Pebble & Tide Counselling

13/11/2025

Why can’t someone simply focus? A new blog post on Pebble & Tide explores how attention works differently for neurodivergent brains, particularly how working memory, distraction and executive function all play a role. It offers clearer insight for anyone wanting to understand attention not just as willpower but as a brain process. Dive in if you are curious.

Many people with ADHD are told they’re “not paying attention” or “just need to try harder.” But the truth is much more complex and far kinder.ADHD is not a problem with attention. It’s a condition that affects the brain’s ability to regulate attention, switch tasks, hold information in...

08/11/2025

When Healing Ripples Back

After I shared my previous post about breaking down while sorting through my old teaching things, something unexpected happened. I was sent a private message on my personal social media by a former student. made a TikTok about me.

This young person was one of my hardest kids. But they were also one I was always hold a special place in my heart for. They were traumatised, angry, and constantly dysregulated. They hated school and every teacher who came near them. They hated the world. This kid had faced every traumatic event you can imagine and was mistreated by those who were meant to protect them and love them unconditionally.

When they left my class, something had changed. They could regulate their emotions. They loved school. They became a leader. And now they’re working and finishing high school.

I know what changed. I worked with them. I wove emotional-regulation strategies into the fabric of our classroom so they never felt singled out. I used trauma-informed practices, met dysregulation with curiosity instead of punishment, and built safety into our routines. I made my classroom a space where it was okay to feel, to fail, and to begin again for all students. Each student was taught how to identify their emotions, their triggers, their behaviours and explored what helped them regulate. Each student created a safety plan that we all followed. I even created one.

The caption on their TikTok said, “How that 1 teacher talked to me." Plus a shoutout directly to me. The song playing underneath asked, “Is there anything I can do for you, dear?
Is there anyone I could call?”

I sat there and cried. Not out of sadness, but because it felt like a moment of healing being handed back to me. The timing was uncanny. I’d just been sitting with resentment, grief, and loss. Then this small act of kindness arrived, reminding me that the care I gave still lives on in someone else’s story.

All because I believed in them. I gave them space. I listened without judgement. I showed them what a caring, loving person can do.

It softened something inside me.

Sometimes the universe brings things full circle in the gentlest of ways. For me today it was a quiet message that the love I gave mattered more than the ending ever did. 💙

So proud of you kiddo 👏

08/11/2025

When Triggers Surface

Sometimes healing doesn’t look graceful. Sometimes it looks like sitting on the floor surrounded by colour-coded folders, tears, and a storm of emotions you didn’t see coming.

That was me today.

I was sorting through old teaching resources, trying to make space in the shipping container, when things started falling off the shelf. I tried to keep calm, but before I realised what was happening, I was throwing things everywhere. Then I sat down and cried.

When I sent a photo of the mess to my son and husband, I just wrote, “I rage quit.”.My son replied, “Do you need me out there?” And a few minutes later, my husband came outside and said, “Leave it. Come inside. We’ll do something else, and when you’re ready, we’ll all come out together and help.”

He made lunch while I sat quietly, still teary. Then he said, “I think that sorting through your teaching stuff triggered trauma. All those years, all the memories.”
He was right. Seventeen years of teaching came flooding back. All the joy, the exhaustion, the heartbreak, the moments I gave everything for my students, and the pain of how it ended.
That’s when I realised I’d met a new emotion that had been hiding beneath it all: resentment.

I resented the person who caused the end. Not because I wanted revenge, but because their actions took away something I loved deeply. But even in the middle of that chaos, something beautiful happened.

My husband and son didn’t criticise me. They didn’t tell me to calm down or fix it. They offered safety, empathy, and space.
In that moment their support without judgement was worth more than winning the lotto.

It reminded me how far we’ve come as a family. We’ve learned to talk openly about our struggles, and we’ve started building safety plans for when triggers surface. A safety plan helps us recognise what’s happening sooner, know what support looks like in the moment, and remind each other that we’re on the same team, even when emotions run high. We’re now creating one for each of us because emotional safety is a shared effort.

