12/01/2025
'Twas The Night Before Christmas
And I Was Ready, Were You?
How To (Really) Have A Very Merry Christmas
If you're anything like me, Christmas is not a day—it is a magical season that encompasses all of December and floats into the new year. It is a season of sights and sounds and scents that warms your heart and home. Although, if you're one of the approximately 80% of women who suffer from PMS or PMDD, it is a cyclical fact that your symptoms will rear their Grinch-like head at some point during the festive season. You can enjoy the holidays, even with PMS or PMDD lurking in the shadows, if you plan ahead and accept your limitations. This doesn't mean you'll be stuck in the corner, grumbling with Scrooge. With a proactive attitude and simple organizing, you can thrive—not merely survive—this holiday season.
Many women consider the miracle of Christmas the mere fact that they survived the holidays. Come January they feel worn and weary, overweight and overdrawn. This makes for a somber reminder of, what should be, a truly joyful time of year. Maybe you just need a little help with the holidays.
If you follow this site, you already know that PMS and PMDD are chronic conditions that can be effectively treated with a unified program of nutritional and lifestyle practices. But with temptations everywhere and the heightened holiday pace, the festive season poses a challenge. You might commit, in advance, to various holiday events, only to find yourself overwhelmed by a myriad of symptoms on the day of. It is better to bow out of a commitment than to put yourself in a position where your symptoms will create emotional or physical distress. It's okay to gently say No. "I'm so sorry. I seem to have double booked myself on that day. I'm afraid I won't be able to attend/help out/ contribute." It's a harmless little fib that offers a viable solution.
Just as controlling the symptoms of PMS requires planning and preparation, so does making it through the holidays unscathed. Here are some tried and true tips to ensure this season is filled with calm instead of chaos and warmth rather than worn out.
Organize Your Time
You already understand the importance of charting your PMS cycle. Put this info to good use. Complete as many preparations as you can before and after your PMS cycle. Start in early November. The stores are stocked and ready so why not use this opportunity to purchase ornaments, stocking stuffers, wrapping paper, bows, ribbon and tags. Make a list to replace any broken decorations and tree lights. You'll beat the crowds, score the best deals and selection, and you'll find yourself in the holiday spirit when the calendar turns to December. This should help you feel empowered and energized so you can tackle the rest of your holiday preparations with a positive attitude.
Create a Christmas Calendar
There are endless apps for creating a calendar with plenty of space for lists and notes. Start by highlighting your PMS days. And don't hide this from your loved ones. A head's up goes a long way in promoting understanding and a helping attitude. Record obligations and events (school plays, volunteer commitments, social invites, the company party and the family potluck). Choose days for remaining tasks: shopping, wrapping, baking, decorating, tree trimming, gift delivery and shipping. Focusing on one task at a time, on a schedule, allows you to complete preparations without feeling overwhelmed.
Allow Yourself a 'Free Day' Once a Week
It is important to book time for yourself. One stress free, commitment free day (or evening) per week will leave you revitalized and ready to resume your To Do list. You don't want the holiday season to feel like a marathon. Spend your free time doing something enjoyable and relaxing. Light some scented candles, soak in a bubble bath, listen to some jazz, enjoy a glass of wine (or all of the above). You got this.
Involve the Whole Family
Make the holiday calendar available to the whole family. Ask for volunteers. Discuss who will be involved in various preparations so that it doesn't all fall on you. Young children will enjoy decorating the tree. With some colored paper, glue, crayons and sparkles, you can make an event out of having them create ornaments for the tree. I did this will my son when he was a little boy. He's a grown man now, but I saved all the little treasures he made and I put them on the tree every year. Take a tip from Santa, the more helpers the merrier.
Gift Wrapping
Gift wrapping is enjoyable when you can do it at a leisurely pace. Unleash your creative side. Is there a spice lover on your list? Fill a great pair of oven mitts with a unique assortment of spices and tie the mitts with raffia. Instead of a bow attach a set of measuring spoons. Tea lovers? Wrap a bag of specialty tea in a tea cozy, and tie a special tea spoon to the ribbon. If you're buying a tea pot, make it special by filling it with an assortment of herbal teas. Wrap kitchen or bar gadgets in a decorative dish towel and tie with raffia. Wrap bubble bath, shower gel or bath accessories in a super soft eggshell bath towel and tie with a pretty cloth ribbon. The ribbon works great for tying hair back before soaking in a bubble bath. Little touches can elevate an item into a truly thoughtful gift. It can also save time and money: one creatively wrapped gift instead of several small, awkward items. These tips are a quick and easy alternative to fumbling with wrapping paper.
