Anchoring Your Life Counselling

28/11/2025

Ever feel like you’re carrying the weight of the household - and your partner doesn’t even notice? 😔 That invisible “mental load” can quietly create stress, resentment, and disconnection in relationships.

In my latest blog, I break down what the mental load really looks like, why it often falls on women, and what couples can do. 💛

Read more and discover practical ways to lighten the load:

The mental load is one of the most common sources of stress and resentment in modern relationships -yet many couples don’t have the language to name it. At Anchoring Your Life Counselling in Brisbane, I see many women and couples who feel overwhelmed by the invisible responsibilities that keep the...

26/11/2025

Did you know that most of the things we worry about never actually happen?
A study found that 91% of our worries don’t come true — and honestly, I think that’s something so many of us need to hear.

Researchers followed a group of people living with anxiety for a month. They wrote down every single worry and then tracked what actually happened.
And the results?
Only about 9% of the worries came true… and even when they did, things turned out far better than expected.

The researchers called this “worry’s deceit” - that feeling that something terrible is just around the corner, even when the reality is much kinder.

Why does this matter?
Because chronic worry doesn’t just affect our mood - it actually shifts how the brain functions.

The amygdala (our fear alarm system) can become more sensitive, making small stressors feel huge.

The hippocampus (our memory + learning centre) can shrink, making it harder to remember things or hold onto the good moments.

Worry tricks us into believing we’re under threat - even when we’re not. And the more we understand this, the more power we have to gently interrupt that cycle.

If you’re someone who worries a lot, please know:
Your brain isn’t broken.
It’s overwhelmed.
And it can absolutely learn to feel safe again.

👉 Read the full study here: Exposing Worry’s Deceit: Percentage of Untrue Worries in Generalized Anxiety Disorder Treatment — https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32402257/

14/11/2025

Some children grow up in homes where the real danger isn’t chaos or yelling - it’s the absence of emotional safety.

Maybe you grew up with a parent who…
• projected their own trauma onto you, making you responsible for their feelings
• shamed you for expressing needs, boundaries, or independence
• played the martyr - “after everything I’ve done for you…”
• kept score of the love, support, or money they gave, and made sure you knew what you “owed”
• made an example out of you when you slipped up, highlighting your mistakes instead of supporting your growth
• couldn't tolerate conflict, avoided hard conversations, or shut down the moment emotions appeared
• never owned their behaviour - only yours

Children raised in these dynamics don’t just “get over it.”
They learn to walk on eggshells.
They learn to stay small.
They learn that love is conditional.
They learn that their emotions are wrong or inconvenient.
They learn to be the peacekeepers, the fixers, the over-functioners.

And as adults, they often become the ones who:
• apologise even when they’re not at fault
• struggle to trust
• fear abandonment
• feel responsible for everyone else’s feelings
• avoid conflict because it never felt safe
• choose partners who repeat familiar patterns
• don’t know how to ask for what they need

Not because they’re broken - but because no one ever taught them what safety felt like.

And this is why healing matters.
Not just for us, but for the children we raise and the relationships we build.

When adults and couples do the work - therapy, boundaries, self-awareness, accountability, emotional literacy - we interrupt the cycle.
We show the next generation what it feels like to be heard, to be respected, to be loved without conditions. We build homes where children don’t have to earn safety - they simply have it.

Breaking intergenerational trauma isn’t about blaming our parents.
It’s about choosing something healthier for ourselves… and for the people who come after us.

Healing isn’t easy - but it’s how we change the story. 💛

10/11/2025

It doesn’t happen overnight.

Resentment builds quietly - through unspoken hurts, small disappointments, and the moments where you stop feeling seen or appreciated. Over time, it can quietly corrode the love and safety between you.

But it’s not too late to turn things around. 💛
In my latest blog, I share how resentment forms, how it affects your relationship, and gentle steps to start rebuilding trust and connection again.

Read more here 👇

Resentment doesn’t usually appear overnight. It builds quietly - in the sighs, the rolled eyes, the conversations left unfinished, and the moments where one partner feels unseen or unappreciated.Maybe you’ve caught yourself thinking: • “Why do I have to be the one who always puts in the effo...

31/10/2025

💛 Betrayal can leave us feeling shaken, confused, or unsure of what to do next.

In this video, I explore betrayal, understanding the emotional impact it creates and some steps you can take 🌿

https://www.anchoringyourlife.com/

27/10/2025

Many of us worry about what others think - fearing judgment or people-pleasing. Over time, this can affect how you feel about yourself and how you show up in your life and in your relationships.

You might second-guess your choices, avoid conflict, or hold back from speaking your truth. These patterns can leave you feeling stuck or frustrated and can create distance between you, the people you care about and living life with purpose.

In counselling, we explore where these fears come from and work on practical ways to step out of that cycle. The goal is to help you live authentically, make choices that feel right for you, and build stronger, more honest and fulfilling connections.

When you stop letting the fear of others control your actions, you free yourself to show up fully - and your life and relationships benefit from your honesty and confidence.

www.anchoringyourlife.com

24/10/2025

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦Parenting can feel hard enough on its own - but when you and your partner aren’t on the same page, it can feel impossible.

One of you wants more structure. The other wants more flexibility. Before long, it’s not about the kids anymore - it’s about feeling like you’re on opposite sides.

21/10/2025

Behind every “nag” is someone who feels unheard. 💔

If you caught my recent video, this new blog goes deeper - exploring what drives the pattern and how couples can shift from frustration to understanding. Time for a ☕....

https://www.anchoringyourlife.com/single-post/the-communication-pattern-of-nagging-and-what-it-s-really-about

It usually starts small. A reminder to take the bins out. A nudge to help with dinner. A gentle, "Can you please call the plumber?"But somehow, the same request ends up on repeat - and what began as a simple ask starts to feel like an ongoing battle.If you've ever found yourself caught in this cycle...

17/10/2025

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to carry someone else’s feelings? 💭

It can start out as care, or love, or wanting to help. But somewhere along the way, it starts to feel heavy… and you begin to lose your own calm in the process.

This one’s about finding balance - staying kind and connected, without taking on what isn’t yours to hold. 🌿

14/10/2025

Ever catch yourself thinking, “I feel like a bad friend, so I must be one” - even though your actions and the people around you show otherwise? That’s called emotional reasoning, a common thinking trap.

It’s when feelings take over and we treat them as facts. Feeling guilty or insecure doesn’t automatically make it true. Your kind words, thoughtful actions, and feedback from friends often tell a very different story.

Two ways to remind yourself of the facts:
✅ Check your actions - did you reach out, support, or show care? That’s evidence.
✅ Notice feedback from others - friends often see what we can’t.

Remember, feelings are signals, not verdicts. Your actions and intentions show the real story. 🌿

09/10/2025

Ever feel like you’re stuck in a loop of asking… and asking… and asking again? 🔄

In this video, I break down why it happens and share practical relationship tips for:
✨ Expressing needs without blame
✨ Feeling supported in partnership
✨ Reconnecting instead of arguing

If you and your partner want to feel closer, rebuild trust, and improve communication, start by shifting the small patterns today. 🌿

07/10/2025

Therapy isn’t just talking - it’s about rewiring your brain.

It helps your brain respond differently, reconnect, and relate in healthier ways, forming new neural pathways. When you feel seen, understood, and gently challenged, you start to build new patterns in how you think, feel, and act. This process, known as neuroplasticity, supports real, lasting change. You’re not just processing what’s happened - you’re creating new ways of being and experiencing safe, meaningful connection 💛