13/11/2025
How can you care less about what others think? π
A constant search for external validation is exhausting and disheartening. When we care about what others think we transfer power to them -- instead of building it within ourselves.
With social media documenting and informing the trends society says we should follow in order to be accepted, focusing on what feels good to you individually is a radical act.
But when you manage to make choices based on what you care about rather than what you think matters to others, you'll feel SO MUCH better inside. The act builds your self-esteem -- and that's because it's something you can control.
When you focus on something out of your control (i.e. how people react to you), the variables are vast and can backfire against what you may expect, making you feel poorly. However, focusing only on what you can control -- and eliminating the rest -- builds self-agency, self-esteem and self-identity.
So how to do it? When making choices, think to yourself:
~ Am I doing this for me or for how others may think of me?
~ Does this align with my values?
~ Is there any way I can control the outcome of this choice? If not, how will I react to that?
~ What systems or people are influencing me to make this choice?
~ Will this choice make me happy?
Read my book, 'Paperback Therapy' for more, and check out the 'Power to Control' exercise on page 25. π
--
Tammi Miller // Founder, Author & Certified Practising Counsellor
[Image ID: A quote that reads 'If outside validation is your only source of nourishment, you will hunger the rest of your life'; a page from Tammi Miller's book 'PAPERBACK THERAPY: THERAPIST-APPROVED TOOLS AND ADVICE FOR MASTERING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH'.]
