to unwrap.
You’re worth the anticipation.

Up next Friday: Sleigh my name, Sleigh my name!

**sh *xology *xmas

03/12/2025

First up in our Christmassy series is an absolute classic of meets in , and friends, this one is chef’s kiss holiday cinema at its messy, heartfelt best.

Directed by , The Family Stone follows Meredith Morton , a tightly-wound, hyper-corporate overachiever, who heads home with boyfriend Everett to meet his loud, liberal, aggressively affectionate family for Christmas. Waiting for her is matriarch Sybil Stone , who weaponises warmth and judgement in equal measure, and the rest of the dysfunctional Stone clan who instantly decide Meredith is… not it.

And honestly? Watching Meredith attempt to assimilate is like watching a cat try to make friends with a pack of golden retrievers: fascinating, uncomfortable, and occasionally adorable.

This film is jam-packed, but in the good way. There’s the passive-aggressive dinner scene, a wildly unhinged moment involving spilled breakfast, Everett’s spiralling identity crisis, and a sibling love...square. You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, you’ll wish Diane Keaton was throwing a fork at YOU!

But here’s the thing: the characters are actually just deeply human. Sybil’s sharpness hides a tenderness that Diane Keaton plays with devastating nuance. Ben radiates chaotic-good energy and delivers half the film’s soul. Thad and Patrick bring warmth, depth, and representation without tokenism. Even Meredith, bless her rigid little heart, opens up in a way that feels earned rather than forced.

The chemistry? On point.
The emotional beats? Surprisingly affecting.
The script? Far more thoughtful than the average holiday hijinx flick.

And unlike many Christmas films, the chaos feels purposeful, not distracting. Every moment lands, every character matters, and Diane Keaton, as always, is perfection wrapped in a chunky knit turtleneck, may she RIP.

A heartfelt, funny, beautifully performed festive staple.

🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬 / 5

01/12/2025

A new month means a new theme at Staghorn S*xology and because it’s December… you know the drill. Deck the halls, dim the lights, and cue Mariah on repeat ... or Kylie's rehashed Xmas album.

This year, we’re bringing extra sparkle (and a little spice) to your festive season with a seggsy, cheeky deep-dive into all things holly, jolly, and human.

Throughout December we’ll be exploring:

✨ ###mas toys, stocking stuffers & festive pleasure hacks
✨ Stress, overload & why your libido sometimes ghosts you
✨ The rise of the modern advent calendar (yes, that kind too)
✨ Sleigh the small talk, couch time hacks for Xmas Eve

Plus: Christmas movie reviews from , silly-season S*x on Friday posts, and plenty of titillation to keep your nights anything but silent.

Get ready to jingle-bell-rock your way through the end of 2025 as we slide (festively) into 2026.

*xology

28/11/2025

It’s S*x on and tonight we're comparing!

Let’s talk about the elephant (or should we say, the ego) in the room.

P***s size anxiety is one of the most common issues men bring to s*x therapy.
And it’s not because something’s wrong with their body, it’s because of what they’ve been taught to believe.

From locker rooms to p**n screens, men are quietly trained to measure their worth ... literally. The message is simple but toxic: bigger = better = more manly = more desirable.
But here’s the reality: research shows the average erect p***s is around 13–14 cm (that’s 5–5.5 inches), and partner satisfaction has almost nothing to do with size ... it’s about confidence, connection, and creativity.

🧠 So where does the anxiety come from?

Comparison culture: p**n, social media, and even dating apps fuel unrealistic norms.

The body as performance: masculinity becomes a competition instead of a feeling.

Shame and silence: few men talk openly about their fears, so myths thrive in isolation.

💬 As a s*x therapist, I can tell you: p***s anxiety rarely improves with reassurance alone. It shifts when men start to see themselves as whole s*xual beings, not body parts on display.

Pleasure doesn’t depend on cm's! It depends on presence, curiosity, and attunement.
Most partners care far more about how safe, attentive, and confident you make them feel rather than what you’re packing.