Healing doesn’t mean never being triggered. It means recognising what’s happening sooner, responding with compassion, and knowing you’re not alone when the waves rise.

If your emotions have ever surprised you, or if you’ve ever found yourself sitting in the middle of a mess you didn’t plan to make, please know that you’re not broken. You’re healing. And that’s brave work.

07/11/2025

Gentle Intentions for November Month

For many neurodivergent minds, “goals” can feel like pressure.
So instead of pushing forward, what if we softened a little?

These intentions aren’t about doing more. They’re about creating safety, rhythm, and ease.

You might:
✨ Rest instead of rushing
✨ Start slow today
✨ Notice one good thing
✨ Take a quiet minute
✨ Celebrate small wins

Every tiny act of gentleness helps your nervous system feel safe.

Which intention speaks to you this month?

🪨Pebble & Tide🌊

04/11/2025

Things Society May Not Know About ADHD: Body Image, Criticism & Mental Health

As an ADHD woman, I’ve learned that body image isn’t just about how we look. It’s about how we feel about ourselves when the world keeps telling us we’re not enough.

Criticism hits harder.
Even kind or constructive feedback can feel personal. It can reopen old wounds of not fitting in, not doing enough, not being enough. That constant internal replay of rejection can eat away at self-worth and our mental health.

Body image and shame.
When you’ve spent a lifetime being misunderstood, it’s easy to internalise that pain. The voice that once said “you talk too much” or “you should try harder” becomes the same one whispering “you don’t look right.” It’s not about vanity. It’s about identity.

Executive dysfunction makes self-care harder.
We want to eat well, move, feel strong, but our brains lose track of time. We realise at 4pm that we haven’t eaten and grab whatever’s there. Then the guilt sets in: Why can’t I just get it together? That shame spiral chips away at motivation and mental health even more.

The emotional exhaustion is real.
Trying to “get healthy” while managing ADHD can feel like trying to swim against the tide. Every day becomes another battle between intention and energy, and it’s easy to lose compassion for yourself in the process.

Healing starts with honesty.
We don’t need to pretend it’s easy, or that we have it all together. Sometimes healing looks like recognising the patterns, forgiving the days that fall apart, and starting again tomorrow.

Body image struggles don’t just affect confidence. They touch everything! They can shape our relationships, our motivation, even how safe we feel in our own skin.

For me, healing isn’t about control anymore. It’s about care. Not forcing my body to change, but learning to meet it where it’s at, with gentleness instead of judgment. 💙

And this is hard to do after so many years of hiding, masking, and feeling “not enough.” I still have bad days where I want to disappear from the world or where showing up feels like too much. But I’m learning to meet those moments with compassion, not shame.

Every time I choose kindness toward myself, even in small ways, I’m rewriting an old story.
I’m showing my brain that I can be safe in my own skin.

I can’t always control my thoughts, or how others see me. But I can choose to love myself through it... one small act of self-care, one gentle thought, one brave day at a time.

That’s what healing looks like for me now. 💙

02/11/2025

Can we talk about time blindness?

Yesterday, I walked around the beach to get a photo.
On the way back, my brain said, “Let’s go through the bush. It’ll be quicker. Five minutes, tops."

According to my husband… it was 40 minutes. And honestly, once he said that, it made sense. I mean I did crawl through half of it.
And still ended up in the wrong spot 😂 I did get to see some beautiful swans though.

That’s the thing about ADHD. My brain doesn’t keep time the way other people’s do. I don’t always notice time passing until it’s gone. Sometimes five minutes feels like five hours, and sometimes forty minutes feels like five.

Sometimes awareness comes later. For me it was in the laugh, in the learning, in the “oh, that makes sense now.” And that’s okay.

Growth isn’t always in the moment; sometimes it’s in what we realise after.

