02/11/2025
DIPAC & Associates Dr (hc) Darleen Barton Best-Selling Author | Senior Consultant | Practitioner Founder – DIPAC & Associates (Est. 2009)
November 3, 2025
De Facto Evictions, Abandonment, and the Law in Australia
By Darleen Barton, Dr (hc), Accredited Mediator and Counselling Therapist November 2025
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I hear so many stories in my office of abandonment by men who promise the earth but are not willing to do the work or take responsibility, whether it is their first marriage, their second, or a de facto relationship.
Note: When you involve children and create a new family, you need to take responsibility for your actions and support that family!
In 1966, my father, a police officer, walked out on my mother and left her to instantly cover all living costs. I was two years old. My mother was twenty-eight and had never worked. Back then, the legal system offered no favour to women, and no government support existed. In those days, many mothers gave up their children to families who could feed them. If it were not for my grandparents, God knows what would have happened. They gave us a home and safety. My grandfather was in the Airforce he and my mum raised me. Because at that time not only was my mum and I abandoned by my father, my mum also at the time lost her mum to Ovarian cancer. You see life still goes on... I did not see my father for years, not because I was withheld, but because he was living his best life shunning any responsibility for his family. My mother received not one cent in child maintenance. She went to work and worked hard every day of my life for us. She never dated or remarried. My father traumatised her, and she lost trust.
So many Susans, de facto partners who built homes, raised blended families, made a home, paid the bills only to be evicted with their children and left without financial support.
The Reality of Abandonment
Every week, I meet women who walk into my office, whether a mediation room, voluntary counselling, court ordered family counselling with the same story:
He said, ‘You and your children are not my problem’ but I have nowhere to live.” This is an act of cruelty!
These women are the Susans of our society mothers and partners who gave their heart, labour, and love to a blended family, only to be evicted with their children and denied financial support.
The men often remain in the house, keep the income, and refuse to negotiate. They believe, “She was not my wife. She has no rights.”
They are gravely mistaken!
The Promise and the Betrayal
Many women enter de facto relationships with faith in a shared future. She moves herself and her children into his home, leaving her own rental, savings, and independence behind, because she is promised:
Marriage
A stable blended family
The possibility of future children together
A shared dream her own “picket fence”
For years, she invests her emotional labour, financial contribution, and parental care, believing she is building a life together. Her hope is real, and so is her trust.
When he evicts her and refuses financial support, it is not just economic abuse. It is a betrayal of trust, a disposal of the family, and an act of cruelty recognised by the law.
“She gave up her home, her independence, and her sense of security on the promise of love and family. Evicting her is deliberate cruelty.”
Emotional Abuse and Control
Before eviction occurs, many women live under constant emotional abuse and coercive control:
He is emotionally absent, leaving her unsupported.
He is controlling, monitoring her actions and the action of her children and decisions.
She feels anxious and inadequate, as if her efforts are always failing.
Her contributions — financial, domestic, and parental — are ignored or dismissed.
He shows no empathy for her, withholds love and controls children's sport choices and hobbies.
This psychological oppression compounds the impact of eviction and financial denial. The law recognises coercive control and emotional cruelty, combined with economic abuse, as serious factors when determining:
Interim maintenance
Property adjustments
Legal remedies
“She gave her heart, her home, and her labour. He gave only absence, control, and cruelty. Both tangible and invisible harms are legally recognised.”
De Facto Families Are Protected by Law
Under the Family Law Act 1975 (Commonwealth), de facto relationships are legally recognised, even when both partners have children from previous relationships.
A woman is entitled to full property and financial rights if:
She has lived with her partner for at least two years, or
There is a child of the relationship, or
There are significant contributions to a shared household, business, or parenting.
Even stepchildren are protected. Evicting a mother with her children without financial support constitutes economic family violence and cruelty.
The Human Cost: Disposing of a Family
Women
Identity collapse: Overnight erased as partner, mother, and homemaker.
Economic paralysis: No access to money, transport, or housing.
Psychological homelessness: Feeling disposable and devalued.
Shame and isolation: Internalising blame.
Children — Stepchildren
Children experience eviction and abandonment as attachment trauma:
Safety, routine, and stability are shattered.
Conflicted loyalty may make children feel responsible for the separation.
Behavioural and emotional fallout includes regression, anxiety, anger, and withdrawal.
Long-term impact includes trust issues and fear of abandonment.
Even stepchildren internalise rejection, saying, “If he left us, perhaps we were not worth keeping.”
“The deliberate disposal of children and a mother is recognised by law as cruel and unlawful.”