Keep all your wrapping supplies in a clear plastic tote. Put gift tags, ribbons, raffia, bows, and tape in assorted sizes of baggies. Put an elastic band around rolls of paper to prevent unraveling. Keep a selection of gift bags for hard to wrap or last minute gifts. Wrapping is fast and easy when everything is at your fingertips.
Wrap gifts as you buy them. This has been my practice for many years. You'd be surprised at the time you save, especially if you have a long list. We all have extra wrapping paper, tags, ribbons and bows left over from one year to to the next. If not, take advantage of pre and post season sales, with mark-downs of up to 70%. Organization is the hallmark of efficiency.
I build a holiday fund throughout the year. If I see the perfect gift for someone special in October, I can buy it. I know where my wrapping tote is, and I wrap as I buy. It's a great time saver and I can take the time to enjoy wrapping each gift. This is helpful for gifts you need to ship, and you can beat the rush and ship early. Your parcels will be less likely to end up damaged and will arrive with enough time to be enjoyed under their tree. If you leave all the wrapping until mid December and go on a wrapping marathon, you'll find yourself frazzled and fumbling, and the finished product will likely reflect your state of mind.
If you don't have the time to wrap every gift when you purchase it, simply write the recipient's name on a sticky note, attach it to the gift, and store it in a closet until you have the time to wrap it. The sticky note is important. On more than one occasion I picked up a special gift, well in advance—at a sale, a vintage fair or on vacation. When the time came to wrap it, I forget who I bought it for! It's easier to do than you think, especially if the gift is something suited to several people on your list, like scented candles or home decor.
Let Children Help With Gift Wrapping
Even if you strive to be a gift wrap goddess, grandparents and family will delight in a less than perfect wrapping job created with love by a child. Accept that they might not wrap to your standards. You can make the job easier for younger children by letting them use gifts bags and tissue paper. Young children can manage this task. If you shop the dollar store you'll save on gift bags—as opposed to buying them in specialty shops where the mark-up is substantial. Most children enjoy taking part in the holiday preparations. You'll always remember that first, lop-sided precious package your child puts under the tree with your name on it. When you involve children in holiday preparations, you're developing the traditions they'll carry into adulthood. One day you may be blessed to receive a slightly rumpled gift, wrapped with love, from your grandchild.
Home Decorating
Buy home decorations as soon as the store flyers come out. They receive large quantities of stock at once so this is when you'll get the best prices. Wait until early December and the prices tend to remain steady as stores target impulse buyers and late shoppers. The next sales event is usually not until Boxing Day.
Holiday decorating can be a big project if you try to do it all in one week-end. Have a plan. Decorate one room or area at a time. Pick a week-end for decorating the tree. Make it a festive event with Christmas music and hot chocolate. Choose suitable days for outdoor decorating; when the weather is agreeable and you have age appropriate helpers.
Keep separate boxes for indoor and outdoor decorations.
Clear plastic totes or file boxes are effective ways to organize and store all your decorations. They are sturdy, meant to be stacked, and you can see the contents so you don't have to open half a dozen boxes to find the table top nativity scene or the front door wreath. Organizational skills are a common trait of successful business people. Put it to use in your life and reap the benefits.
Baking
Pick a place to store the non-perishable baking ingredients for your holiday baking. A plastic tote works well. Look for sales and shop early. You'll notice the price of baking necessities increases and supply decreases as the holiday season draws near. You also don't want to have to run to the store for that one missing ingredient when you get the urge to bake.
Sort through your favorite holiday recipes or search for new ideas on a quiet Sunday afternoon in November. Save the recipes you plan to make on your phone or tablet. Store printed recipes with your holiday baking supplies.
Organize your recipes early. List the ingredients. If your budget allows, buy everything you need in one or two shopping trip. Look for sales on expensive baking supplies like butter and chocolate.
Bake in small batches planned over several alternating days. (Most baked goods can be frozen.) If you give home baked goodies as gifts—a perennial favorite—put them in a festive tin or tray and they're ready to go when the time is right. Use masking tape as a temporary name tag, and attach your Christmas tag and bow just before gifting them. (Masking tape holds up to freezing and refrigeration where stickers and transparent tape do not.) Be sure to mark enough baking as 'Home' for your family, guests (and you) to enjoy.
You can reduce the cost and time spent on baking by hosting a 'Wine & Bake' night with friends. Set the mood with hot mulled cider and Christmas music. Everyone brings a favorite recipe and the ingredients. At the end of the evening, you exchange baked goods. Everyone ends up with a tasty assortment, you've enjoyed a pleasant evening with friends, and you can cross another task off your calendar.
Gift Shopping
Want to avoid the grumpy shoppers and long line-ups? Complete all your gift shopping before mid December. (I like to finish my gift shopping by the end of November.)
