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Stephanie Underwood RSW

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Montreal, QC
Stephanie Underwood RSW

Let's journey together. I believe one of the bravest and most powerful thing you can do is begin to understand your own story.

Trauma and Attachment Researcher & Clinician
Rewriting relational patterns through nervous system safety and schema change

Healing begins with a safe space to be authentic. Healing begins when we recognize the nature of trauma and understand its impacts. Visit my website and if it resonates with you, schedule a 30-minute, no obligation phone consultation.

01/03/2026

There are different types of schemas. There are basic cognitive schemas, which help your brain organize information and make sense of the world.

And then there are Early Maladaptive Schemas. These are survival-based relational templates formed when core emotional needs weren’t met.

Both shape how we interpret reality. Only one is charged with pain, protection, and nervous system responses.

We can’t logic our way out of a survival adaptation. We have to work with the nervous system and the relational meaning underneath it.

01/01/2026

Early Maladaptive Schemas aren’t talked about nearly enough. Which is why I’ll be taking a deep dive into each schema this month of January.

Schemas are the deeply held core beliefs that activate our attachment system. Attachment styles themselves are not the root problem, they are coping strategies. Schemas sit underneath them. They shape how we see ourselves, how we interpret others, and how we make sense of the world.

Until these schemas are identified and addressed, real healing is limited, because you are trying to change behaviors without touching the lens through which everything is filtered.

There are 18 early maladaptive schemas.
They aren’t personality traits or diagnoses.
They’re adaptive responses that once made sense.

Understanding your schemas isn’t about blaming your past. It’s about finally making sense of your present. This is where real, lasting change starts.

*** Just to clarify for anyone reading: I’m referring specifically to early maladaptive schemas as conceptualized in schema therapy, NOT cognitive schemas in educational or learning theory.

In this clinical context, schemas develop in response to unmet emotional needs and early relational experiences and are closely tied to attachment patterns. Trauma is one pathway, but not the only one. This page focuses on clinical application, not broad cognitive theory. ***

12/29/2025

Avoidant attachment is often misunderstood as emotional distance or lack of interest in connection. In reality, it reflects a nervous system that learned to prioritize autonomy and safety in response to early relational experiences.

Animals are sometimes experienced as soothing because they offer presence without social pressure or emotional demand. However, this sense of safety depends on regulation, not on the animal itself.

Avoidant individuals tend to respond best to connection that is calm, respectful, and non-intrusive whether that connection is with people or animals.

12/21/2025

** Edited: To be very clear, this post is not about autistic people “not having trauma.” Autistic people can experience trauma. That’s not even the question here. This post is about the growing tendency to label nervous system adaptations that develop in response to trauma as if they were inherently part of the of the autism diagnosis.

Trauma involves acquired nervous system adaptations from exposure to trauma. Autism is a neurodevelopmental diagnosis present from birth. Those distinctions matter clinically and conceptually.

Autistic individuals CAN develop trauma responses when exposed to trauma. When that happens, those reactions are trauma responses - not symptoms of autism itself.

12/15/2025

Anxious attachment often carries buried anger that never had a safe place to go. Years of pain that couldn’t be directed at the caregiver, so that pain and anger was buried.

But we know that when we don’t integrate it, it finds other outlets.

12/03/2025

Some individuals spend their entire lives trying to prove their worthiness to their parents, yearning for acknowledgment of love and acceptance.

Sadly, some spend their life's journey trying to 'fix' themselves, hoping to attain the love and acceptance they crave from their parents.

The issue is that they often fail to realize that there was never anything wrong with them to begin with.

11/26/2025

Growing up without emotional validation means you end up having to learn skills in adulthood that should have been nurtured in childhood. It’s not weakness - it’s literally rewiring your entire emotional foundation. Give yourself credit for every inch of progress. Healing isn’t linear, but it is happening.

11/21/2025

A helpful way to understand this is through a tree metaphor: our attachment system is the root structure, and our childhood environment is the soil those roots grow in.

When early relationships are consistent, responsive, and emotionally safe, the roots grow strong and stable, creating a foundation that supports resilience in adulthood. When the environment is unpredictable, emotionally unavailable, or overwhelming, the roots adapt for survival. Those adaptations influence how we handle closeness, stress, and connection later on.

Healing attachment isn’t about replacing the roots. It’s about gradually improving the soil and strengthening the tree over time. Through repeated experiences of safety, regulation, and supportive relationships, the attachment system becomes more secure. It’s a steady, lifelong process, not an instant shift or a temporary phase. But healing is possible, and it’s worth it.

11/20/2025

When we think of a toxic relationship, we often picture a relationship with a narcissist. However, toxic relationships can arise from interactions with individuals who exhibit a range of unhealthy behaviours or personality traits, not just those with narcissistic tendencies.

11/16/2025

People confuse the Fearful-Avoidant behavior with Dismissive-Avoidant behavior, and it’s creates a lot of confusion and finger pointing.

DA’s carry a deep-rooted shame wound - the last thing they need is to be blamed for traits that don’t even belong to their attachment style.

A Dismissive-Avoidant does not love bomb. And they’re definitely not running hot and cold. Their entire nervous system is built around emotional suppression and distance - intensity isn’t part of their pattern.

The more we understand the differences, the easier it becomes to stop repeating the same painful patterns and finally choose relationships that feel safe, steady, and reciprocal.

11/14/2025

I’ve always felt quite strongly about the importance of putting out research-based content on social media. I’ve always been driven by research and facts. Because I believe that people deserve reliable content they can trust. But social media is over saturated with Attachment and mental health misinformation, often by individual who claim to have expertise but actually don’t.

My hope is that posts like this can help people understand themselves with more compassion and less self-blame - and encourage people to explore the actual research behind attachment so they can feel grounded in what’s real, not what’s recycled online.

You deserve information that empowers you, not misleads you.

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Montreal, QC

Opening Hours

Tuesday	10am - 7pm
Wednesday	10am - 7pm
Thursday	10am - 7pm
Friday	10am - 6pm
Saturday	10am - 1pm

Telephone

+14388012529

Website

https://stephanieunderwoodrsw.janeapp.com/, http://www.healingnarrativescounselling.com/, https://hopp.bio/healingnarrat

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About Stephanie

I’m a professional, trauma-informed social worker, with the aim of becoming a benchmark for delivering quality, evidence-based, psychosocial services to residents of Quebec. Offering quality, evidence-based services and providing clients with an exceptional experience, is the very foundation of my professional social work practice.

I have more than half a decade of working in the mental health field providing evidence-based interventions and assessments. Today, I provide an early intervention component of helping people learn how to better manage symptoms of depression, anxiety, stress, and more.

For more than half a decade, I have helped to empower clients into achieving their desired goals. And now, I want to empower you.