Bee.In.Harmony

04/16/2026

When we say, "listen to autistic voices," we mean 2 things:

1) In the situation you are in, listen to the autistic voice in the room about their own experience,

and

2) When speaking in generalizations, listen to the voices of the Autistic community, which is a

very specific group of autistics who have

addressed their internalized ableism and have decided on

the neuroaffirming culture that represents the autistic community.

Many autistics and autism parents alike fail to realize that non-speakers are at the core of this Autistic community,

that they are at the core of how and why we address our internalized ableism.

This is where, "presume competence" comes from.

Non-speakers deserve to be checked in with,

in the format that they need, regularly, to ensure that their

consent is upheld throughout an interaction.

To avoid this is to void their consent:

"Yes means yes", means only an enthusiastic and knowledgable "Yes!" is valid for consent;

Anything else is NOT consent.

Everyone should have the right and opportunity to refuse or decline as part of their agency in making daily choices, providing input, and having dissenting opinions.

A refusal to communicate is also communication. It is crucial to teach students refusal strategies. It's equally important to honor a refusal. We need to ask ourselves why we often demand compliance from nonspeaking students when we wouldn’t do the same with their nondisabled peers.

How do you teach and honor refusal strategies to your nonspeaking students?

"My life has been full of situations when I have said “no” and the person has not listened, whether it was my mom, my sister, a teacher, or a friend. I am too often ignored because I cannot communicate traditionally. I instead have to rely on someone to stop and ask permission before I can say “no.”

Remember friends, just because I can’t say “no,” does not mean I want all the things. Please let me decide if I want a hug or that second helping at dinner. And remember that “ no means no,” not just for boys but for everyone."
- Nathan Chang, high school student

[image id: image shows a black and white photo of a high school boy, wearing headphones and smiling at the camera. Nathan's words from above are shared on the photo.]

04/15/2026

It's National ASL Day!!!

Signing is one of the communication methods human beings have NEVER let go of.

It includes gesturing, pointing, hand signals, body movements, and facial expressions, communications that continue to permeate verbal culture.

Even as verbal culture continues to dismiss it.
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"But Bee, what does signing allow people to do that verbal speaking doesn't?"

Here's just a short list that grows longer by the day of times when sign is incredibly helpful for ANYONE:

- in a loud room where you can't hear the other person

- in a quiet room where you don't want to disturb others

- when another conversation is happening and you don't want to distract from it

- when someone is sick

- across distances

- while eating

- when you need to have a private conversation, like for example at a doctor's office

- when you are in the process of developing verbal language, sign has been shown to help the language processing centers of the brain

- non-speakers and babies meltdown significantly less because their needs are being met as a result of using sign language to communicate

- under water

- when you're out in the snow / wind / cold

- through glass walls while being in different rooms / vehicles

- when you don't want to disturb a 3rd person who may be sleeping or going through something
.. And of course, to communicate with everyone who prefers non-speaking communication.

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Non-speakers may find verbal communication exhausting, painful, or difficult,

either physically in their body

and/or mentally as their brain labors to complete the needed tasks to make speech or listening occur:

- verbal dyspraxia or apraxia
- autistic
- situational mutism
- sensory processing disorder
- older people
- babies
- deaf people
- hard of hearing people

Again, this is just a short list, certainly not exhaustive.

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"So Bee, if signing is so good, why does it feel like there's such a taboo when it comes to learning sign?"

In a nutshell:

Ableism.

Lack of communication.

Lack of addressing internalized ableism.

Lack of respecting non-speaking communities.

Appropriation - signing without ethical follow-through.

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"Who has the ultimate say in what is ethical and unethical?"

The Deaf Community.

Deaf people who are not only Deaf,

but who have done the work to address internalized ableism,

who have developed ASL as their principal form of communication

and built their culture around the needs of the language.

Note: not every deaf person is in the Deaf community, and not every member of the Deaf community is deaf;

Anyone who upholds the

culture,
language,
anti-ableism,
and history

of the community belongs in and represents the Deaf community.

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"How does the Deaf community see people who want to learn sign?"

First, they love it.

They only ask that you respect their culture by doing more than "just using hand symbols" and calling it a day:

- practice being a safe space for Deaf people, which means centering Deaf voices and decentering hearing voices

- also includes prioritizing the understanding of deaf people over hearing people in Deaf spaces and even better if in hearing spaces

- embrace the culture behind signing as enthusiastically as people embrace the language

- embrace the language fully - don't stop just because you've learned a couple curse words, give it a real go!