01/11/2025

Let’s build a list of small joys. Those tiny, sensory things that make the world feel a bit softer.

I’ll start:
🌿 The smell of the ocean, the bush after the rain, frankincense, lavender or rose
🌊 The sound of the waves, or rain on the roof
🐾 The imprint of my cat’s paw prints, or a mineral I find while rockhounding

What would you add?

Sometimes joy hides in small details and noticing them is a form of regulation.

30/10/2025

When Safety Feels Far Away

Sometimes your nervous system doesn’t believe you’re safe. Even when logic says you are. That’s not failure. That’s memory.

Instead of forcing calm, try offering proofs of safety:
☕ Wrapping your hands around a warm cup
🪞 Noticing things around you like shapes and colours
🌿 Focusing on something real such as the texture of the chair, the ground under your feet, or your breath moving in and out

Safety grows in moments, not milestones.
You don’t have to earn calm. You can build it, one sense at a time.

29/10/2025

For neurodivergent brains, routines don’t need to be rigid. They need to be kind.
It’s not about forcing structure, but creating rhythm.

Neuro-affirming habit stacking looks like:

⏰ When I boil the kettle, I take my meds.
🕯️ When I light my candle, I write one line in my journal.
🚿 When I shower, I do one grounding breath.
🎶 When I put on my focus playlist, I open my to-do list.
🪞 When I brush my teeth, I name one thing I did well today.
💬 When I notice resistance, I tell myself: it’s okay to start small.

It’s not about “stacking productivity”. It’s about stacking regulation and rhythm. The key difference is gentleness.

🌊 Pebble & Tide

25/10/2025

🌿 We’re Updating Our Booking and Telehealth System

We’re always looking for ways to make your experience with Pebble & Tide smoother and more supportive. Over the next week, we’ll be moving to a new online booking and telehealth system that makes it easier to schedule your sessions, receive reminders, and meet online through Zoom.

Here’s what to expect:

🔵You’ll soon see a new booking link on our website and social media.

🔵 All existing appointments are still confirmed, and there’s nothing you need to do.

🔵 Our new system will allow you to choose your preferred session type (individual, couples, or family) and instantly receive your private Zoom link.

We appreciate your patience as we make this transition. It’s all part of creating a calmer, more streamlined experience for you.

If you have any trouble booking or connecting through Zoom, please send us an email and we’ll help you get set up.

25/10/2025

I’ve been a bit quiet on here lately. A friend recently took their own life, and it’s left me feeling deeply saddened. It's been an emotional roller-coaster to be honest.

I’ve also felt a deep sadness for my friend. The weight they must have carried alone. That sadness has reminded me how important it is that we keep showing up for one another, even when life looks fine from the outside.

In the past few weeks, I’ve been making sure to speak with my own therapist, as well as leaning on family and friends. I’ve spent time grounding myself, resting, and taking small steps toward healing become grief and shock take energy to process, and none of us are meant to do it alone.

We often wait until someone is in visible crisis before we reach out. But the truth is, connection shouldn’t just happen when things are falling apart. It’s something we build, moment by moment, message by message, coffee by coffee.

Checking in doesn’t have to be big or awkward. It can be:
💬 “Hey, haven’t seen you around. How are you doing lately?”
📞 “Just thought of you today and wanted to say hi.”
💙 “You popped into my mind, how’s life treating you?”

Those small acts matter. They tell people they’re not invisible. They remind them that someone cares and sometimes, that’s what helps someone hold on.

So please, check in with your mates. Not just when things get tough, but all the time. Because we never really know what’s going on beneath the surface, and your kindness could make more of a difference than you realise.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out for support:
📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14
💙 Beyond Blue – 1300 22 4636
📱 Suicide Call Back Service – 1300 659 467

You’re never alone, and help is always here.
Let’s keep showing up for each other; quietly, gently, and often.

🪶 Cate | Pebble & Tide