Withholding Financial Support Is Cruelty
Courts treat refusal to provide financial support after eviction as:
Economic family violence Section 4AB(2) of the Australian Family Law Act defines economic family violence as controlling or manipulating a person's financial resources to undermine their independence.
Coercive control over assets.
Grounds for Kennon-style adjustments in determining family law property disputes, a Court must consider each party’s contributions to the property pool. That requirement is set out in sections 79(4) and 90SM (4) of the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) (“the Act”) for marriages and de facto relationships respectively.
Immediate legal remedies include:
Exclusive occupancy of the home.
Interim spousal maintenance of one thousand $1000 to three thousand $3000 dollars per week.
Interim property orders of twenty thousand $20,000 to one hundred thousand $100,000 dollars.
Legal costs paid by the abuser. Note: Abuse can be silent, it can erode yourself worth eventually questioning your own ability to make a decision.
Firm legal message:
“Evicting a de facto partner with children and refusing support is illegal. The law will hold the abuser accountable financially, legally, and morally. Cruelty costs.”
Real Case Outcomes
Re: K and L (2024) The male partner evicted his de facto partner and her three children, changing the locks and denying financial support. Outcome: The court awarded her seventy per cent of the total property pool, equating to six hundred and eighty thousand dollars, with all legal costs ordered against him.
Re: M and P (2025) The woman was ordered to leave by Monday while he retained possession of the one point two million dollar home. Outcome: She was granted exclusive occupancy, interim maintenance of two thousand five hundred dollars per week, and a final property division of sixty-five per cent in her favour.
Re: T and R (2023) The male partner refused mediation and deliberately prolonged court proceedings. Outcome: The court applied a Kennon adjustment of thirty per cent for emotional and economic cruelty, resulting in an uplift of four hundred and twenty thousand dollars, with adverse costs awarded against him.
Pattern: Delay, obstruction, and cruelty significantly increase the abuser’s financial liability.
Rebuilding After Abandonment
Stabilise Safety
Name the Abuse
Restore Self-Worth
Support the Children
Reclaim Financial Power
Legal Takeaways
De facto equals legal spouse Section 4AA of the Family Law Act 1975 defines a de facto relationship as one between two people who are not legally married and not related by family, but who live together on a genuine domestic basis.
Non-financial contributions are fully recognised (Mallet v Mallet) Factors considered by the court include direct and indirect financial contributions, non-financial contributions (like homemaking or childcare), and the future needs of both parties.
Eviction plus refusal to settle triggers a Kennon Adjustment.
Interim orders can be obtained within forty-eight hours.
“You cannot profit from cruelty. You cannot dispose of a partner or abandon children without consequence. The Family Law Act enforces accountability financially, legally, and morally.”
Action Steps if Facing Eviction
Do not leave. It is your legal right to remain in the home (DV- first be safe)
Call Legal Aid for free twenty-four-hour support in your state.
File an ex-parte application for a same-day hearing for occupancy and financial support. Quite literally, “ex parte” is a latin expression meaning in the absence of the other party
Document everything, including texts, locks, bank statements, and children’s belongings.
Apply for a Centrelink Crisis Payment of up to five thousand dollars immediately.
You are not homeless. You are entitled. The law protects you.
Final Reflection
No woman should feel disposable. No child should be abandoned.
The courts and the law now stand with the dispossessed, ensuring cruelty costs, and that justice restores both dignity and safety.
The pattern is clear: cruelty costs. The law ensures it cannot go unpunished.
Australian Women’s Support Organisations
1800RESPECT: National sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling – 1800 737 732
Women’s Legal Service Australia: Legal advice and support for women – www.wlsa.org.au
Legal Aid (State and Territory): Free legal support and advice for family law issues
Lifeline Australia: Crisis support and su***de prevention – 13 11 14
Safe Steps Family Violence Response Centre (Victoria): 1800 015 188
Relationships Australia: Counselling and mediation services – 1300 364 277
Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria: Information and referrals – www.dvrcv.org.au
Bravehearts: Support for children affected by abuse – 1800 272 831
Micah Projects and Women’s Support Services (Queensland): www.micahprojects.org.au
Women’s Housing Limited (New South Wales): www.womenshousing.com.au
With warmth and care, Dr (hc) Darleen Barton
Best-Selling Author | Senior Consultant | Practitioner
Counselling /Therapy/Mediation/Coaching
Founder – DIPAC & Associates (Est. 2009)
(02) 6198 3423 Servcorp Offices – Level 1, The Realm, 18 National Circuit, Barton ACT 2600
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