A new poll by CIBC found that 64% of Canadians haven't started or finished their holiday shopping as of December 14th. The biggest procrastinators are those under the age of 35, with 71% saying they will be heading to the stores in the last few days before Christmas.
Shopping has come a long way from the days of the Sears Christmas Catalog. Online shopping is fast, efficient, and all the major retailers and specialty boutiques now cater to online shoppers. Look for free shipping offers, flash sales, and added value incentives that can significantly boost your buying power.
You'll also find that one-of-a-kind gift for the hard to buy for person on your list at unique umbrella online stores. These stores provide the website space for individuals or pop-up businesses to showcase their specialty items. Etsy is an excellent example. They cater to individuals who make unique creative goods and custom crafts, or sell vintage items. I've shopped through Etsy numerous times and I've always had a positive experience. Shop early because these little shops have limited stock or one-of-a-kind items. Be sure you are on a site that ships to the country you reside in. Don't forget to include the cost of taxes and shipping charges to your gift budget. Since items now ship by both weight and size in Canada, you may think twice before ordering a bulky or heavy item.
If you prefer to shop in person, divide gift shopping into short, specific trips. Make a wish list and shop for one or two specific people on each trip. Have a general idea of what you're looking for and which stores stock that item—save time and gas by not driving all over town and hitting all the malls. Shop in the early morning to avoid crowds. Whether shopping online or in person, take advantage of pre-season sales, free gift wrapping and free delivery. Some boutiques and finer stores with wrap and ship directly to the recipient. These services save time and money.
Start your shopping early. October and November are a good time to buy the thoughtful little gifts for the paper boy, your neighbor, hair stylist, and anyone else not on your main shopping list. (If you wait until December that great price on specialty coffee, tea, or chocolates tend to increase.) A gift is always more thoughtful than a gift card. A recent poll shows gift cards are often lost or misplaced resulting in a staggering windfall to the store and a let down to the recipient.
Mail parcels early to avoid the long line ups; especially this year with Canada Post on rotating strikes. Parcels are most affected by the strike action. Buy and wrap gifts that need to be shipped first.
These tips help you avoid last minute impulse buying, overspending, or finding the store is out of stock and settling for something that wasn't on the wish list. Hopefully you can avoid the Scrooge-like shoppers. I was once scolded by a grumpy shopper for absently humming along to a Christmas song while waiting in a long line up. Thankfully a few spirited shoppers came to my defense. (I know I can't sing. That's why I was humming. And who doesn't like 'Little Drummer Boy'?)
Parties
If you absolutely can't avoid a specific party or event when you are in the midst of PMS, pamper yourself beforehand. Splurge on a manicure, pedicure, facial or massage. Not in the budget? Relax in a calming aromatherapy bath. You can purchase a single use packet of high quality Lavender bath salts at any beauty counter for a few bucks. A cheerful demeanor may be hard to maintain but necessary to navigate certain obligations—even if you don't have PMS. (Oh, the dreaded office party or extended family potluck.)
Boost your mood with your usual PMS-fighting snacks or a small meal before the party. An herbal supplement like Kava or Valerian is also beneficial. Christmas parties are traditionally full of unhealthy yet tasty food and pastries. Don't attend a party during PMS on an empty stomach. The temptation is simply too great. Have a turkey and cranberry relish sandwich on whole grain bread an hour before the party. During the party avoid the foods that trigger or exacerbate your PMS symptoms, primarily sugar, which is present in all baked goods. Look for crudities, olive and pickle plates and fresh fruit platters.
Arrive as late as politely possible and have a plan to leave early without drawing attention or hurting the host's feelings. This strategy reduces the likelihood of having an inopportune PMS moment midway through the party. (You're tired and crampy but the guy from accounting with two left feet drags you onto the dance floor.)
Nix the alcohol. It exacerbates the emotional symptoms of PMS and PMDD. Opt for sparkling water with a twist of lime and everyone will assume you're drinking right along with them. Smile. Often.
Home Entertaining
Thoughtful planning is essential. Do not plan a dinner or cocktail party for a night when you will be in the midst of your PMS cycle. Trust me on this. One year I enthusiastically sent out 12 lovely hand made invitations for a Boxing Day Open House. I mailed the invites in mid November. It was an RSVP, timed drop-in invite. I planned two festive cocktails and hot and cold finger food. The entire event was to take place between 1:00 to 4:00 pm. I envisioned a simple, informal gathering. A "Drop by for a little festive cheer while you're making your boxing day rounds" kind of thing. I planned this without checking my December PMS cycle. (Of course I know better.)
