28/04/2025
Hello ๐ it's been a while since I've provided an update. I wish i could say that my MIA has only been because I've been lost in life; work, guitar/singing lessons, family time, nails, lashes, trauma therapy, exercise classes, chiropractor appts, outings with friends. But I've been struck down by pain for months. It started in my hips before Xmas (that's how I know it's been a while) and not being at my desk during the holidays I felt a difference. So I thought sitting was the trigger, I'll monitor once back at work and make effort to stand more and move away from my desk. I was okay for a while and then the pain began. I went back to the chiropractor to see if that made a difference but after months it didn't. Just before Easter, I went to my GP and told her of my pain and said I wanted to get tests done. She may have been surprised by my request given I have never told her of my pain. Like many of you, I fear the medical community. I don't trust them and I will suffer until I can no more, before seeking help. This isn't a great mentality I know, but its due to years of being thrown around drs, specialists, tests, diagnosis' and meeting people who don't always believe me. It takes a toll. But this afternoon, I recieved my results - bursitis and tendinitis in both my hips. I feel overwhelmed. I'm relieved but sad. Relieved it didn't take me as long to get a result (unlike my bulging disc a few years ago) and that what Im feeling is not in my head. But sad because now I need to change my whole routine, AGAIN, to focus on recovery. I envy those who haven't had to do this time and time again to make themselves well. I guess what I'm really feeling is grief. Grief that I'm here again, grief knowing what I must go through, to start to feel better again. I've been tired and cranky for over a month and it's impacted my mental health. I'm angry there is never an end date to this fight.