It’s my life

01/12/2026

01/12/2026

01/12/2026

06/11/2025

They ask me how I am doing.
I say I’m fine.
Because deep down, I don’t know..
I don’t know their names.
I don’t like their feelings.
They scare me.

They ask me what I need.
I say nothing.
Because deep down, I don’t know.
I don’t want to be a burden.
They have their own lives.
I don’t want to be selfish.

They ask me why I’m single.
I say I don’t know.
Because deep down, I know it’s me.
I push them away.
I sabotage myself.
So I am the first to leave.

I keep it to myself,
They wouldn’t want to hear it.
I keep it inside,
They wouldn’t understand.
Because I don’t,
So why would they?

I feel lost.
I feel like I am on the outside looking in.
Watching the days go by.
This is hard.
This brutal.
I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

06/11/2025

06/11/2025

A symptom of BPD that’s not talked about, is Dissociation.
It is a break in how your mind handles information. You may feel disconnected from your thoughts, feelings, memories, and surroundings. It can affect your sense of identity and your perception of time.
The symptoms can go away on their own. It may take hours, days, or weeks.

Symptoms of dissociative disorder can vary but may include: feeling disconnected from yourself and the world around you. forgetting about certain time periods, events and personal information. feeling uncertain about who you are.

I remember, as a child, when asked “What do you have to say for yourself?” Or “Do you have anything to say?” I would literally be paralyzed. I wouldn’t talk. I wouldn’t defend my self. I would stare and shrug my shoulders, as if I didn’t have any emotions.
Fast forward to today, I now realize was dissociative behaviour.
It was like I was outside my body, watching everything going on.
Like it was a movie.
I guess it was away to cope with stressful events. A way to escape persecution.

06/11/2025

I can so relate

06/11/2025

Unfortunately I do not think before I speak.

I just be as shocked as you are when I open my mouth.

06/11/2025

Part of healing, is too erase the negative thoughts. Remind yourself, you have the courage and strength to finally start loving yourself.