This includes observing ALL components of the language:

handshape,
palm orientation,
movement,
location, and
expression/non-manual signals.

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What I Mean by "Embrace the Language Fully"

if you are going to practice

Signed Exact English - which is actually based off English, word for word and letter for letter - or

Pidgin Signed English - which is based off of SEE and seeks to drop some of the syntax of English -

then you need to be honest about the language you are using;

it's okay that you are not using ASL, PSE and SEE may be more accessible for a wide variety of reasons,

but don't seek to spread a language you're not actually using

or spread a language unethically by taking up the position a Deaf person could fill.

This is why I don't teach ASL by the way and WILL NEVER;

that is not my space to take.

If you ever see a video of me signing, at most I will explain my thought process of a sign,

and ALWAYS with the caveat to NOT learn from me and go with your preferred Deaf instructor's advice every time.

A final note here: if you use SEE or PSE, you will need to accept that you will not be able to communicate with people who are using ASL or Black ASL,

which are NOT based on English AT ALL.

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"But Bee, of course it's based off English, we use English words and phrases and we just translate them into signs?"

This is precisely the problem with teaching ASL in classrooms where people are allowed to verbally communicate;

it creates the misconception that ASL is just a non-speaking version of English when in reality it has its own

- euphemisms
- behaviors
- expressions
- nuances
- etiquette

To drive the point home:

You could reach ASL in German.

You could teach ASL in Chinese.

It wouldn't change the reality that the ASL syntax and gloss DOESN'T have a fully perfect translation into another language.

__________________

Curious where to get started with ASL specifically?

Before I list resources, remember that signs are chosen based on region,

so you want an instructor who is going to acknowledge

ALL variations of a sign so you're aware when you interact with signers in your area.

If you select your own teacher / instructor / app, be sure to learn from Deaf content creators,

for ethical reasons and for proper immersion into Deaf culture;

you can't learn the language without learning the culture, they go hand in hand!

__________________

RESOURCES:

Bill Vicars runs lifeprint.com and has videos up on YouTube;

his sessions include lots of repetitive practice, hilarious interactions right from the beginning, and fantastic engagement.
https://youtu.be/DaMjr4AfYA0?si=hcGK9qWWpswVTq85

The Oklahoma School for the Deaf has a free online level 1 and level 2 course you can sign up for using only your email address.

I particularly like their cultural notes so you can understand better about the Deaf community and ableism that exists in our world.

Jason Gervase - ASL Pinnacle also offers lessons

and is another great content creator to follow for providing

engagement,
nuance,
and immersion.

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I'll include tips in the comments for those learning sign;

feel free to ask questions.

Happy signing!!!

04/15/2026

[Image of wispy clouds behind black text that reads: Wednesday Affirmations; the way your autism presents is valid; You deserve support no matter how much or how little you are impacted; you are worthy of love, acceptance, and support, even when the world seeks to devalue you.]

04/13/2026

It's Masking Monday!! If you've already seen one from me today, that's on me...

I was experiencing autistic inertia this week for research and reports and my brain forgot to use urgency through panic last night into editing today's.

Oh the irony.

Anyway, we're doing a 7-Part series here on defense coping mechanisms and including each previous section in the part below so if you missed the previous post you can get caught up.

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READ PART 1:

***DISCLAIMER / WHAT IS A DEFENSE MECHANISM / DEFENSE MECHANISM #1: LYING***

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1N8tnKiBaE/
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READ PART 2:

***DEFENSE MECHANISM #2: PATHOLOGICAL DEMAND AVOIDANCE***

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/18462qjPC9/
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READ PART 3:

***DEFENSE MECHANISM #3: SELECTIVE MUTISM***

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1DwuxqjEG8/
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READ PART 4:

DEFENSE MECHANISM #4: ELOPING

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1AuSvrzise/
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READ PART 5:

DEFENSE MECHANISM #5: PHYSICAL ENTANGLEMENT

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1N7nz758Hv/

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DEFENSE MECHANISM #6: NEURODIVERGENT INERTIA

***WARNING***

This topic is currently at the forefront of exploration by actual autistics who are in the research community; the following thoughts are in collaboration with two other researchers and should be treated as theorized rather than necessarily concrete.

Reader discretion is advised.
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What IS Neurodivergent Inertia?

