15/02/2026
✨A Parent’s Perspective✨
“As a specialist education teacher, I understand the theory — the reasoning behind behaviour, sensory overload, communication differences, regulation and development.
But as a parent of a child with ASD, ADHD and PDA… sometimes things escalate.
Today was a PDA moment.
As a teacher, I say:
Look at the ABCs — Antecedent, Behaviour, Consequence.
As a Mum — I lost it.
👉🏻Antecedent
💁♀️My perspective:
I asked him to get dressed because we were going motorbike riding with his mates.
He asked if he could take his buggy. I said no — it wouldn’t fit in the car.
💁♂️His perspective:
Mum wants me dressed. We’re seeing my friends. I’m taking my buggy.
Mum just said no.
And that’s where it tipped.
I gave a demand — get dressed.
Then I removed a plan he had already decided in his head — the buggy.
Logically he knew it wouldn’t fit.
Neurologically — that didn’t matter anymore.
Fight mode entered.
👉🏻Behaviour
Crying.
Screaming.
Hitting.
Kicking anything nearby.
Including the wall… which now has a hole.
👉🏻Consequence
Initially:
💁♂️Him — crying, remorse, apologies, guilt
💁♀️Me — yelling, angry, disappointed
Later — once we were both regulated:
We talked.
We repaired.
We planned.
He will use his pocket money to help fix the wall.
✨The Two Truths✨
🧠Teacher brain:
He was overwhelmed. His nervous system was in fight/flight.
Reasoning was gone. He could hear me — but he could not process me.
The “lizard brain” had taken over.
❤️Mum heart:
I was angry. Upset. Disappointed.
And guilty for yelling — even knowing better.
But the important part comes after the storm.
Reconnection.
✨Repair✨
We sat down and worked through:
• What happened
• Why it happened
• What we can do differently next time
Next time might look like:
• One instruction at a time
• Lead with the explanation, not just “no”
• Stop talking once frustration rises
• Move away and regulate first
His regulation options:
Punching bag
Crash pads
Trampoline
Running outside
Sensory swing
Body sock
Because behaviour is communication — and this behaviour was loud communication.
He didn’t put a hole in the wall on purpose.
It was frustration and overwhelm.
But there are safer ways to express big feelings — and that’s what we teach.
✨Consequences Matter✨
Some people say:
“He has a disability — there shouldn’t be consequences.”
I disagree.
Disability does not remove responsibility.
It changes how we teach it.
Consequences should be relevant, purposeful and reasonable — not punishment, but learning.
The world won’t always adjust for him.
So I help him build the skills to adjust to the world — safely and confidently.
Everything — the good, the hard and the messy — is a teaching opportunity.
I will always advocate for him.
But I also want him to learn to advocate for himself.
Being a parent of a child with a disability is incredibly hard sometimes.
But watching them grow into capable humans makes every hard moment worth it.”
💁♀️Mum & Teacher of 10 year old with AuDHD/PDA profile
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Why This Matters to Seek Adventure Support Services
This is also why families value the right support around them.
Support workers who understand behaviour is communication.
Who know regulation comes before reasoning.
Who support both the participant and the parent after the hard moments — not just during the good ones.
At Seek Adventure Support Services, this is exactly what we believe.
Not just managing behaviour —
but teaching skills, building independence, and helping families breathe a little easier knowing they’re understood.