🌱 Try this reframe:
Stop asking “Am I big enough?” and start asking “Am I connected enough?”

You don’t need to measure up, you need to show up.

Up next Friday: tis the season for teasin

**sh *xology *xualHealth ***sSizeMyth *xTherapy

26/11/2025

💪 Body Image and Men

Muscles, hairlines, and “size” myths ... oh my!

When we talk about body image, most people picture women (remember 90s he**in chic? 🤢) but men are quietly fighting their own battles in the mirror.

From gym culture to dating apps, men face a constant stream of messages about what a “real man” should look like: ripped abs, full hair, big… everything.

But here’s the thing, body image distress among men is rising fast.
Research shows more men than ever are struggling with appearance anxiety, muscle dysmorphia, and shame around body changes with age.

🧠 It’s less about vanity and more about vulnerability

The “ideal” male body has shifted from lean to hyper-muscular.

Hair loss, weight gain, and ageing are often tied to masculinity and status.

Social media and p**n can set unrealistic expectations around p***s size, endurance, and aesthetics.

Many men internalise these pressures in silence through overtraining, avoidance of intimacy, and self-criticism.

🌱 So what helps?

Reconnect with your body for what it does, not how it looks.

Talk about it with mates, a therapist, or a partner. You’re not the only one thinking about it.

Curate your feed! Follow men who show range, softness, imperfection, and authenticity.

Remember: desire is diverse. Most partners care more about presence, confidence, and connection than perfection.

💬 As a s*x therapist, I see this all the time: men who feel disconnected from their bodies struggle to connect with others.
Body image isn’t just about attraction it’s about belonging to yourself and owning it.

Your worth isn’t measured in inches, abs, or follicles ... it’s measured in how you show up.

*xology

24/11/2025

🔥 P**n as a Coping Strategy: When Arousal Becomes Avoidance

P**n isn’t the villain. It can be erotic, creative, educational, and a safe outlet for exploring desire. But for some men, p**n becomes less about pleasure and more about numbing out.

When stress, loneliness, boredom, or emotional pain hit, it’s easy to reach for a quick dopamine fix. P**n delivers that rush fast: predictable, private, and soothing in the moment. But when arousal starts replacing emotional regulation, that’s when things can quietly tip from curiosity into coping.

🧠 What’s really going on:
P**n use can mimic emotional avoidance. Instead of feeling sadness, frustration, or anxiety, the body learns: “I’ll just get off instead.”
Over time the brain links relief to arousal vs more appropriate emotional processing.

⚠️ You might notice:
-Using p**n when feeling stressed, angry, lonely, or rejected
-Feeling “numb” or flat afterwards rather than relaxed
-Escalating to more extreme content or longer sessions to get the same effect
-Avoiding real intimacy, vulnerability, or discomfort
-Guilt, shame, or secrecy about your use
-Difficulty getting aroused with a partner without p**n fantasy cues

💬 What can you do?
The question isn’t “Is p**n bad?” It’s “What am I using it for?”

Healthy s*xual expression is flexible, integrated, and emotionally connected. When arousal becomes the only way to self-soothe, it’s worth unpacking the feelings underneath: not to punish yourself but to understand what’s driving the habit.

🌱 Try this reflection:
Next time you feel the urge to watch p**n, pause for 10 seconds and ask:
"What is the purpose?"
“What emotion am I trying to avoid right now?”

There’s no shame in using pleasure for comfort but your body deserves more than just relief. It deserves connection, presence, and choice.

If you’re finding that p**n feels more like a coping mechanism than an erotic one, working with a s*x therapist can help you reconnect with why you seek pleasure and how to do it in ways that actually meet your needs.

*xTherapy **nUse *xology

21/11/2025

📞 Our Phone Line Is Currently Down

Hey folks! Just a quick update to let you know our clinic phone line is temporarily out of service ... that'll teach us for trying to upgrade our internet! We’re working with our provider to get it resolved ASAP.