This is something every autistic and ADHDer can relate to, and yet it has been impossible to find the words in a world that doesn't yet have the terminology.

We 100% know what it feels like:

"I must DO the thing, but my body won't let me."

But where does it come from?

Do people experience it differently?

How does it connect to our nervous system?

Do other neurodivergents experience it? To the same degree?

As an aside for ADHDers, the term we see in the community is task paralysis, or ADHD Paralysis. Is THAT the same as autistic inertia?
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The Theory We've Explored So Far as Autistic Inertia

In our sympathetic nervous system which is affected by instinct responses,

it would most likely fall under freeze, and is described by many as disassociation.

For this reason, I'm most inclined to place it under a depressive trauma response...

But is the answer really that simple?
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What Does a Typical Inertia Moment Look Like?

From the outside, it looks like a person who is unwilling to get up

- a lazy person

- someone who just won't try

- someone who is busy doomscrolling on their phone
.. insert every stereotype you can think of.

This is of course based on false assumptions,

both from neurotypicals and from the autistics who internalized from them.

On the inside,

Inertia looks like a person who is struggling with the fight internally,

constantly torn between telling themselves the task they need to do

screaming at their body to get up and move...

but there's almost an oppressive presence keeping them locked in,

a heavy blanket forcing you to not move a muscle

until some basic need like washroom or food compels you more strongly than the weight.

People who frequently experience depression and disassociation will most likely also identify with this experience.
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Where Does Autistic Inertia Come From?

A BEE Theory:

Autistics have learned that the world will not wait for us and demands we move more and faster than we're ready to,

so much so that we internalize the idea that we are lazy if we are in rest.

We take this so literally that we failed to realize that neurotypicals DO in fact rest,

that when neurotypicals say, "Give it your 100%,"

We thought it meant give 100% of your total energy and devote it to this one task

(not "Give this task the 100% that you have to give to it while saving energy for other things).

As a result autistics take this inability to invest 100%, 100% of the time, to heart;

we feel so incredibly guilty, we develop a deep internal sense of shame for existing and wanting desperately to advocate for our need to pause.

The reality is that human beings are not supposed to move so fast and do so much,

and for neurodivergents who simply can't hide it,

we shut down even more frequently,

caught in what looks like a freeze

but is actually an internal tug of war,

a fight between the external demand to push and our internal demand to rest by pausing.

For this reason it could also be considered an anxiety trauma response, not just a depressive one.
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Compounding Inertia and Trauma

Experiencing a life of being gaslit by others about our internal experiences

- our sensory experiences,

our need to move at our own pace, whether that's slower (autistics) or faster (ADHDers),

our need to process deeper (autistics) or sporadically (ADHDers),

our need to communicate exploratively (autistics) or excitedly (ADHDers),

our need to rest by withdrawing (autistics) or by engaging in interests (ADHDers) -

means we shut down hard.

We spend years or even decades

gaslighting ourselves with the very phrases we grew up hearing from our parents,

who let's be honest, are most likely neurodivergent themselves,

who have ALSO

spent decades gaslighting themselves through life.

It is my personal opinion that researchers in the future need to focus on

Neurodivergent Generational Trauma

just as much as they focus on neurodivergents,

to perhaps worry a bit less on where neurodivergence comes from

and worry more about the effects being ignored about our reality have on our quality of life.
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How do We Resolve Autistic Inertia?

For myself, it's about recognizing that there is a reason my body is shutting down.

In many cases, I CAN'T do the push,

not without extreme consequences such as:

- becoming incredibly dysregulating and melting down more frequently

- extreme muscle tension that leads to total body exhaustion

- exhausting my brain to the point language becomes incredibly muddled and disappears

- stroke-like symptoms from a body migraine, including buzzing arm, pounding heart, concentrated headache behind one eye, slurred or non-existent speech, facial paralysis

It's SCARY, for me and the people around me.

And,

call me crazy,

I deserve to go through life in a way that doesn't physically or mentally hurt me.
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So instead, I stop fighting.

I give in to the rest my body clearly demands,

even if my brain won't give my autism the rest it needs because ADHD demands it needs to ping-pong still.

So I decrease the amount of demand for my brain,

rather than demanding it stop completely:

- some visual and audible stimuli but is predictable (usually a form of a nostalgia TV show)

- recognizing I am in inertia - usually happens after anywhere from 1-3 hours of mental health engagement on social media - and chucking my phone away from me

- having crafts, board games, or puzzles close by and already set up so I can feel the pull for creativity (yes, the demand can feel too much sometimes, so I'll put them away or swap them out which eases that sensation)

In total honesty, I surrender to the moment.

