16/02/2026
Let’s talk about self-love and compassion for Valentines Day!
Research in psychology shows that self-compassion is linked to lower stress, greater emotional resilience, and improved overall wellbeing. But what does it actually look like in everyday life?
Here are some gentle, evidence-informed ways to build more self-compassion:
✨ 1. Notice your self-talk:
Would you speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself? We want to soften harsh or critical thoughts - the aim is to reduce the harm and punitiveness to something more helpful.
✨ 2. Normalise being human:
Everyone struggles at times. Reminding yourself that imperfection is part of being human can reduce shame and isolation. Affirmations such as “I’m doing the best I can right now” can help to relieve some of the burden of unrelenting expectations we may have on ourselves.
✨ 3. Practise self-kindness in small ways:
Take a proper break. Eat regularly. Move your body. Rest when needed. Small acts of care matter and they definitely add up. As they say - you can’t pour from an empty cup.
✨ 4. Pause before reacting:
When emotions run high, take a slow breath and name what you’re feeling. Creating space can support regulation and help us to respond to our needs, rather than our initial reaction. Emotions can be very helpful messengers about what we may need in a given moment.
✨ 5. Set healthy boundaries:
Saying “no” when needed is not unkind - it can be an act of self-respect. Self-compassion isn’t about ignoring responsibility or avoiding growth. It’s about responding to yourself with understanding rather than criticism and setting a healthy boundary when it is necessary (and feeling okay in doing so!). Remember - another person’s reaction to our boundary doesn’t mean it wasn’t well placed (often, it is QUITE the opposite).
If you or someone you care about experiences difficulties with self-criticism or self-worth (and may find this difficult to shift), working with a psychologist can help. Please don’t hesitate to reach out for support.