03/10/2023
This year was going to be my year. To launch my coaching and the Femme Shed Community to fully be in my flow of supporting other women, mothers and carers navigating neurodiversity.
Instead these past 12 months, I have been navigating severe intestinal parasites causing extreme exhaustion, Hashimoto’s flares with weight gain, loosing my hair and hormonal imbalances and the continuous cycles of starting to feel well and then it all comes crashing down bringing my mental health and wellbeing with it.
Most of this year has been trying to keep my head above water. Trying to get the kids to school on time, which most days we are always late, and just always feeling constantly stretched to my absolute max.
These past 2 weeks whilst the kids have been home on two week school holidays, I have been on strong parasitic medications and herbal support to try and kill the parasites once and for all.
However, the die-off of these little buggers has forced me to rest even more leading to getting quiet sick, with also loosing my voice and a perforated left ear drum which quite frankly starting to wear me down as I try and heal with the constant static in my ear, dripping of fluids from my ear and not being able to hear with my ear totally feeling blocked.
I have done so much health and wellness over these past 15 years as I have navigated the kids ASD, ADHD, Pyrolle, MTHFR and PANDAS journey, but I never knew how parasites not only affect you physically but also the major impact it has on your health and wellbeing.
Today, is the first day of school for the final school term here in Australia. These next 9 weeks over this term will go so quick with so many endings. My second eldest graduating from year 12, and my youngest daughter saying goodbye after 2 years to our beautiful Miss Courtney having had her for three of the 5 kids.
It will be emotional with more than ever the year coming to an end and end of cycles, but I also feel the emotions of not feeling like I’ve achieved anything this year and in the same place as I was this time last year.
These past 12 months have felt like a huge pause of feeling stuck not being in the place that I so wanted to be and this year being the year that I could finally feel like I belonged and found my “thing” of after decades of not knowing where I fit in.
It feels so draining both physically and mentally and once again you’ve failed at another thing you tried…..
As much as I do rounds of EFT and tap on the meridian points to release the stuck emotional energy, sometimes it just dosnt help the shift.
When we do EFT and tap on ourselves, whilst it is such an incredible tool we have right on the end of our finger tips in allowing our body to reduce the cortisol hormone in our body to help us stay out of fight or flight, our mind is so smart though and goes into protective mode that it wont allow us to go deep in acknowledging or allowing us to see what the triggers might be.
We can only go so far on ourselves in going deep to help remove the stuck emotions and lesson the triggers, and what is is really needed is to be held and supported in a safe space by a qualified practitioner that can help guide and support us going to deep and who can take us out of anything that gets too confronting.
But today, I just allowed the tears to fall and acknowledged that I’m healing and even though I’m not where I wanted to be and feel all the emotions and the sadness, it is all apart of the journey to wellness. If we dont look after our needs, our health and mental wellbeing then not only do we suffer but so does our family and our kids.
It’s so important we advocate for our own health and wellbeing. We are the glue that holds our family together. Who will look after our family if we can’t..
So, whilst I allow the tears to fall, being vulnerable and sharing my journey that I am still finding my way and don't always have it all together, it’s all ok. I dont need to have it together. One step forward if further from where I’ve come from.
Give yourself compassion, some self love and kind thoughts. Let go of any shame, guilt and all those negative stories going around in your head you are not good enough, Because you are. You are good enough. You are amazing and You are an incredible human being doing all you are doing whilst juggling how many things in the air.