If you need to reach us in the meantime, please contact us via email: info@staghorns*xology and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.

Thanks for your patience 💛
— Staghorn S*xology

21/11/2025

It’s S*x on and tonight we're pumped to talk about pumping it up ... but not too much!

P***s pumps: part medical device, part curiosity sitting quietly in your online shopping cart. Let’s clear a few things up... without overinflating anything. 😉

🩸 What They Actually Do
P***s pumps (or vacuum er****on devices, aka VEDs) work by creating a gentle vacuum around the p***s, drawing blood into the erectile tissue (the corpora cavernosa) and helping you achieve an er****on.
They’re sometimes recommended for men experiencing erectile difficulties, especially those with conditions like diabetes, prostate surgery recovery, or circulatory issues.

Used correctly, pumps can:
✅ Help with er****on quality
✅ Support pe**le rehabilitation after surgery
✅ Enhance blood flow and oxygenation
✅ Be incorporated into mindful self-pleasure routines

🚫 What They Don’t Do
They won’t permanently increase size. The temporary swelling you might see after use is just that, temporary. Overuse or excessive suction can cause bruising, broken capillaries, and even vascular damage.

Think of it like exercise: you want stimulation, not strain.

⚙️ How to Pump Responsibly
✔️ Use a good quality device (avoid the $20 mystery pump from an unknown seller).
✔️ Always use plenty of water-based l**e. Suction without lubrication is a recipe for friction burns.
✔️ Start slow. You’re creating a vacuum, not inflating a tyre.
✔️ Limit use to 5–10 minutes per session.
✔️ Stop immediately if you feel pain, pinching, or numbness.

🧘 The Mindful Pump
You don’t have to use a pump just for performance, it can be part of body awareness practice. Notice how your body responds, how blood flow feels, how sensation changes. But don't overdo it.

Your p***s is not a balloon. Treat it with curiosity and care, it's not an inflatable. Always seek medical advice before use.

Up next Friday: What ya packin'?

**sh ***sPump *xualHealth *xPositive *xuality *xTherapist *xualWellness *xology

19/11/2025

💥 Testosterone: The Unsung Hero (and Occasional Trouble-Maker)

Testosterone often gets the reputation of being the “man hormone”: all muscles, s*x drive, and swagger. But the truth is far more nuanced.

Yes, testosterone plays a big role in libido, energy, mood, muscle mass, and s*xual function, but it’s also involved in things like bone density, red blood cell production, and even emotional regulation. It’s usually less about being “high” or “low” and more about being in balance.

🧠 When testosterone’s doing its thing:
You might notice motivation, focus, confidence, and a steady s*x drive.
It supports stamina in and out of the bedroom but also helps men recover, sleep better, and regulate mood.

⚖️ When levels dip (or fluctuate):
Men can experience fatigue, low mood, irritability, decreased libido, softer er****ons, or loss of muscle mass.
Sometimes this happens with age (especially after 40), but lifestyle, stress, sleep, and medications can all play a part too.

💬 And here’s the kicker:
Not every low mood or libido issue is about testosterone.
Many men chase “T fixes”, i.e. supplements, injections, or shortcuts ... when the real issue is burnout, disconnection, poor sleep, or relationship stress.
Hormones are sometimes part of the story, but they’re not the whole book.

🌱 What to do:
- If concerned, ask your GP to check your levels (including free and total testosterone) in the morning.
-Move your body regularly and eat enough protein and healthy fats.
-Prioritise rest: testosterone production peaks during sleep.
-Manage stress: cortisol and testosterone are constantly negotiating with each other.
-Talk to a professional before trying any “T boosters" as these can have side effects and impact natural production

Our wellbeing is usually tied to more than just our hormone levels. It's ok to look at the ingredients but don't lose sight of the bigger picture.

*xualHealth *xTherapy

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