Anchoring Your Life Counselling

18/12/2025

Anchoring Your Life Counselling will be closed over the Christmas and New Year period.

If you’d like to book an appointment for January or beyond, online bookings remain open and can be made at any time on my website:
👉 https://www.anchoringyourlife.com

However you spend this time, I hope it’s filled with kindness, love, and moments that feel meaningful to you 💖

16/12/2025

💬 Why “just moving on” after an argument isn’t so simple for women

Even when an argument is technically over, a woman’s nervous system may still be on high alert. The loss of emotional safety or lingering uncertainty in the relationship keeps the body in a heightened state. This isn’t stubbornness or a choice - it’s a biological response.

While many men may be able to move on quickly, women often need emotional reassurance to truly let go. What helps?

✔ Acknowledgement of feelings
✔ A soft, calm tone
✔ Repairing the connection
✔ Following up on the conversation
✔ Consistent behaviour after the conflict

For many women, moving on isn’t about logic - it’s about connection. Once the emotional safety is restored, the nervous system can finally relax, and real resolution happens.

💡 Conflict isn’t just about words, it’s about how the body and connection feel. Repairing, validating, and following through are what truly help women move forward.

Please note that while this reflects a common pattern observed in my experience, emotional safety is not gender-exclusive, and there are also situations where men need reassurance and repair after conflict.

www.anchoringyourlife.com

15/12/2025

❤️💔❤️‍🩹
This is such a devastating time for so many.

Please reach out to those who might need your support and wrap your arms around one another.

If you need to share information with children, this might be helpful to you.

My heart is with everyone affected ❤️

Send a message to learn more

10/12/2025

Is your relationship feeling tense, distant, or filled with small disappointments?
It might not be “big issues” - it might be unspoken expectations.

My new blog explores how expectations shape connection, what research teaches us, and simple ways to rebuild understanding and closeness💛

👇Read the full blog below:

“I thought you’d just know…” Most couples don’t fall apart because of one big moment.It’s usually the quiet, everyday expectations we carry - the ones we never say out loud. “Why didn’t you help?”“Why didn’t you call?”“Why don’t you care the way I care?” Expectations ar...

04/12/2025

Ever wonder why you see yourself - or the world - in a certain way? 💭

Sometimes the way we interpret life isn’t about what’s happening around us at all… it’s shaped by the quiet stories we’ve been carrying about ourselves for years - called core beliefs.

Take the first step to start rewriting them. 🌿

28/11/2025

Ever feel like you’re carrying the weight of the household - and your partner doesn’t even notice? 😔 That invisible “mental load” can quietly create stress, resentment, and disconnection in relationships.

In my latest blog, I break down what the mental load really looks like, why it often falls on women, and what couples can do. 💛

Read more and discover practical ways to lighten the load:

The mental load is one of the most common sources of stress and resentment in modern relationships -yet many couples don’t have the language to name it. At Anchoring Your Life Counselling in Brisbane, I see many women and couples who feel overwhelmed by the invisible responsibilities that keep the...

26/11/2025

Did you know that most of the things we worry about never actually happen?
A study found that 91% of our worries don’t come true — and honestly, I think that’s something so many of us need to hear.

Researchers followed a group of people living with anxiety for a month. They wrote down every single worry and then tracked what actually happened.
And the results?
Only about 9% of the worries came true… and even when they did, things turned out far better than expected.

The researchers called this “worry’s deceit” - that feeling that something terrible is just around the corner, even when the reality is much kinder.

Why does this matter?
Because chronic worry doesn’t just affect our mood - it actually shifts how the brain functions.

The amygdala (our fear alarm system) can become more sensitive, making small stressors feel huge.

The hippocampus (our memory + learning centre) can shrink, making it harder to remember things or hold onto the good moments.

Worry tricks us into believing we’re under threat - even when we’re not. And the more we understand this, the more power we have to gently interrupt that cycle.

If you’re someone who worries a lot, please know:
Your brain isn’t broken.
It’s overwhelmed.
And it can absolutely learn to feel safe again.

👉 Read the full study here: Exposing Worry’s Deceit: Percentage of Untrue Worries in Generalized Anxiety Disorder Treatment — https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32402257/

14/11/2025

Some children grow up in homes where the real danger isn’t chaos or yelling - it’s the absence of emotional safety.

Maybe you grew up with a parent who…
• projected their own trauma onto you, making you responsible for their feelings
• shamed you for expressing needs, boundaries, or independence
• played the martyr - “after everything I’ve done for you…”
• kept score of the love, support, or money they gave, and made sure you knew what you “owed”
• made an example out of you when you slipped up, highlighting your mistakes instead of supporting your growth
• couldn't tolerate conflict, avoided hard conversations, or shut down the moment emotions appeared
• never owned their behaviour - only yours

Children raised in these dynamics don’t just “get over it.”
They learn to walk on eggshells.
They learn to stay small.
They learn that love is conditional.
They learn that their emotions are wrong or inconvenient.
They learn to be the peacekeepers, the fixers, the over-functioners.

And as adults, they often become the ones who:
• apologise even when they’re not at fault
• struggle to trust
• fear abandonment
• feel responsible for everyone else’s feelings
• avoid conflict because it never felt safe
• choose partners who repeat familiar patterns
• don’t know how to ask for what they need

Not because they’re broken - but because no one ever taught them what safety felt like.

And this is why healing matters.
Not just for us, but for the children we raise and the relationships we build.

When adults and couples do the work - therapy, boundaries, self-awareness, accountability, emotional literacy - we interrupt the cycle.
We show the next generation what it feels like to be heard, to be respected, to be loved without conditions. We build homes where children don’t have to earn safety - they simply have it.

Breaking intergenerational trauma isn’t about blaming our parents.
It’s about choosing something healthier for ourselves… and for the people who come after us.

Healing isn’t easy - but it’s how we change the story. 💛

10/11/2025

It doesn’t happen overnight.

Resentment builds quietly - through unspoken hurts, small disappointments, and the moments where you stop feeling seen or appreciated. Over time, it can quietly corrode the love and safety between you.

But it’s not too late to turn things around. 💛
In my latest blog, I share how resentment forms, how it affects your relationship, and gentle steps to start rebuilding trust and connection again.

Read more here 👇

Resentment doesn’t usually appear overnight. It builds quietly - in the sighs, the rolled eyes, the conversations left unfinished, and the moments where one partner feels unseen or unappreciated.Maybe you’ve caught yourself thinking: • “Why do I have to be the one who always puts in the effo...

31/10/2025

💛 Betrayal can leave us feeling shaken, confused, or unsure of what to do next.

In this video, I explore betrayal, understanding the emotional impact it creates and some steps you can take 🌿

https://www.anchoringyourlife.com/

27/10/2025

Many of us worry about what others think - fearing judgment or people-pleasing. Over time, this can affect how you feel about yourself and how you show up in your life and in your relationships.

You might second-guess your choices, avoid conflict, or hold back from speaking your truth. These patterns can leave you feeling stuck or frustrated and can create distance between you, the people you care about and living life with purpose.

In counselling, we explore where these fears come from and work on practical ways to step out of that cycle. The goal is to help you live authentically, make choices that feel right for you, and build stronger, more honest and fulfilling connections.

When you stop letting the fear of others control your actions, you free yourself to show up fully - and your life and relationships benefit from your honesty and confidence.

www.anchoringyourlife.com