I stop beating myself up for it,

stop injecting myself with cortisol via anxiety to push myself to do things,

and instead accept that this moment...

Isn't it.
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I trust from having gone through this process that whether it takes

a few days,
a few weeks,
or a few months,

I WILL experience a freeing in my brain, a lightness in my body,

where I will feel BEYOND motivated

to get that task done.

And when I do,

it will be so incredibly important to use neuroaffirming techniques to manage it:

- using body doubles - loved ones or other neurodivergents who will come help on the task or even just sit with you while you do it

- using parallel work - loved ones or other neurodivergents will be in the room completing their work while I complete mine

- breaking the work down into smaller pieces

- celebrating with rewards DURING the work rather than after - ADHD + delayed gratification is a recipe for disaster

- finding ways to work with my ADHD through it by using novelty, passion, interest, or gamifying, rather than urgency
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Defense mechanisms are here to protect us, but are they always serving us?

Sometimes yes. Often times no.

Who can say?

Only you.

Does it serve you in the person you want to be?

Is your defense mechanism in alignment with the subconscious mindsets you have influencing your decision-making processes?

If not, then it may be time to:

- rewire your mindsets

- find healthier coping mechanisms

- develop your support network to be neuroaffirming
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As always, take some time to sit with these,

really absorb what this defense mechanism is trying to say to you,

and ask yourself:

What are your

social
processing
communicative
sensory

needs, and how can you do a good job of getting them met?
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If you are a parent of a neurodivergent - autistic or ADHDer particularly - who is looking for advice, scroll to the 3rd last section of Part 1:

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1N8tnKiBaE/
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If you are a loved one of a neurodivergent - again, particularly autistic or ADHDer - who is looking for knowledge on how to support, scroll to the 2nd last section of Part 1:

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1N8tnKiBaE/

04/12/2026

It's Social Sunday!!! Share a story, ask advice from other commenters, or just check-in and say hi!

We're talking neurodivergent needs - sensory chapter!

04/10/2026

It's F**k-It Friday!!!! What social norms do you swear off?

Me? My plans.

I had plans to go pick up a book for a client, then go to grocery store 1 where the food is cheaper but less available, and then go to grocery store 2 where food is more expensive but more available, before dropping my partner off at home and continuing on to clients.

Ha.

Sleep has said otherwise.

So I checked and I do have a spare copy of the book, and we're down to the first grocery store only because they close after 9pm 🙄

I WILL abandon plans or partial plans if s**t doesn't work out;

My comfort and my need for transition times is more important than getting every little thing done in a day.

What are your coping mechanisms?

04/09/2026

It's been a hot minute since I've discussed our needs as neurodivergents and really outlined what they are.

(TBH, a lot of time I write content here for the purposes of sharing, and I can't remember where I put the last one. Sorting through 100 posts and still not seeing it = ADHD impulsivity "let's make one!!")

TL/DR: We're talking about social, communicative, processing, and sensory needs. Line breaks to help people jump!!

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What ARE neurodivergent needs?

Well, they're the same as every other human being's needs...

Except where neurotypicals can ignore some of them or for some time...

We can't.

Because every neurodivergent is different from the next,

there are also some of them that impact us less while impacting others more.

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A BEE Theory:

The key difference is that neurodivergents have a specific group of needs potentially dialed up to say 6 to 8 out of 10

while neurotypicals have all their needs sitting at about a 4 to 6.

When any human beings has their nervous system activated

- aka becomes stressed or dysregulated -

their neurodivergent needs spike upward.

For neurodivergents, that means a 6-8 may become an 8-10,

while for neurotypicals it may be a 4-6 becomes a 6-8, and at 10, neuronormative society sees the person as having a total breakdown and therefore needing extreme intervention 🙃

Yay for neuronormative perspective. Thanks for making it that we "should" be defined by your ability to play pretend. 🫩

But I digress.
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So What Are These Neurodivergent - aka Human - Needs?

I place them under 4 categories, in no particular order:

Sensory
Communicative
Processing
Social

"That's so general Bee!! Most human needs would fall under multiple categories!"

Yep. That's the point.

You have to look at the internal experience of a person...
..and take their word for it.

