Orly Miller Psychology

27/01/2026

In couples therapy, what interests me most is not the individual psyche, but the relationship that forms between two unconscious minds.

Desire, fear, repetition, defence.
So much of what unfolds between partners is older than the relationship itself.

We bring our histories into intimacy.
We reenact them.
We test them.
We suffer where something remains unresolved.

My work is to listen to the relationship as its own psychic space.
To notice where longing turns into conflict.
Where closeness becomes threatening.
Where love asks for something neither partner yet knows how to give.

Couples therapy is not about harmony.
It is about making the unconscious visible, so that intimacy becomes a choice rather than a compulsion.

attachment unconscious relationalpsychology therapyspace emotionalpatterns modernpsychoanalysis

29/11/2025

I was quoted in today’s in this article on limerence by .

“Orly Miller, a psychologist and the author of Limerence: The Psychopathology of Loving Too Much, to be published next month, describes it as “an intense psychological state of obsessive longing for another person. It’s characterised by intrusive thoughts, emotional dependency and a powerful desire for reciprocation,” she explains. “Unlike ordinary attraction or infatuation, limerence involves obsession, emotional volatility and disruption to daily life.”

She adds: “In today’s digital world, uncertainty and intermittent contact – the very conditions that feed limerence – are everywhere. Social media keeps people hovering on the edge of connection, sustaining fantasy and emotional ambiguity.”

“The cycle can look like compulsion: constantly checking phones, replaying memories, idealising moments and imagining future encounters. “It’s not just in the head,” Miller says. “It’s a full-body stress response. The nervous system becomes dysregulated, swinging between excitement and panic.”

Miller stresses that limerence is not the same as stalking or erotomania, a psychological condition associated with some types of stalking.

“In erotomania, a person holds a fixed delusion that the other loves them,” she says. “Limerent people usually know their feelings may not be reciprocated. Their behaviour, like repeatedly checking someone’s social media, is driven by anxiety, not by control or malice.”

Recognising limerence for what it is can be liberating, Miller says. “When people realise this isn’t love, this is limerence, they start to reclaim their energy.”

Read the full article through the link in my story.

29/09/2025

How does limerence differ from love?

Head to my website for the full piece
www.orlymillerpsychology.com ✨ 🫶🏼

02/09/2025

Some people feel the world more intensely.

Research on sensory processing sensitivity (Aron, 1997) suggests that around 15–20% of individuals are highly sensitive, meaning they process emotional and sensory information more deeply. This trait is not a flaw. It’s a different way of experiencing the world.

For highly sensitive and introverted individuals, relationships can feel both desirable and destabilising. Emotional intimacy may trigger a heightened internal response, activating the nervous system in ways that feel overwhelming rather than soothing.

The nervous system of a sensitive person may take longer to recover from stimulation. Noise, conflict, change, or even subtle emotional shifts in others can feel dysregulating. As a result, withdrawal becomes a form of protection. While often interpreted as detachment, it is actually a form of self-preservation.

Solitude and silence offer restoration. But over time, extended solitude may deepen feelings of isolation and increase vulnerability to anxiety, depression, and emotional dysregulation.

In depth psychological terms, the journey isn’t about becoming less sensitive. It’s about integrating the sensitivity, building inner containment, and learning how to engage in relationships without losing oneself. It’s about learning to be with others without abandoning the self.

If this resonates, you are not alone. There is a way to feel deeply and still feel safe.

Let me know how this lands for you.

❤️

28/08/2025

Published yesterday in “Understanding Limerence and Obsessive Love.”

If you’ve ever felt caught in a cycle of longing and obsessive thought, this piece may resonate.

Read the full article via the Psychology Today link in my bio.

🫶🏼✨

27/08/2025

✨ New article in Psychology Today ✨

“Anna checks her phone dozens of times a day, waiting for a message that never seems to come. A glance, a pause, or even a single word from the man she desires is enough to keep her awake at night, spinning stories in her mind.”

“This is the lived reality of limerence, the psychological state of obsessive love that can take over a person’s life.”

🔗 Read the full article through the link in my bio.

27/08/2025

✨ New Article in Psychology Today ✨

I’m excited to share my latest piece published in Psychology Today, where I explore limerence - the psychological state of obsessive love that can feel all-consuming yet remains poorly understood in clinical practice.

For many, discovering the term brings enormous relief. Naming the experience shifts the story from personal weakness to a shared psychological state, opening the door to compassion and healing.

📖 This is also the focus of my forthcoming book Limerence: The Psychopathology of Loving Too Much (Routledge, 2025).

👉 Read the full article here:

Limerence is an overlooked form of obsessive love that can hijack the mind. Naming it is the first step to healing.

26/08/2025

We don’t always know what we long for, but our dreams may hold the answer.

In Jungian psychology, dreams are not meaningless noise. They emerge from the unconscious, carrying symbols and messages from the parts of us we’ve neglected, repressed, or never fully expressed. Jung saw dreams as a compensatory function. They help the psyche balance what is missing in waking life.

When we dream about people from the past, versions of ourselves we never lived, or unfamiliar places that stir deep emotion, it can be a sign that something in us still wants to be seen or experienced. These images are often coded expressions of unmet needs, early attachment wounds, unlived potential, or grief that has no other outlet.

Modern research in depth-oriented therapy supports this. Therapists working with dreams note how they can point toward integration, healing, and forward movement. Longing in dreams is not simply about nostalgia or fantasy. It can be the psyche’s way of asking us to listen more closely.

If a dream stays with you, sit with it. Ask what part of you it might be revealing. Not every dream needs interpretation, but many offer a kind of emotional truth that can’t be accessed in the light of day.

Dreams remind us that what is unlived does not disappear. It waits, quietly, until we are ready to meet it.

what dream has stayed with you lately?

🌙

26/08/2025

Here it is, the book that has been my companion for the last three and a half years.

Limerence: The Psychopathology of Loving Too Much is my deep exploration of the psychology of obsessive love, its shadows, its grip, and the possibility of healing.

Swipe through for the cover, the blurb, and the table of contents.

It will be released this December with Routledge and preorders are now open. Preorders make a real difference for authors, so if this work speaks to you, I would be grateful for your support.

🖤 Link in the comments 🖤

21/08/2025

What a dream. Quoted as the expert on love’s darkest labyrinth.

Thank you for this article about limerence in . I am grateful for the opportunity to share my research and reflections.

My book Limerence: The Psychopathology of Loving Too Much is a nuanced exploration of longing and obsessive love. It will be released this December, and preorders are now open through the link in my bio.

🕯️📖

19/08/2025

I’m excited to announce that my book Limerence: The Psychopathology of Loving Too Much is now available for preorder.

It examines the experience of limerence through myths, case studies, and contemporary insights, and shows how love’s most obsessive forms can be understood and transformed for healing.

Publisher: Routledge Books

Preorder here ✨🖤

Buy Limerence, The Psychopathology of Loving Too Much by Orly Miller from Booktopia. Get a discounted Paperback from Australia's leading online bookstore.