06/04/2024
TRIGGER WARNING .... THE BIGGER YOUR PURPOSE ... THE MORE YOU WILL BE CHALLENGED!
I'VE JUST SPENT 24 HOURS IN ABSOLUTE FREE FALL - Completely out of my depth - I've physically felt my Heart Racing and the panic engulf me - It's Day 2 of 7 Figure Academy with my millionaire mentor Luke Hawkins and his support Coaches like Bernice who I've been working with for the past couple of months. I have BEEN pushed beyond my limits and My break-throughs have been enormous!!
I thought I'd broken through so many of my limitations already ... my life experience and previous trainings had taught me how to:
- Be alert and aware of dangerous situations.
- How to keep the environment around me safe.
- How to be Resilient and Keep Going
- How to Care and Help others that had struggled.
- How to see People's True Value and Potential and how to help them Transform their doubts and fears into hope.
I'd spent 47 years being a "Fixer" - unconsciously seeking external validation as confirmation of My Life Purpose.
I'd always been most comfortable being the support person, staying behind the scenes.
But I've learnt that only served me to a certain point ...
I've needed to Shed my Skin, bare my soul and completely pull myself apart to evolve even more so.
I always felt that there was more and realised that I hadn't completely balanced all aspects of My Self -- I realised that we are always Evolving, no matter the challenges we go through there's quite possibly another layer that hasn't presented itself yet.
I discovered that despite having awareness, seeing the Silver Linings and experiencing the lessons - by only looking at the positives, I had yet to allow those aspects of myself to die so I could Embody the Truth of my Reality.
In doing so I've had to experience Loss, Grief, Heart-Ache and be more vulnerable, expressive, scared and emotional ... ALL feelings I thought made me weak, emotions I'd pushed so very deeply down ... in my fight for survival.
As a parent and as an over-carer, I've struggled to look after my own needs. The term "Self-Care", triggered me, I felt it was wishy washy because I'd developed such a strong sense of resilience - my fight or flight response was so highly tuned. I'd picked myself up so many times since being that beaten child who was told I'd never amount to anything to Breaking the Cycle of destruction by choosing a different life path.
I created a successful life, have overcome adversity over and over again! And helped lots and lots of people evolve along my journey. I had definitely broken certain aspects of upbringing, but had fallen deeply into the trap of Self-Sacrifice.
Life got busier, with more and more responsibility. Having 4 kids aged 21yr, 15yr, 11yr & 5yrs meant adapting to support the different needs of the people that mean the absolute world to me. I ran a survival program thinking that if I kept my inner circle happy and safe then I would feel complete.
Throw in Self-Employment and the Seasonal Stress of owning and physically working a Gardening Business and Staffing Issues and well .... my life turned into a hot mess of Chaos!!
No matter how I tried, every move seemed to result in even more Chaos and overwhelm. My intentions started to not match my results. I over-committed, became time poor and totally forgot who I was and what made me happy.
When you're a "do-er", there's nothing harder than "not doing".
But in stopping, in taking Self Responsibility, by being committed to Taking Action and asking for help - I've have taken my human experience to a whole new level.
I've had hard lessons in Setting Boundaries. I've had to completely break my life and Identity apart to rebuild it with a much Stronger Foundation than I previously had. I've had to practice and implement completely new Strategies. Ones that support and Nurture me so that I can be the best example to my friends, family and clients. I've learnt how to embody what's important to me, to calm my nervous system to pause and breathe ... to give myself time and space to reconnect with My Self and my True Essence.
I've realised the benefit of this so very deeply, I've witnessed the benefit of the last 7 year cycle where I've been connecting with the Earth, through my Gardening Business and seeing what has been so desperately needed in our community. I'm so excited to be re-launching from a foundation of inner and outer balance.
