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Re-MIND Institute, Melbourne (2025)

18/12/2025

Toxic positivity is spiritually violent. It's abuse dressed up as advice. Toxic positivity says:

"You're anxious? Think happier thoughts."
"You're depressed? Be grateful."
"You're triggered? Just let it go."

What it really does:

Shames you for struggling
Makes you feel MORE broken
Tells you there's something wrong with YOUR thinking

There's not. There's something different about your nervous system. And that's not a thinking problem.

Here's the real truth:
Trying to think positively when your nervous system is dysregulated is like trying to have a conversation in a language you never learned.

You can KNOW the words you want to think. You can WANT to be positive. But if your system is in panic mode, you'll default to what you DO know: anxiety. Rumination. Spirals.

This isn't your thinking being broken. This is your nervous system doing exactly what it learned to do.

Once you understand this, everything changes.
Because now you're not fighting your thoughts. You're regulating your system.

Here's what actually works:
STEP 1: Regulate your nervous system FIRST (Not thinking. Moving. Breathing. Somatic work.)
STEP 2: THEN your thoughts naturally shift (Not because you forced them. Because your system calmed down.)
STEP 3: THEN you have access to choice (From a grounded place, not from forced positivity.)
This is backwards from what you've been told.

You're not broken for struggling with anxiety. You're not weak for feeling depressed. You're not failing at healing because positive thoughts aren't working.
You're just working with the wrong approach.
Regulate your system. Then the rest follows.

Does this land? Have you been doing the "positive thinking" dance?
Comment below: What would shift if you stopped trying to THINK your way out and started REGULATING your system instead?

17/12/2025

She couldn't say no. Her life was chaos.

One framework changed everything.

This is Sarah's story (client name changed).

Sarah was saying yes to everything. Work. Family. Friends. Her nervous system was in constant overwhelm. She felt guilty every time she tried to set a boundary.

Here's what she told me: "I know I should say no. I KNOW it. But I can't. Something in me just breaks."

That "something" was her nervous system.

Her people-pleasing wasn't a character flaw. It was a survival response she learned as a kid. Her nervous system learned: Saying no = abandonment.

So she kept saying yes. Even though it was destroying her.

Then she understood the root.

She started asking: "What would happen if I said no?" Her nervous system answered: "They'll leave."

But then Sarah realised something: She was already alone. Alone trying to keep everyone happy. The thing she was protecting against was already happening.

That's when she started choosing HER safety first.

8 weeks later?

- She sets boundaries without guilt
- She rests without apologizing
- She says no and doesn't panic
- Her relationships actually got BETTER because she became real

Her own words: "I thought setting boundaries would make people leave. Instead, the real people stayed. The people who only wanted my yes, left. And I'm finally at peace."

This is what's possible for you too.

This is what the Re-MIND Method actually does: It helps you understand why you're stuck, then teaches you how to choose differently.

Does this resonate? Are you where Sarah was?

Comment below. Tell me what shifts when you realise your people-pleasing isn't a flaw but a survival response.

💙

Save this. Share with someone carrying this pattern.

15/12/2025

Before you spiral, ask yourself these 5 questions.

Most people don't know they exist. Your therapist probably hasn't taught you this.

Here's the reality: When you feel it coming, that panic, that loss of control. There's a window. A moment where you can actually change direction.

This is what separates people who spiral for hours vs. people who catch it in 5 minutes.

Here are the 5 questions to ask yourself:

QUESTION 1: "Is there an actual threat right now?"
(Not "do I feel threatened?" Is there an ACTUAL threat?)

Most spirals = your system perceiving threat where none exists. This question moves you from amygdala to prefrontal cortex.

QUESTION 2: "What survival response am I in right now?"
(Fight / Flight / Freeze / Fawn?)

QUESTION 3: "What is my body trying to protect me from?"
Your spiral = your system trying to protect you from SOMETHING. Often it's: shame, rejection, loss of control, overwhelm.

QUESTION 4: "What would I need to feel safe right now?"
(Rest? Connection? Solitude? Movement? Validation?)

QUESTION 5: "What's ONE small thing I can do in the next 5 minutes?"
Not fix everything. One small thing. This moves you from panic to agency.

