08/12/2025
These beliefs don’t come from nowhere - they come from the places where you first learned that love was conditional, safety was fragile, and being “good” meant being quiet...
Here are the five beliefs that keep you trapped in self-abandonment, and why they feel so hard to break:
1. “I don’t want to upset them.” - You grew up learning that other people’s emotions mattered more than your own. So now your nervous system reads honesty as a threat, not a boundary.
2. “If I say how I feel, they’ll leave.” - This isn’t irrational, it’s learned. If expressing yourself once resulted in shame, punishment, or withdrawal, your body still remembers.
3. “It’s easier to keep the peace.” - Peace is not the absence of conflict, it’s the presence of truth. But when your history taught you that conflict = danger, silence feels safer.
4. “I just need to try harder.” - When love was unstable, you learned to work for it. To over-function. To take responsibility for both sides of the relationship.
5. “If I love them enough, it will work.” - You weren’t taught partnership, you were taught self-sacrifice. You learned that love means giving until there’s nothing left.
But none of these beliefs are “you.”
They’re protection.
They were formed in environments where survival came before self-expression.
And you can unlearn them.
When you start identifying your needs, honouring discomfort, and choosing truth over self-silencing, everything shifts, not because you change who you are, but because you finally stop abandoning yourself to stay loved.
If these beliefs feel familiar, your body is asking for a new pattern.
✨ Begin the shift inside 5 Steps to Stop Abandoning Yourself for Love (link in bio)
