01/02/2023
Co-Parent Communication
You may not be ‘together’ anymore, but you still have to communicate with your co-parent. Whether it’s exchanging the kids for parenting time, discussing the latest dentist appointment, or just updating each other on what’s going on in the kids’ lives, communication is key.
The most basic are being able to call, text or email each other. You can even set up a shared calendar where you can both see everything related to the children. These can be shared with other caregivers or family members as required.
If regular phone calls, emails or text messages aren’t working for you, there are options out there to assist co-parents communicate what they need to. Many of these services offer messaging features, along with a calendar so you and your co-parent can stay on top of appointments and extra-curricular activities. Some options include Our Family Wizard, TalkingParents and ComeToAgreement. There are others out there. Most of them have a cost associated with them.
What service you use to communicate with your co-parent is one thing – the other is the actual flow of information. This needs to be done in a respectful manner. It is not productive to constantly be at odds with your co-parent. If this is a worry for you, I suggest you take a look at how to write BIFF responses. You can see a quick overview here:
https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/hci-articles/how-to-write-a-biff-response
Bill Eddy from the High Conflict Institute has written all about BIFF responses. He has published a book specifically on writing them with your co-parent which may be useful for you to read.
Co-parent communication can be considered during family mediation. You and your co-parent can discuss the parameters of how you would both like to communicate and agree to some guidelines moving forward. This will hopefully reduce conflict in the future.
Whitaker Mediation Ltd. offers family mediation, as well as coaching services that could assist you with your co-parent communication. Please contact us to see if we would be a good fit to help you and your family.