The full spiral-stop framework takes 3-5 minutes. Changes your entire trajectory.

Save this. Screenshot it. Next time you feel the spiral coming, pull it up. Ask the 5 questions.

Watch what shifts.

💙

11/12/2025

Your mom's anxiety became your baseline.

Your dad's rage became your hair trigger.

The cycle is real, and nobody talks about it.

Here's what actually happened:

You didn't just inherit DNA. You inherited her nervous system state. You inherited his reactivity. You inherited their unprocessed trauma.

Growing up in their dysregulation, you learned:
- Mom's anxiety = the world is unsafe
- Dad's explosions = anger comes without warning
- Their chaos = be hyper-vigilant
- Their wounds = carry them

Now look at your life:

You're anxious like your mom. You react sharply like your dad. You're hyper-vigilant. You expect chaos. You carry everyone's emotions.

And you think: "This is just who I am."

No. This is who they taught you to be.

Here's the real truth:

You didn't inherit your parents' unhealed wounds. You inherited their nervous system. And nervous systems can be retrained.

Breaking the cycle doesn't mean hating your parents or blaming them for everything. It means:
- Understanding what happened
- Taking responsibility for YOUR healing
- Choosing differently
- Teaching your system something new

The cycle CAN be broken.

And it stops with you.

Which parent's pattern do you see in yourself most?

Comment below. 👇

Save this. Share with someone carrying generational trauma.💙

10/12/2025

You're not "bad at boundaries."

You learned that your needs weren't safe.

People say: "Just set boundaries!" But you can't just do something you were never taught was safe.

Here's the real story:

Growing up, your needs = conflict.
Your needs = anger
Your needs = abandonment
Your needs = you're selfish

So you learned: My safety = everyone else's comfort.

You became an expert at:
- Reading the room
- Disappearing your wants
- Saying yes when you mean no
- Feeling guilty for having needs
- Apologising for existing

This isn't a character flaw. This is a survival skill.

The problem?
You're still using it.
You're still disappearing.
You're still apologising for having needs.
You're still putting everyone else's comfort before your own safety.

Here's the truth:

You're not "bad at boundaries."

You're perfectly designed for a childhood that's over.

The adaptation that kept you safe is now keeping you stuck.

And that's absolutely changeable.

Swipe through. Save. Share with someone who needed to read this.

Does this land? What boundaries feel impossible to set?

Comment below. 👇

08/12/2025

Right now, your window of tolerance is shrinking. You're triggered more easily. You're snapping at people you love. You're exhausted.

Here's what's happening:

Holiday chaos + family expectations + disrupted routines = nervous system OVERLOAD.

Your body thinks there's a threat. Because your usual predictability is gone. Because everything's heightened. Because you're supposed to be "happy" when you might actually be dysregulated.

But here's the truth nobody tells you:

This isn't weakness. This isn't you being "bad at the holidays." Your nervous system is working exactly as designed. It's just working at a threat level that matches your current load.

Once you understand what's happening, you can actually do something about it.

That's the whole point of the Re-MIND Method: Expanding your window so the holidays don't destroy you. So you can actually enjoy time with people instead of just survive it.

Does this land? What's showing up for you during the holidays?

Comment below. 👇

Save this. You'll want it before next week.

💙

06/12/2025

When you are spiralling, when the thoughts keep running, the anxiety is building and you feel like you are losing control, there is one question that brings you back to yourself:

Which survival response am I in right now?

Most people do not realise they have four primary survival responses: fight, flight, freeze and fawn.

Here is why this matters.

The moment you name the response you are in, your thinking brain begins to engage.

And when your thinking brain engages, you have the first bit of space to choose differently.

You cannot shift what you cannot see.

This is something our clients learn in Week 1 of the Re-MIND Method, and it often becomes a daily practice.

The shift looks like this:
From “I am broken”
To “I am in fight mode”
To “I can choose what I do next.”

That is where real change begins.

Swipe through the carousel and find the response you know well. Save it for the moments you need it most.

Which survival response feels most familiar to you?

Share it in the comments.
And if this helps, pass it on to someone who needs the reminder today.

