05/06/2021
Rode up to the today. Been struggling a lot with
last couple weeks, out of sync with perspectives that normally kept that positive momentum and motivation going. At the end of “a depression” one grows a new perspective that teaches resilience and growth for a more evolved version of themselves. I learnt that bravery isn’t about being fearless. Bravery is knowing the risks, acknowledging and pushing forward without letting fear constrict potential. Being afraid of what others may think or do because of the truth you’re vibing will hit their cognitive dissonance and they have no choice but to attack. Know they’ll push that energy onto you to bring you to their level to keep you stuck with their limits mindset. I let fear in, and fled into my shell because I couldn’t deal with the world and it’s external effects that played on my mind. I found/find myself in disbelief with how humans can interact and be so selfish to one another. I sometimes ponder at “purpose” and “the why” on how others act in this world but I guess we are all stumbling with no direction. The last month I found myself selfish with perspective and feel none deserve my skills or support that I bring.. Ego aside I know my brain exceeds the average bear. I became depressed because “value” of myself was met with “energy and effort” and pushing forward is a mountain when you’re soloing it. Then a perspective to all that no one deserve my gifts, including myself, next thing you’re spiraling. I dislike humans to the extent to not interact with them and that’s ultimately old useless energy that isolates one, as per my following. I want to serve but it’s the concept of serving myself that needs to be my focus. My skill set to serve myself and then if people vibe I’ll serve them.