18/11/2025
Did you know the skills we often expect children to “just have” - emotional regulation, patience, impulse control, flexible thinking - rely on a part of the brain that isn’t fully developed until our mid-20s?
It’s so easy for expectations to quietly creep higher than children can reasonably meet.
Not because anyone intends to push too hard, but because we forget these often seemingly capable little people are still learning to regulate, to follow steps, to manage nerves, to cope with change, and to try new things with confidence. And honestly, many of us adults are still learning these skills too.
When expectations sit even slightly above a child’s developmental stage, we often see frustration, overwhelm, or “disengaged” behaviour, which is usually just a child doing their best with a task that’s too big.
A gentle reminder for all of us, teachers, parents, caregivers:
Developmentally appropriate expectations aren’t lowering the bar. They are however honouring where a child truly is.
When we get the fit right, children feel safer, more capable, and far more willing to take risks and enjoy the experience. And that’s where the real learning lives.
