Eloise van der Merwe

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Eloise van der Merwe

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10/05/2021

I struggle with vulnerability, we have a love hate relationship because I have tasted the fruit of what is possible when we take that path but it is not my default at all! The process of vulnerability may be deeply uncomfortable but allowing others to see who you really are allows a process of growth that is not possible any other way.

I had a bout of vulnerability a few weeks ago and a precious soul shared such a beautiful analogy with me afterwards that has been so helpful in moving through a very interesting season. He asked me if I was fishing and my line was in a huge tangle, what would I do? I smartly answered that I would snip the line, go home and order pizza! He shook his head and said that no, cutting the line was not an option, sometimes you have to sit on the bank and gently unknot the fishing line before you continue and then when the line is untangled you can fish again. So I have had a season where I have slowed down and am untangling fishing line. That has meant saying no, pulling back and slowing down to really see and feel. I have also allowed others that are more skilled in unknotting to come alongside and help where necessary (also not a skill I am good at) but I have found a depth in relationships and life that I am not accustomed to. The funny thing is, those around me have found it safe to share their hearts more openly too and allowed me to sit in their mess with them too even when I don’t have all the answers.

So if you are needing to take some time out and untangle your line, please do, allow others in, slow down and see. And if you need some extra love or support to do so, please DM me and let’s have a chat. Much love xx 💛

08/04/2021

I read this quote on one of my favourite quote a day calendars about a week ago, and it was just such a reminder that sometimes I forget to see! I can get so stuck on all the things that still need improvement or fixing or attending that I can totally miss all the things in life that really feed the soul and I stop living with a sense of wonder. There is always hope. You just never know what is around the corner and if you are so busy and hurried that life gets blurry and fuzzy round the edges please stop right where you are now and take a deep breath and look around you and see, notice, observe - deeply and fully in the moment! You’ll be amazed how it changes your day! 💛 xx

08/04/2021

A gorgeous friend made up an oil blend for me for my birthday with a blue cornflower in it! Her flower love inspiration led to some experimenting and I am obsessed with adding flowers to my blends now! My two favorites at the moment are the frankincense and chamomile flowers and rose petals with orange and frankincense oils! 😍

12/03/2021

I can’t quite explain the feeling - my chest tightened, it felt like I couldn’t breathe, the room spun, waves of nausea and then a feeling of intense overwhelm and grief all mixed into one.

Time literally stood still as all the dots began to connect and I realised that what I was seeing was undeniable evidence that my marriage of 21 years was nothing that I thought it was at all and it was time to walk away. We had walked this path before a few years earlier and made it but this was different and I knew the finality in that moment.

Two years today I walked into my room and closed the door, made five phone calls and collapsed. I can feel the intensity of those emotions as I type these words and what unfolded in the months to follow were painful and confronting.

That evening my eldest two children and I sat at our dining room table and knew it was time to move on - we wrote down ideas and plans and dreams in a time that felt like everything was broken. In those days that followed I allowed others in, I accepted support (something I am not skilled at doing), I cried, I screamed, I cried some more. I tried to find some sort of normal in it all but it felt some days like I was walking in fog but my aim was to walk with love and grace and to stay true to myself.

I wish I could say that I got that 100% right, there were times when I really missed the mark amidst all the crazy but one thing I can tell you is that I realised that the only person I could control was myself (on a good day)!

A year later the children and I moved to a beautiful coastal town to start a new life and as I sit here this evening a year on I can honestly tell you that while I would never, ever have chosen this path but I have reached the beauty through the brutal by going straight through it even when it felt like everything was broken. I am not the woman I was back then - and please do not read into that that my life is perfect - it is a glorious mess at times, but I am me and am learning to live that out unapologetically.

I am so, so thankful for the many that helped carry the pain, for those that sat with me while I looked anything but graceful with tissues stuffed up my nose and eyes so puffy it looked as if they had marshmallow inserts underneath them, those who were brave enough to enter my mess and love me through it. You will never know what that meant to me.

And please know this, if you are where I was, there is hope, there is healing and there is a beautiful life waiting to be lived if you will just be brave enough to go through it and allow others in to carry it with you. And please, please know that you are not alone and do not hesitate to DM me or reach out if you need support.

08/03/2021

I realised again last week the power of woman coming together to tell their stories. I am blessed with the most amazing tribe of woman in my life and would not be who or where I am without that!

Happy International Women’s Day Beautiful Souls, and watch this space - I’ll be opening up some coaching spots in the next few weeks and looking to run a group coaching programme for those of you who would love to be part of a community of gorgeous women who are ready for change. Please DM me if you are interested or if for one second you thought - yes and then talked yourself out of it! Big Love xx 💛

02/03/2021

Happy Dr Seuss Day!

