13/02/2026
March 2019. A quiet afternoon.
I was driving back home after picking my daughter from a birthday party.
On the way, I stopped at a pharmacy.
Bought a pregnancy test kit.
Came home. Cooked. Sang a lullaby. Made her sleep.
And thenā¦
Two pink lines.
Joy.
Gratitude.
A miracle unfolding again.
Becoming a mother once more felt like a wish granted.
But some wishesā¦ are brief visitors.
April 2019.
Eight weeks into hope.
One evening ā pain.
Then bleeding.
Then the doctorās voice:
āIām sorry. The pregnancy wonāt survive.ā
There are sentences that divide your life into before and after.
That was one of them.
My heart was heavy.
Disbelief.
Anger at the Divine.
Why giveā¦ and then take away?
But I didnāt break.
Not yet.
Our family had organized a havan for the babyās well-being.
Only my husband and I knewā¦
This wasnāt a celebration.
It was a farewell.
I wore my favorite white and gold anarkali.
I did my makeup.
I smiled.
Inside ā I was breaking.
The contractions intensified.
He held my hand tightly.
His eyes said, We will face this together.
When the havan ended, I ate the prasad.
Knowing ā this is all I can offer my baby now.
At the hospital, the doctor asked:
āDo you want us to interveneā¦ or let it happen naturally?ā
With a strong voice I said,
āLet it happen naturally.ā
But insideā¦
I wanted to hold that tiny life inside me forever.
After hours of pain ā
not just physical ā but the pain of losing a part of yourselfā¦
The tiny life slipped away.
The room became quiet in a way I had never heard before.
And the physical pain left with it.
But an emptiness stayed.
My daughter looked at me ā confused, scared.
She had never seen me this way.
She could feel something had changed.
In that momentā¦
I learned the deepest LESSON OF PRESENCE.
I hugged her tighter than ever before.
Not clinging to what left ā
but honoring what remains.
That day, something changed.
On the surface, I was ānormal.ā
Inside, I carried unanswered questions.
Unresolved emotions.
A burning WHY.
For months, I searched for meaning.
I couldnāt live with just pain ā I needed understanding.
If I could not change what happened, I could transform what it created in me.
And that WHY became my mission.
The Garden of Love.
Where no flower ever truly dies.
Where fading is transformation.
Where consciousness reminds us ā
no one goes anywhere.
We meet again.
In another form.
Another dimension.
That loss awakened me to something bigger than me.
Because when youāve felt life slip through your body,
you understand something deeply:
What we all crave is PRESENCE.
To be held.
And to hold.
There is nothing more sacred.
For a long time, I carried this alone. But then what i learned from this experience was beautiful:
1) Nothing else matters, if what you craves is mere PRESENCE. Be fully here. Whatever is written in your destiny will unfold ā but donāt miss it by not being present. The real loss is not what leavesā¦ itās not living it while it was here.
2) GRATITUDE for what you have, for what you had, for what you receive, and And even for what is given and taken back.
Because even the briefest blessing leaves an imprint.
I learned that sometimes we are not meant to keep something forever ā
we are meant to experience it fully.
To hold it.
To feel it.
To love it.
And to let it go with faith.
Gratitude for what is mine.
Gratitude for what was mine.
Gratitude even for what was never meant to be mine.
Because if it came into my life ā even for a moment ā
it came with purpose.
And I was blessed to live that moment.
I donāt know who you are reading this.
But if you are carrying silent griefā¦
Unspoken lossā¦
Questions without answersā¦
I hold you.
And maybeā¦
without knowing it ā
you hold me too.
If you feel called to serveā¦
If you feel called to leadā¦
If you feel called to become light in someoneās darknessā¦
This is your place.
We donāt grow alone here.
We grow together.
Beyond Fear. Into Freedom.
From Loss. Into Consciousness.
From Pain. Into Purpose.
If you felt something shift while reading thisā¦
Comment: āI choose presence.ā
Or DM me PRESENCE
and step into a space where you are held ā
and learn how to become the one who holds.
Ruchi Mystic FlĆ¢neuse
Inner āIā Discovery & Body-Mind-Soul Alignment Coachš¤