You are not broken. You are responding in the way your body learnt to stay safe.
And you can learn new ways to respond.

💙

03/12/2025

Your thoughts aren't the primary driver.
Your nervous system is.

Your nervous system is constantly scanning the environment, your body, your relationships, looking for threats.

When it perceives a threat, it sends a signal that literally changes your brain chemistry.

You can't think your way out of that.
You can't willpower your way out of that.
You can't positive-thought your way out of that.
What you CAN do is regulate your nervous system.

And the moment your nervous system stands down, your thoughts naturally shift. Your body naturally softens. Your capacity naturally expands.

This is why talk therapy alone often isn't enough. Why knowing intellectually that you're safe doesn't make you feel safe.

Because safety lives in your nervous system. Not in your thinking mind.
This is why we built the Re-MIND Method around nervous system science, not just cognitive work.

Because we want you to actually feel safe. Not just think you should.

Does this change how you see what's been happening? 👇

Save this and share with someone who needs to hear it.

01/12/2025

You know that feeling when someone asks you something important.

And suddenly your mind goes completely blank.

Not because you don't know the answer. Not because you're unintelligent.

But because in that moment, you can't access your words.

You freeze.

Your throat tightens. Your face gets hot. You want to say something but nothing comes out.

Later, when you're alone, the perfect words come to you. And you think: "Why couldn't I say that then?"

Here's what's actually happening:

You're in a freeze response.

Your nervous system perceived a threat (maybe judgment, maybe vulnerability, maybe performance pressure).

And when your nervous system perceives a threat, it makes a split-second choice: fight, flee, or freeze?

In freeze mode, your entire system is focused on survival, not communication. Your prefrontal cortex (the part that speaks) shuts down. Your body goes quiet.

This isn't shyness. This isn't being bad at social interaction.

This is a survival response that your body learned to keep you safe.

The problem? You're using it in situations where there's no actual threat.

And that's exactly what we're addressing in the Re-MIND Method.

We're teaching your nervous system to recognize the difference between real threats and perceived threats.

So you can speak. So you can show up. So you can be seen.

Does this resonate? When do you find yourself freezing?

Comment below. Tell me your experience. 👇

And if this lands, save this video. Share it with someone who needs to hear it.

You're not broken. You're not shy. You're a freeze responder.

And that's absolutely changeable.

01/12/2025

Eps 135 - “Help Me Understand”: The Simple Phrase That Prevents Relationship Rupture
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2BtpDbidLM Our latest Re-MIND Podcast ep is live! Click to watch the full ep. What's your biggest take-away?

28/11/2025

Right now, do one thing:
Pause and scan your body.

Where do you feel tension?
Chest, throat, shoulders, belly?

This matters because the body signals before the mind understands.
And when you name what you feel and check whether there’s real danger your nervous system gets permission to settle.

This is a core foundation of regulation in the Re-MIND Method.
Our clients use this micro-tool every day, and it consistently changes how they respond to stress, conflict, and overwhelm.

Try it:

Name the sensation.

Ask: “Is there an actual threat?”

Notice what shifts.

👇 Comment what you found.
Your awareness is the first step to healing and growth.

Try this now.

26/11/2025

Here's why:

Dysregulation isn't a personality trait. It's not a character flaw. It's not something broken inside you.
Dysregulation is your nervous system operating outside its window of tolerance.

Your window of tolerance is the zone where you can think clearly, respond intentionally, and feel relatively stable.

When you're inside it, you can handle life. You can be patient. You can connect.
When you're outside it, you're either hyperaroused (fight/flight mode) or hypoaroused (shutdown/freeze mode).

And from those places? Yeah, you're going to look reactive. You're going to feel out of control. You're going to seem 'like too much.'

But you're not too much. Your system just needs to learn how to expand and stabilize that window.
And that's learnable. That's teachable. That's absolutely within your reach.

You've never been broken. You've just been trying to survive with a system that never learned how to regulate.

Until now.

Does this land for you? What shifts when you hear this? 👇

Save this (foundational concept) and share with someone who needs to hear it

Re-MIND Institute

18/12/2025

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