11/23/2025
🌿Sunday Reflections: Boundaries, Peace and Compassion During the Holiday Season🌿
As we move into the holiday season, many of us are preparing to gather with family and friends. For some, this time of year brings warmth, connection and joy. For others, it can stir up anxiety, stress and emotional fatigue. The holidays often highlight the dynamics we’d rather avoid, especially when it comes to family.
The truth is, Uncle Bob is still going to be Uncle Bob. He is still going to make those off-colour remarks, share outdated opinions and dominate the dinner table conversation in ways that make people uncomfortable. You are probably not going to change that. You are not going to fix years of behaviour in a single evening over mashed potatoes.
What you can do is make choices that protect your peace.
Boundaries are essential, especially in emotionally charged environments. A boundary is not about pushing people away or being harsh. It is about recognising your own limits and choosing how much access others have to your time, energy and presence. It might mean stepping outside for a break, avoiding certain topics, or even deciding not to attend a gathering at all.
Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we are allowed to choose peace over performance. We are allowed to say no. We are allowed to opt out of situations that feel toxic or too heavy. There is nothing noble about forcing yourself to endure discomfort just because it is expected.
At the same time, the holidays are also an invitation to practise compassion. Not the kind of compassion that makes you a doormat, but the kind that allows you to hold people in love without needing to change them. Compassion can sound like silence instead of a sarcastic comeback. It can look like stepping away from a conversation rather than trying to win an argument. It can be as simple as quietly blessing someone, even if you completely disagree with them.
Compassion does not require agreement. It does not mean excusing harmful behaviour. It means seeing the human underneath, even when they are difficult to love. And sometimes, the most compassionate act is holding space for yourself, by not putting yourself in a situation that is going to do harm.
While we are tending to our own boundaries and inner well-being, let’s also remember those around us who may not be gathering with family at all. Many people are living in isolation. Some are grieving. Some are simply trying to survive. The holiday season can magnify loneliness and pain for those who are struggling.
If you are in a space of stability this year, even just a little, consider reaching out to someone who might not be. A call, a text, an invitation, a small act of kindness — these things matter. Being aware of those in our community who might be suffering quietly is also part of walking in compassion.
This season is not about having the perfect gathering or saying all the right things. It is about staying grounded in your truth, offering what love you can, and being wise about where and how you show up. Boundaries and compassion are not opposites. They can coexist beautifully when you lead with intention.
You can love people and still choose distance. You can be kind and still say no. You can hold peace and still stand firm. And that, too, is part of the spirit of the season.
Wishing you a peaceful, grounded, and loving holiday.
With care,
Rev. Kim Etherington
