The Inspired Child

08/02/2023

01/02/2023

“My child never listens!”

Do they really mean “listen” or do they mean “obey”?

When we teach children that the meaning of the word “listen” is actually “obey” they never learn the true meaning of the word. The act of “listening” to someone else instantly evokes feelings of giving up one’s power.

That’s why we try to control other people’s actions and feelings when they do ask us to listen. We think “if I just listen to their point of view, I’m complying and agreeing with what they are saying.” That’s not what “listening” means. When “listen” means “obey” it can be hard for people not to get defensive.

I believe I encounter this paradigm most days, online. People read something I wrote that they do not agree with. They become offended and defensive, even though the post was not personally addressed to them. They made a choice consume the message. Instead of seeing it as a message that they could listen to or not, they saw it as a requirement to obey; “how dare you try to tell me how to parent?”

Well, I didn’t... but when we teach children that the concept of “listening” and “obedience” are so closely intertwined, people can spend their life becoming defensive of those who don’t share their views on everything.

J. Milburn

Edited to add:

Examples of alternatives to “listen to me!”

“I need you to _____ because ______.”

“You need to _______ because _______.”

“You will need to _______ if you want to _______.”

Examples in practice

“I need you to hold my hand because I need to keep you safe in the busy parking lot.”

“You need to brush your teeth because you just ate a cupcake.”

“You will need to put on your shoes if you want to go to the park.”.

Learn more about this in my latest 📖

Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parents Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation

Link in bio or on the Website: responsiveparentinginspirations.com

01/02/2023

Quote: Josh Shipp ❤️

28/01/2023

via Maggie Dent

09/01/2023

😊🙌🦋

19/12/2022

“Mine, mine, mine”

Many small children tend to identify strongly with a few or many of their material possessions. This is not a sign of “materialism” or being “spoiled.” It’s that their treasured items have become an extension of their identity. Their identity is just beginning to form. This attachment to “stuff” is simply one way children begin to express their identity. It also gives them a sense of security, similar to what their parent provided.

Learn more about toddler’s in the Toddler Workshop Series 👇👇👇👇👇
Common Questions about the Toddler Workshop
1. Is it at a certain time? No, you can watch the sessions anytime.
2. Can I access them offline? Yeah, they are MP4’s so you can download them to your device.
3. Is there a limit to how many times I can watch them? No
4. What is the format? They are animated power point presentations. Sessions 1-3 are not narrated and sessions 4-6 are narrated.
5. A workshop like this usually costs over 100$’s, why is yours so cheap? I just want it to be accessible.

Link to workshop series: https://responsiveparentinginspirations.com/products/toddler-workshop-series-full-workshop

15/12/2022

LOVE ❤❤❤
source: unknown

15/12/2022

Sometimes mums are just annoying.

Why are we annoying?

Because our job is not to be their friend.
Our job is not to be the fun one all the time.
Our job is not to say ‘yeah do whatever’.

Our job is to steady them in the storm.

To set boundaries.

To role model good values.

To show them how much we believe in their potential by setting high expectations.

To remind them they are not the most important person in the room so they can be aware in social situations.

To show them that love can sometimes mean honesty.

And to give them the dignity of taking responsibility for their actions.

These things can be super annoying … therefore so are we.

So my question for you is…. Which one of these are you willing to skip in order to be less annoying to your child?

I’m off to be annoying 😂😂😂
❤️

05/11/2022

Authoritative parenting is a collaborative approach that helps kids develop independence and compassion. Here's what you need to know about this parenting style.

04/11/2022

Dads matter just as much as moms- and do just as much, too- when it comes to raising happy and healthy kids, and these studies more than prove it. Check them out!

04/11/2022

Forcing kids to give hugs against their will sends a very dangerous message! Find out what it is and what kids can do instead.