For the man who’s wondering “What the hell is UBM all about?”
Mate, that’s a good question. I’ll tell you my story in a nutshell because I want you to understand how I ended up creating Unbreakable Man,
Why I’ve chosen to make becoming Unbreakable the foundation of my own life,
And why I plan on spending my future giving other men this same power in their lives. Am I saying: We never lose? Or that nothing ever troubles us? Quite the opposite. Being an Unbreakable Man means that you encounter all of the struggles that every other man faces in life:
Failure. Rejection. Mental fatigue. (Just to name a few…)
The only difference is that as Unbreakable Men we have prepared ourselves for these struggles,
By arming ourselves with the right strategies, ways of thinking, and a strong network of like-minded men around us,
So that none of these challenges are able to stop us from boldly moving forwards towards our purpose and vision for our lives. An Unbreakable Man is a man who has done the work to figure out what’s most important to him, and what he truly wants in his life,
And he’s done the work to become the kind of man who is able to create that outcome despite the challenges he faces. WHERE IT ALL BEGAN
So how did a Personal Trainer like myself end up coaching men twice my age on how they can improve themselves and their lives as a whole? Well in my opinion the leap from helping guys get fit, to helping them totally transform themselves and their lives in the ways that matters the most to them, is a fairly natural progression. I’ve been a PT since 2014, and I started my first Men’s Coaching Program called “Legendaddy” in 2018. Over the years I’ve worked with over 1000 GC dads to help them lose weight, get fit, and regain their confidence. You can’t do something like that for 4 years and not recognise some patterns:
Some men I worked with barely lasted 2 weeks in the program. Some men might make great gains initially but fall off after a month or two. Some men lost heaps of weight (sometimes 30-40kg), and totally transformed their health, but again over time found their old bad habits creeping back in, and today these men are in the same shape they were in when they started. Finally there were some men who lost the weight, got fit, and created the habits that supported their long term health goals. But that was just the tip of the iceberg, these same men hadn’t just changed their bodies, but their whole attitudes had changed. Their lifestyles, and the people they spent their time with most often had changed. As a Coach who just wants to see his people win, I needed to find out the reason why some men succeeded, and some didn’t. And how I could make sure that I was creating an opportunity and an environment that would help the greatest number of men create the best possible results for themselves. HERE’S WHAT THIS TAUGHT ME:
1. Some men I could not help. The most frustrating part of my job is trying to help a guy who does not want to help himself. I used to spend so much of my time trying to convince guys to do the things they needed to do to get what they wanted. These days I have learnt to recognise that I must let these men go, and focus on guys who are ready to do the work. If these men come back to me ready to try again then I will offer what I can, but ultimately a man’s success is his responsibility.
2. Most men were never taught or encouraged to be the leader in their own lives. Most men had never been taught or encouraged that instead of saying “I can’t because… (insert reason here)”, we can instead ask ourselves “How can I create (insert result) even though I’m dealing with… (insert problem)?”. So consequently when some men started trying to improve their health, and this inevitably lead to some other problems (injury, stress at home etc), they didn’t know how to create a scenario where they could solve both problems at once. So they quit, and are in the same poor shape or worse still today.
3. Finally it became clear to me that just “losing weight, and getting fit” was not enough. How important is getting fit if you’re unhappy in your marriage? How important is getting fit if you hate your job? How important is getting fit if you don’t think you life is turning out the way you wanted it to? Don’t get me wrong being fit is always going to be better than not being fit, but being fit is just a piece of the puzzle. Having a clear idea of where we’re going in life, and feeling like we’re consistently moving towards it, building our confidence, and creating great relationships, all whilst creating and maintaining great physical health… Now that is a goal. What this ultimately boils down to is having a clear idea of how we want our lives to look and feel overall, in terms of our physical health, mental health, financial health, personal goals, and the quality of our relationships. But these are all big problems on their own, and each of them comes with their own range of challenges. So to solve them all simultaneously can feel absolutely exhausting…
Easily enough to make any man give up before he’s even started. FROM THIS NEED UNBREAKABLE MAN WAS BORN. Through my own personal struggles and short comings, I noticed myself making many of the same mistakes as the men in my program:
Feeling lost, and procrastinating in my life. Becoming easily distracted by poor choices because I had nothing meaningful to aim at. I saw myself heading in the same direction over the long term. I couldn’t keep doing this and expect to be happy. Fortunately, I recognised the main thing that was holding me back. Myself. So I made it my own personal mission in life to become the strongest, most confident, and most secure man that I can be. Why? Because if there’s anything that’s going to break me it’ll be my lack of strength, my lack of confidence, and my own insecurities,
The things that cause me to doubt myself and stop me from taking the actions I need to take to create the feeling I want in my life. So I’ve made it my life’s mission to root out the weaknesses and insecurities that might prevent me from acting as the man I want to be. Every week I expose myself to challenges that make me feel insecure. Every time I feel myself hesitate on something I want to do, I take note of that moment and ask myself why it happened. This then becomes a reminder that there is still work to be done here. I won’t lie to you, it’s not an easy life. But the truth is, there’s no such thing as an easy life. It’s hard work becoming Unbreakable. But it’s also hard settling for a life that we don’t really want,
And spending our one precious lifetime not living how we want to live, and not being the man we want to be. I’ll choose the hard work over regret any day. WHERE I AM TODAY
Making these changes in my own life has allowed me to create more progress and life satisfaction in the last 18 months, than in the previous 7 years as a PT. It’s opened my eyes to just how many men are living lives that they’re either “ok with”, or desperately unhappy with, and it doesn’t have to be this way. Every man’s situation is different, and I don’t know what yours is, but I do know this:
If you’re genuinely unhappy with it, and you know it needs to change, then the possibility of change is there for you. The question is, are you willing to do whatever it takes to change it? Even if that means going through more pain in the short term to create the life you want in the long term? If so that’s why you must become Unbreakable. To arm yourself with the tools, the tactics, and the team necessary to help you get through challenges that inevitably block your path. Because the greatest skill a man can develop,
The one that has the power to change his life entirely,
Is the skill of never giving up. Men aren’t born, they’re built.