Come Boxing Day 38 people showed up by 1:30. Seems some people assumed it was okay to bring their guests along. It was no surprise that the offenders hadn't bothered to RSVP. Eight guests observed the invite. The rest hunkered down and stayed well into the night. There I was—with a house full of hungry, thirsty revelers—and I, deep in the clutches of PMDD turmoil. Fortunately I had left-overs from Christmas dinner, which I scrambled to reheat after they devoured all the appetizers. I managed to put together an impromptu buffet spread and made a stock pot of hot mulled wine. I fed them in shifts as I hurried to rewash the china and cutlery. (I have setting for eight.) The last guests filtered out at 10:00 pm.
I am still amazed that I survived the sheer chaos of that event. To this day I experience a twitch in my right eye whenever I'm reminded of that painfully long and frantic Boxing Day fiasco. (Let this be a stark example of why the Christmas calendar, with PMS cycle noted, is truly a sanity savior.)
Now, if you're still thinking of hosting a holiday get together, think simple but festive: the intimate cocktail party. I love this style of entertaining. It suits a small gathering of friends who like to dress up and mingle, who appreciate fine food and libations. Set the tone with bougets of fresh flowers and fragrant greens. Place scented pillar candles everywhere. Jazz music in the background. Soft lighting. Cocktails and appetizers are the offering on this night.
Two signature cocktails, premium hi-balls and finger food is lovely. Always offer sparkling water with a twist as an alcohol-free option. Serve hot and cold appetizers along with an assortment of mini baked goods and homemade chocolates. Prep the hot appies so they just need to be heated. Don't overextend yourself. Tonight is all about enjoy the company you're in.. You've gathered together to share in the beauty of the season. Relax and enjoy the evening.
If you decide to host a dinner party, keep it small and intimate or consider buffet style for an informal party. The latter creates a relaxed entertaining style and affords you more time with your guests and less fussing in the kitchen. A well decorated buffet table and a candlelit dining table, complete with a festive floral arrangement is always inviting. More importantly, its fun, simple, and you'll look like a pro if you take some tips from the proliferation of Christmas decorating ideas in magazines and online.
Choose a menu that can be prepped ahead of time. Remember, PMS, and especially PMDD, can make you lethargic, emotionally fragile, disorganized and easily stressed. Make sure you plan your party for the happy, energetic post-PMS time of the month. You don't want to be preparing and serving a menu filled with extravagant dishes to eight hungry people while in the throes of PMS. (Yes, I did that, too. I'd like to say it was all in the name of research but who am I kidding?)
Potluck is favored by many women. While this is considered acceptable etiquette, I've never been a fan of this style, but it's a personal choice. I prefer that my guests relax, enjoy good food, festive libations, and good company. I don't expect them to participate in the cooking and preparations. It's nice if they reciprocate an invite though.
If you go the potluck route be specific in which dish you assign each person. You don't want to end up with four potato salads or three jellied salads. I've seen that happen at many a potluck.
I once attended a summer potluck where the host had recently purchased a $15000. dining room set. The hosts started drinking a little too early. He forgot to defrost the steaks, she forgot to bake the potatoes, and all the guests brought a potato salad. (She asked me to bring a potato salad as they enjoyed my version.) At 8:30 she put out the three potato salads, tossed a tub of margarine on the polished table next to the undercooked potatoes, and in the absence of grilled steaks (or any protein), dinner was served. We stopped for a burger on the way home.
Let the Preparations Become Part of the Festivities
Light some scented candles and listen to your favorite holiday music while you wrap gifts, bake, decorate, address cards, trim the tree—basically any holiday preparation is enhanced when you set a festive mood. Make some hot chocolate for the kids and eggnog for the grown ups and decorate the tree. Remember to check your calendar to avoid scheduling preparations in the midst of your premenstrual cycle. If it can't be avoided, set a mellow mood and make the best of it You may just find yourself signing along with Nat King Cole. (You can sing out loud in the comfort of your own home.)
You know that your PMS cycle will occur sometime during the festive season. It makes sense to know exactly when. Always chart your cycle. Get in the habit of making this a common practice all year long.
Proactive planning will alleviate undue stress and anxiety over the holidays. Should you find yourself deep in the throes of PMS or PMDD when faced with a holiday invite, always remember that it is Okay to bow out gracefully. Sometimes, a peaceful night at home is the best remedy. Plug in the tree lights, pop some corn, and watch National Lampoon's Christmas. This classic is sure to improve your mood.
Come Christmas Eve—regardless of what you've done, or not, to prepare—you need to simply breathe, relax and enjoy all the moments that make Christmas special. The true beauty of the season is reflected in the magical blend of friends and family, love and laughter. May you always enjoy the timeless beauty of the season.
Wishing you a very merry Christmas and a healthy, happy new year!
Deborah Robbins