I have really been intentional about being present, slowing down and taking time to really see, which I have realised I clearly need to practice more - it’s not easy and sometimes feels very counterintuitive when life calls loudly from all directions!

Take time out today to read a crazy Dr Seuss book, or just open your eyes wide and look for the wonder in today! 💛

01/03/2021

Oh my goodness! I can so relate.

I worked with a beautiful soul this year that shared the most gorgeous analogy with me that has been so helpful and meaningful in navigating life.

This is my version of her wisdom, but it has made me stop amidst some interesting scenarios to laugh at myself and then move forward a little lighter.

As human beings we are complex and sometimes in situations we don’t show up as the best version of ourselves, especially when we are scared, angry, tired, afraid or feeling threatened.
So picture the Muppet Bus at the end of The Muppet Movie, and imagine that your job is to drive the bus and keep everyone calm (everyone being all the versions of you or the way you show up)!
Sometimes you need to pull onto the side of the road and say to Animal - ‘Ok, you’ve had your moment, now let’s sit down and move on!’

I then added that sometimes it’s Cookie Monster you need to tame, because let’s be honest, who doesn’t like cookies (or chocolate) when the going gets tough!

Later that afternoon it hit me that the Cookie Monster would never have been on the Muppet Bus - different cast entirely and started laughing at myself - I have both the Muppets and the entire Sesame Street crew on my bus! Plus I live with four gorgeous human beings each with their own unique crew and so life is never dull at our place!

But the point is, we can be so many things and feel so many emotions and sometimes within a very short space of time, especially when you are a parent, and it’s all ok and normal. Letting Animal drive the bus is probably not a good idea, and indulging your inner Cookie Monster might not serve you in the long run but don’t be scared to feel and live! And please don’t squash the emotions down as if they shouldn’t be there! Be tender, be fierce, soft, strong, fragile and courageous and be brave enough to be you! 💛

25/02/2021

For the longest time I have wrestled with my story and this week I had a profound shift after a session with a beautiful soul who has been supporting me the past few weeks. I realised that my story is MY story! I get to share it how I like and with whom I choose to share it because I lived it and experienced it and I own if fully - the mess, the miracles and everything in between. And I just want you to know today that no matter where you are, or how messy it looks, there is always, always hope! You get to rumble with your truth, rise strong and choose the next step.

And if you are in a place where you just have no idea how you will get through what you are in right now, please know that I have been there too and I want you to know that this is just a season. 💛

23/02/2021

Soaking in the last few days of summer! 💛

23/02/2021

Yes! Every day we get to choose. 💛

22/02/2021

Every single second holds the possibility for a miracle. I worked with a mentor who said that possibility is everywhere, we just can’t see it when we are not looking.

Allow yourself to imagine the possibilities, to dream, to have a vision and then to take action in that direction. So often we talk ourselves out of something before we even let the seed of possibility take root and that means the world lost out on something unique the you had to offer. I speak to so many women who have no idea what the want or where they are going exactly because life just got so busy and full on that they got a bit lost in it all, but it is a beautiful thing to watch as they realise that that fire in their heart might just be a spark but it’s there and when they start to fan the flames, amazing things happen!

If you are feeling a little lost or like there is more, but you just don’t know what that looks like exactly please don’t hesitate to book a free Clarity Call (and if you thought about that for a split second, and then talked yourself out of it … just book the call!) 💛

20/02/2021

After a rough day just over a week ago, my daughter bought me the most delightful book. As I got into bed that evening, exhausted and emotionally drained, I read the introduction and thumbed through the pages and on so many levels the words resonated with where I have been the past few weeks!

“This book is for everyone, whether you are eighty or eight - I feel like I’m both sometimes.”

Anyone relate? There are days when I feel like I’m totally acing this adulting thing only to find that the next minute I feel like I’m not much older than a three year old and wish to goodness someone would step in and just tell me what to do and how to do it and maybe even just do it for me!

“I think the wild is bit like life - frightening sometimes but beautiful.”

In describing when their adventures happen in springtime he says “where one moment snow is falling and the sun shine the next, which is also a little bit like life - it can turn on a sixpence.”

Charlie Makesy’s hope is that the book “encourages you, perhaps, to live with more kindness for yourself and others. And to ask for help when you need it - which is always a brave thing to do.”

So here’s the thing, we are all in this together and we all get to make a difference, and sometimes life is messy and hard and frightening, and it can change in an instant but it is also beautiful and adventurous and full of possibility. Be kind, be brave, and please, please, please reach out and ask for help if you need it.

And on a side note, I am back after asking for help myself and learning so much about me in the process! 💛

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+61448876050

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https://calendly.com/eloisevdm-coach/discovery-call

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