01/30/2026
Parents of tweens and beyond, do you ever look back and chuckle at how stressed we felt when the biggest issue on ouur plate was puree or BLW? Breastmilk or formula? Sleep train or co sleep? Everything felt so monumental and *important*. Montessori, or Waldorf? Traditional or outdoor preschool? It felt like a Choose Your Own Adventure Book and one wrong decision meant GAME OVER.
Turns out, some of us should have been a bit more concerned about if we were teaching our kids to be kind - accepting - inclusive - and empathetic because
I'll be honest - I didn't imagine 11 being the age I would be teaching my kid what gaslighting means, but alas - here we are. Yes, the vibes are off, no you AREN'T crazy, and here's what we're gonna do.
Interpersonal dynamics amongst tween girls feels especially insidious. Not enough outward "bullying" to attract an authoritative audience or leave visible marks, but enough to poison the recipient from the inside out. The passive aggressive comments, the purposeful exclusion from group dynamics, and the intentional acts to make others uncomfortable make my heart break.
I'm tight rope walking the line between teaching the girls that that behaviour stems from a dark place and to show grace when possible, but also that we do not have to accept that treatment from anyone. We can be kind, but we don't have to be punching bags. And despite how world-shattering it feels like right now, it's better to be a lone wolf than belitted by the pack.
Ugh - am I alone here? When does it get better? Boy moms, teachers, can you weigh in?
