Healing Insights Counselling

14/11/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1MdSkVfwzu/

Robert 💙

11/11/2025

People pleasing.
This is the one that unlocked a new level of understanding for me, and how I learned about my own areas of emotional unavailability.

I NEVER thought I was emotionally unavailable, despite often finding myself in relationships with or pursuing emotionally unavailable people. After all, I felt my feelings strongly and I was very attuned to other people’s emotions, so that must mean I was available, right?

What I’ve slowly learned is that by downplaying my own needs and feelings in order to hold space for and meet the needs of everyone else, I wasn’t being honest with myself OR them.

I wasn’t actually letting people see me.
I was controlling the narrative, and would often end up being passive aggressive later on down the line because I hadn’t been open about what was working for me throughout the relationship. Sometimes I didn’t even know, because I was so desperate to be accepted that I was just trying to be who I thought they wanted me to be.

Emotional availability is being present to your feelings and needs and being willing to share them, and allowing the other person to have their own feelings and responses to your needs. It’s vulnerable bc we’re never sure what’s going to happen.

And of course, we people-please for a reason.
I didn’t do this on purpose; it was what I was raised to do in my family system because many parts of me were shamed early on, so I developed the ability to hide them.
I still sometimes have to fight the urge to downplay my own needs and to actually speak up when my feelings might inconvenience someone.

But I see it now.

Hiding your actual needs and feelings doesn’t allow other people to see the real you. They don’t get to know the real you or hold space for the real you. They don’t get the privilege of helping you when you need it, or get to show deeper sides of their personality if they’re only ever responding to one aspect of yours.

In case you missed it, The EQ School can send daily texts to your phone — which is great if you’re trying to spend less time on social media but still want reminders that help you check in with yourself, and to remind you of why you’re doing the work.
https://hdly.me/theeqschool

11/11/2025

Love this beautiful reminder of how we can validate, compliment and acknowledge people without referring to their hair, body shape, or any other physical feature - and it means so much more too!

Everyone wants to be seen. Not for the surface stuff, but for who they really are. Giving a compliment that goes deeper than how someone looks, to how they walk through life, can stay with a person much longer, and be way more meaningful.

CHALLENGE: Next time you want to compliment someone (your child, coworker, or the barista at your favorite cafe) include a non-physical compliment and notice the reaction. You are connecting in a deeper way, and these few words can actually have a bigger impact than you may realize on someone’s life.

Drop a ✨✨ if this sounds good to you.

11/11/2025

Powerful words worth reflecting on - some of the loneliest times I have ever experienced was when I was in the company of others who did not see me or care to look long enough. At other times, these people wouldn't have seen me if I stood up and yelled at the top of my lungs. Being alone is vastly different from the desperate aching of a void that nobody sees. How did you reach out for true connection when you needed it? What did you need to feel safe enough to be that courageous?

11/11/2025

09/11/2025

Anger is NOT the enemy we have been taught to believe - it is often the space where we find our true selves - our wounded, confused and disconnected selves - and when we come home to ourselves, the healing can begin - go gentle with your anger - don't allow yourself to get stuck there, but meet yourself at the precipice of this dark void and allow that part of you to rage, to cry and to demand freedom - and then lead yourself back to your true "home". This is your birthright and the key to your evolution. 🧚‍♂️🐝🐞🦋

31/10/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/19yxEKW1SK/

31/10/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/14MCJc4q6GZ/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Robert💙

28/10/2025

It seems that perhaps Science has finally caught up to what we've instinctively always known - shedding tears is an intrinsic sentient way for us to heal our pain, self regulate and self nurture. Men in particular, have been deeply wounded by the patriarchy which has challenged them NOT to cry healing tears, not to show "their underbelly" and not to process their feelings. Modelling the catharsis of crying to our loved ones, whenever appropriate, can slowly break down the old stigmas and allow for us all to lean into the importance of shedding tears. I cry often and freely and I am grateful for this important gift that we have been given.