02/11/2025
Healthy giving is also receiving, just like healthy receiving is also giving.
People pleasing will be motivated by shame, guilt, and fear. The motivation is to try to avoid these feelings and create some artificial sense of safety by tending to other people’s energy. However, it creates more shame, guilt and fear as well as deep layers of resentment in the long run, and harms our relationships.
The coping mechanism and program was created in childhood, to try to feel safer….being the people pleaser helped us feel safer back then so we continue. However, in the long run we feel exhausted, depleted and out of alignment with ourselves which creates dysfunctional relationships and health issues eventually.
Giving that does not come from a wound feels right and true - it feels light, expansive, and there is a knowing in your heart it is just the right thing to do and you also feel you receive by giving. You feel filled up with love as a result of your authentic generosity rather than depleted by artificial generosity.
I have personally been working through transforming my own people pleasing programming and have had a big breakthrough this year that completely changed my life from the inside out. It doesn’t mean I’m done, or that my life is perfect….but I feel more aligned and any dysfunctional relationships have or are falling away, and my strongest and healthiest connections are being strengthened.
If you need support navigating letting this programming go, I’m here! Send me a message and we can setup a free 20 min call to see if we are a fit to work together.
pleasing