29/11/2025
I was quoted in today’s in this article on limerence by .
“Orly Miller, a psychologist and the author of Limerence: The Psychopathology of Loving Too Much, to be published next month, describes it as “an intense psychological state of obsessive longing for another person. It’s characterised by intrusive thoughts, emotional dependency and a powerful desire for reciprocation,” she explains. “Unlike ordinary attraction or infatuation, limerence involves obsession, emotional volatility and disruption to daily life.”
She adds: “In today’s digital world, uncertainty and intermittent contact – the very conditions that feed limerence – are everywhere. Social media keeps people hovering on the edge of connection, sustaining fantasy and emotional ambiguity.”
“The cycle can look like compulsion: constantly checking phones, replaying memories, idealising moments and imagining future encounters. “It’s not just in the head,” Miller says. “It’s a full-body stress response. The nervous system becomes dysregulated, swinging between excitement and panic.”
Miller stresses that limerence is not the same as stalking or erotomania, a psychological condition associated with some types of stalking.
“In erotomania, a person holds a fixed delusion that the other loves them,” she says. “Limerent people usually know their feelings may not be reciprocated. Their behaviour, like repeatedly checking someone’s social media, is driven by anxiety, not by control or malice.”
Recognising limerence for what it is can be liberating, Miller says. “When people realise this isn’t love, this is limerence, they start to reclaim their energy.”
Read the full article through the link in my story.
