11/02/2026
Self-sabotage is so annoying because it rarely feels like sabotage in the moment. It feels like being “realistic.” It feels like being responsible. It feels like waiting until you’re ready. Meanwhile your brain is like, Perfect. We will now do absolutely nothing and call it safety.
From a neuroscience perspective, a lot of self-sabotage is your nervous system trying to protect you from uncertainty, visibility, rejection, or shame. Your brain is wired to prioritize survival over success, and growth is unpredictable by definition. So if your past taught you that being seen led to criticism, being confident led to backlash, or having needs led to disappointment, your system will start pulling the emergency brake right when things begin to go well. Not because you’re lazy. Not because you’re weak. Because your brain is doing what it learned to do: avoid pain.
And in real life, it shows up in the sneakiest ways. You overthink instead of act. You stay quiet instead of risk conflict. You say yes until you resent everyone. You cling to habits that numb you because they’re familiar. You stay in relationships you’ve outgrown because starting over feels terrifying. The goal isn’t to shame yourself into change. The goal is to notice the pattern with compassion, regulate your nervous system, and choose one small brave action anyway.
And if you want to go deeper, my podcast episode is out today on why we fear success (and how that fear turns into self-sabotage). Comment "Podcast" and I'll DM you the link. 🎙️
If this hit home, share it with someone who needs it. 💓
