03/03/2026
Picture this...you're standing by the lake when you hear shouting. You see a person's head bobbing in the water as they thrash, clearly in distress. On the shore a group of people is shouting at them.
"You can do it!"
"You're so strong!"
"Just swim to shore!"
And yet, not one person is getting a life preserver to throw to them or getting trained professionals to save the person.
That person is likely very competent in many areas of their life...but, in this instance, something happened that caused them to be in a situation that is literally drowning them and cannot get out alive on their own.
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Now...picture this...
A person has just experienced a life-altering abrupt trauma. They are thrashing through loss and grief and pain. Every breath is another moment of dealing with "after".
And people say to them...
"At least you're still alive."
"You are so strong!"
"You need to do more self-care."
And yet, not one person steps in to support with "basic" tasks or sits with listening ears to hear the reality of that person's current experience.
That person is likely very competent in many areas of their life...but, in this instance, something happened that caused them to be in a situation that is figuratively drowning them and cannot get out of alive on their own.
Sometimes, there are situations where being independent is not an option. Sometimes we need others care because self-care isn't accessible.
And, sometimes, self-care doesn't look like bubble baths, long walks in nature, and hours out with friends. Sometimes it looks like sitting in the shower as the water runs and getting out again without ever scrubbing anything. Sometimes it looks like changing the hand towel for a clean one. Sometimes it looks like taking a sip of water when you really don't feel like it. Sometimes its simply changing your left sock.
Need more ways to tell people how much you're already doing for yourself when they tell you that you "should" be doing more? Read "The Adaptable Warrior: Attainable Victories for Even the Darkest Days" by Cherylyn (Cher) Tanner. It shows you how even the most subtle moments have bold potential benefits.
Cher
❤️💜💙
