11/04/2025
When your partner says “Look at that bird!” — they’re not testing your eyesight 🐦
They’re reaching out for connection.
In Gottman’s research, these small moments — called bids for connection — are the tiny threads that hold relationships together. They might sound simple: a comment about the weather, a story from work, or a shared glance across the room. But how we respond to those bids shapes the entire emotional climate of the relationship.
We all have countless opportunities each day to either turn toward, turn away, or turn against our partner.
Turning toward might look like a smile, a small “tell me more,” or putting your phone down for a second. It’s less about the bird — and more about saying, “I see you, I’m with you, you matter.” 💞
It’s these micro-moments of presence and care that build emotional safety and long-term trust.
Not grand gestures, not perfect communication — just everyday awareness and gentle attention.
So the next time your partner says, “Look at that bird!” — pause, look up, and turn toward. You might just be building something beautiful, one moment at a time.