And when you can't receive their communication of their experience...
..you have to be open to experimenting and carefully observing whether there are ANY potential drawbacks.

Talking to the people who actually belong to the neurodivergent community is more important than making your own deductions, by the way.

Okay Bee, no more preaching.
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Sensory Needs.

The need to engage or disengage in sensory experiences.

What are the senses?

- vestibular
- proprioceptive
- interoceptive
- thermoceptive
- nociceptive
- touch
- smell
- sound
- taste
- sight

Arguably the first 5 internal sensations COULD bear some resonance to the others,

but making the distinction between internal and external senses is important for making sure we cover ALL the bases.

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This post is already long so I'll just include examples for today, but will definitely talk about these in detail at our Social Sunday online chat this Sunday @ 5:30pm EST!!

"The whirring lights are overwhelming, but I love the coasters that throw my body around."

"The taste of hotdogs are yummy but the smell of hamburgers make me nauseous."

"I hate the feeling of warm liquids going to my stomach, but I love the taste and feel of hot chocolate in my mouth. If it burns me I hate the pain, but the rough texture afterward feels grainy and comforting against the roof of my mouth."

"I love looking at the net and sending the soccer ball where it needs to go, but I hate the distracting sound when people encourage me in the moment."

The list goes on of experiences that can't be labeled as positive or negative because of the high sensitivity many neurodivergents may experience.
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Communicative Needs.

Not "what do other people need from me to be able to understand me,"

but

"what do I need for my own comfort in communication?"

What are the communication styles that exist?

LOW-TECH AAC:
- blinking / looking
- reactive behaviors
- pointing
- gesturing
- signing

MID-TECH AAC:
- poster boards
- spelling board

HIGH-TECH AAC:
- texting
- AAC programs

NON-AAC:
- gestalt
- echolalia
- verbal language
..and pretty much anything else that involves interacting with the outside world.

The communication style a person is drawn towards depends on many factors, including:

- sensory avoiding or seeking
- physical disability
- intellectual disability
- developmental disability
- hybrid neurodivergences

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For myself, pointing is the most comfortable method for me. Ideally not communicating is still more comfortable, but if I have to communicate, then pointing.

Unfortunately, it's difficult for people to empathetically let alone enthusiastically engage in charades with me, and there is a reality of urgent situations.

So signing is my next comfort, and it's realistic for communicating with loved ones.

For ethical reasons, I am working to engage in full ASL, and also... It does soothe my nervous system to sign, stimulating my vagus nerve.

For interacting with the outside world, like you lovely folks, many people don't know sign

- to their detriment I might add -

so I accommodate with text. This is among the most uncomfortable because it involves my language processing center in a way that forces it to work overtime.

Still not as bad as verbally speaking 😖

It's laughable because I spent years HIGHLY MASKING.

Not just masking, THROWING myself into pain through music and language instruction and performance!!!

What?! Talk about nociception combined with PDA 🤣😮‍💨

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Processing Needs

It answers the question, "what do I need in order to be able to understand the world around me?"

What are some processing needs that exist?

- communication speed: delivery
- communication speed: receiving
- physical / motor engagement
- spatial
- audible
- visual
..just to list a couple.
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"Processing Needs" is one of the areas I am still thoroughly exploring myself, and at this time I direct you to other neurodivergent content creators who have more thoroughly explored this subject AND many others:

The Occuplaytional Therapist

Neurodivergent Parenting: Think Outside The Box

In the meantime, here are some examples to help you get started with understanding this aspect:

"I can't hear the tv over the sound of the wiring in the walls, so I'll blast the sound way louder."

"I can't hear all the sound you make when you speak, can you please move your lips more firmly so I can read them?"

"Sound is garbled and I only hear every 3rd word, let's text or sign instead so I can pick up on what you're communicating."

"I can't see the subtitles, so I prefer to see a movie in theatres where I can hear all the little sounds better."

"I can't follow all the movements you're showing me to do in dance class; can I video your feet so I can take time to study them at my speed later?"

"I can't read the music as fast; can we write down the letters so I can follow along faster?"

Particularly in a society that doesn't care that it moves way too fast or slowly for different people, self-advocation like this is important.

And what do you do when that advocation is ignored or dismissed?

You set boundaries and follow-through.
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Social Needs.

