07/01/2025
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Let’s give this waste of a human, Randall Allen, his 15 minutes of infamy. Now, I won’t blame him for being the passenger in a police chase—maybe he just had a crazy uber driver—but what happened next? That’s all on him. Mid-chase, Randall decided to hop out of the car and make a break for it, straight into Walmart.
While police were hunting him down, Randall escalated things in the most absurd way possible: he tried to carjack a woman in the pharmacy drive-thru. Armed with a gun, he demanded she drive, while he attempted to simultaneously press the gas pedal with one hand and wrestle the gear shifter with the other. Bodycam footage shows Randall frantically trying to switch the car from Park to Drive.
The selfishness of this guy—terrorizing an innocent woman like that—is beyond words. Thankfully, the victim wasn’t physically harmed, but she’ll probably have nightmares for a while. As for Randall, the judge generously lowered his bond to $50,000. Because apparently, terrorizing someone at gunpoint in a pharmacy drive-thru is worth about the price of a decent used car.
After all was said and done, Randall got a quick trip to the hospital and a one-way ticket to custody, thanks to the officer who neutralized him before he could cause serious harm. Here’s hoping this time, the system keeps him where he belongs—far away from the rest of us.