A BEE Theory:

It's a vague and overarching idea, especially because these needs get met THROUGH the other needs being met by self AND by others:

- to be loved
- to feel connected
- to be understood
- to be celebrated
- to experience self-comfort
- to not be overwhelmed
- to experience being human
- to experience individuality
- to experience collectivism

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Example Time!

Autistics were - still sometimes are! - thought to be antisocial, to thrive on individuality and their apparent lack of empathy drove this...

No, a dismissal of the internal experience drove this theory.

Autistics in fact crave connection and have hyper cognitive empathy.

When we do seek isolation, it's because we are also overwhelmed by connection that is not delivered in a way that meets ALL our neurodivergent needs,

so we simply need to meet our needs in our way.

In fact most neurodivergent groups have had their internal experiences discounted,

and as a result they continue to face persecution in research that confirms its own biases which then shape neuronormative society's perspectives through uninformed education and bigotry.
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So what are YOUR neurodivergent- *ahem - HUMAN needs?

Even more importantly, how can you get them met in a way that is healthy and authentic to the person you want to be?

04/08/2026

04/07/2026

The Autistic Community.

Not every autistic speaks for it.

Not every member of the community is autistic.

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What is the autistic community?

A group of individuals who have done the work to address their internalized ableism

and who uphold a core group of ideologies based on anti-ableist beliefs.

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What are the ideologies of the autistic community?

- using identity first language and rejecting person first language

- using the gold infinity symbol for autism (or rainbow infinity symbol for neurodiversity) and rejecting the puzzle piece

- rejecting assimilation and erasure by rejecting companies and therapies that promote them (this is why we hate ABA and Autism Speaks)

- continuously evolving towards neuroaffirming practices and mindsets

These are just the basics and they each have enough material for a full post on their own;

feel free to ask for more in the comments.

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How do these ideologies get made?

The reality is that every person on the planet has internalized ableism;

it can't be helped,

we're regularly surrounded by a hyperindividualized capitalistic environment that endorses financial productivity over being human.

People in the autistic community regularly sit with themselves and with each other

- literally, we have meetings -

to discuss our own internalized ableism, and to go over

the history
the language
the psychology

of ourselves and people around us to understand what we do and don't want to represent ourselves.
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Why do some autistics not uphold the same ideologies?

A wide variety of factors including

- age of realization - too young and you don't know better & are heavily influenced by others - too old and you have decades of internalized ableism to address

- ability to address internalized ableism, which can include cognitive ability

- impact of surrounding loved ones who have or haven't addressed their own internalized ableism

- assimilation & erasurist influence that comes from parents, educators, and medical professionals

It doesn't mean these autistics don't deserve support by the way,

it just means that they don't represent the community's interests.

You can still ask for help from the community,

and you can still create your own community / join the autism community...

It just means you're not a part of the autistic community.

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"But Bee, what about autistics who agree with some but not all of those principles?"

That's absolutely their choice.

It doesn't take away from your autism to reject these ideologies;

it just means you don't speak for the community.

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"But Bee, what about parents who speak for their nonverbal kids who can't advocate for themselves?"

Well first, the term is NON-SPEAKING:

the non-speaking community exists, and decided for itself this social term because of how much allistics were abusing the term "nonverbal" to mean "unintelligent / non-communicative."

Second, parents have a responsibility to do the work that adult autistics have to do;

to properly advocate for their child by addressing their internalized ableism.

This is incredibly difficult when the only information the parent has had access to are the ableist medical and educational fields,

which means they sadly often double down on their ableist perceptions.

Then there's also the reality that many non-speakers...

are absolutely capable of self-advocation in non-speaking communication styles...

but they are being overridden by loved ones who limit them,

who don't see their non-speaking communication as valid and who insist on moving their child towards speaking

regardless of the costs the autistic community warns them about.

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As an aside,

even once a non-speaker is able to finally be "heard" by their loved ones,

that non-speaker is moved by ableist people across the invisible line from "too autistic to function" to "too able-bodied to be able to speak for nonverbals."

There are maaaaany reasons why people may be non-speaking,

and the autistic community sees it that the non-speakers are the best ones to speak for the non-speakers,

not their loved ones.

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Unfortunately when autism parents - parents who take on their kid's autism as their own identity -

are notified about their internalized ableism,

they take extreme offense rather than doing the work.

They don't realize:

you can have ableist thoughts and NOT be an ableist.

Being an ableist is directly related to your willingness to address your internalized ableism and grow.

You're ALLOWED to be wrong; it really only matters that you self-correct.