Passing in Peace

05/06/2025

Dr.'s advocating for classrooms to include Death Ed!

Dr. Kathy Kortez-Miller, Author and Assistant professor of Lakehead University's School of social work says "I think it's time we take death out of the closet... It's kind of our last taboo subject. And as educators and as Canadians in general, we have no choice about wether or not we will learn about death but we have some choice about how we learn about it."

"It is time." -Rafiki



See link for full article from April 2017
https://www.cbc.ca/radio/thecurrent/the-current-for-april-11-2017-1.4064410/why-an-icu-doctor-says-death-ed-is-as-essential-as-sex-ed-in-high-school-1.4064606

26/05/2025

An important piece about the physical changes during the dying process 👉 when death becomes imminent, the body no longer requires food or water to function efficiently. This can be a very difficult change for loved ones of the dying person to accept... rightfully so. But the body knows exactly how to die naturally, just like it knows how to be birthed.

Sometimes it helps family members to know that as the shut down process begins, food and water intake can actually hinder the natural process and cause some discomfort.

Listen to the signs and signals your transitioning loved one gives. If they are refusing to eat or drink it is ok to allow them that choice, no need to force something that is going against their instincts. This is sometimes reffered to as VSED, voluntary stopping of eating and drinking, which is very common and natural at the very end stages of life.

I wish my dad had known this during the passing of my little brother. For years after Bo's death Dad struggled with nightmares about the thought of Bo starving and dehydrating 💔 but neither caused him more suffering or ended his time here on this earth.

13/05/2025

Presenting a Grief Education Workshop tomorrow in Wiarton Salvation Army

This Wednesday is Senior's Lunch with a follow-up presentation that covers coping with grief.

RSVP at 519-534-0353. Thank you!

16/04/2025

April 16th is Advance Care Planning Day in Canada!

Do you know your end-of-life wishes?

Having grown up with little education around what death means and looks like, I found myself floundering in the reality of my first profound death experience. I have felt for years there has to be a better way to do death and grief.

Due to our North American culture shying away from the sacred topic of death, we often learn about it in real-time. This leaves us unprepared and, I believe, can lead to unnecessary grief trauma. The importance of death planning goes deeper than most realize.

Not only does planning ahead of time relieve excess stress for you when the time comes, but it also reduces stress for your loved ones having to make very difficult decisions on your behalf.

As daunting and intimidating as it can feel to get real about planning your end of life - death is inevitable. So it is your choice weather or not you want to prepare, giving some control over your dying stages and after-death care.

I have created an Advance Care Planning Workbook. This guide will help make the planning process easy and meaningful.

My workbook holds over 40 pages of fillable, digital documents of your personalized advance care plan.

A very difficult necessity made simple. Available for purchase at website www.passinginpeace.ca

04/01/2025

The Passing in Peace fillable pdf workbook includes over 40 pages of practical tools and important information for making your end-of-life planning easy and meaningful.

It can be difficult for some to think about, let alone plan for their death. But death is inevitable and accidents do happen. Having your affairs in order well in advance can remove excess burden for both you and your loved ones.

INCLUDED IN THIS WORKBOOK:

why advance care planning is important

information about the dying process

fillable documents for organizing and communicating your wishes

thought provoking prompts for death contemplation

practical templates for legacy projects

additional resource links

23/11/2024

•What is a death doula?

A death doula is a non-medical caregiver for the dying and their families. Their role is to provide emotional, spiritual, and practical support. The aim is to educate, empower, and advocate for people during their end-of-life transitions.

There is a wide range of specific services that death doulas may offer. Some include:

Caregiver respite - for when life happens and you simply need extra help.

Bedside companioning - sitting bedside with those actively dying for emotional and spiritual support.

Advance care planning - administration support in getting started to plan for end-of-life.

Post-death care - helping with the practical tasks after death such as funeral planning, vigil planning, and ceremony creation.

Death education - because death is not taught in our culture, we often learn in real-time. This can lead to unnecessary trauma. Death education can help mitigate grief trauma.

Grief support - a holistic approach, using practical tools, that will help integrate your grief in a healthy way.

Ultimately the role of a death doula is to be a liaison; bridging the gap between the medical profession and the funeral industry.

•How do I start planning for my own end of life?

The first step is deciding what you want - what would you hope for your death and funeral to look like?

Once decided, state it in your will, have conversations with your family and/or closest friends and get living your best life!

See my Beginner’s Guide for End of Life Planning in my linktree.

•Can a death doula support the family members of those who are dying?

Yes. As we provide care for the dying, we offer moments of education that can reduce grief trauma for family members. Most death doulas offer caregiver respite, most often for family members, and many doulas naturally create an environment that offers emotional and practical support for families.

12/11/2024

Death Care Myth #3: You can’t have an at-home funeral with the deceased body in North America.

Many people have been misled by this myth. People have been led to believe that it is not legal to take home and care for your loved ones after a death. The only legal aspect is that the death must be registered with the local municipality. This can be completed by a physician before you remove the body from the location of death. This can almost always take place with a simple phone call and be done within a few hours time. As much as an at-home funeral may sound radical, so did at-home births only 10 to 15 years ago. At-home wakes and at-home funerals were a very normal and sacred part of living as little as 80 years ago and for hundreds of years prior to that. Once again, they are becoming a common practice.

Most assume bringing your loved one’s body home would be unsafe or physically impossible. However, you have up to 24 hours with that body, 72 hours if the body can be kept cold, before any decay sets in. The funeral home shall maintain an integral part of the process before and after an at-home wake and funeral. *It’s important to note, that the holistic death care movement does not seek to replace current medical care and funeral care providers, but to work alongside them. To return the profound process of our last moments on this earth, the way in which people live through painful losses, and mourning loved ones to their families where profits are not the main goal and should never be. Although still uncommon, several funeral homes are starting to embrace the culture change by integrating at-home and green options into their services. The demand for at-home funerals will only increase as more people continue to feel let down by systems failing.

It is integral to remember that in Ontario, you legally have the right to return your family member's body to your home, to tend to, care for and properly say goodbye. Although it sounds intimidating, with the help of a properly trained Death Doula, or even with some free online resources, you can make an at-home wake or funeral manageable, affordable, safe, and ultimately a beautiful experience.

Photo cred:

11/11/2024

I am now certified in End-of-life Animal Care 🐾

How can I support you and your animal companion?

•Hourly respite care when your pet's health is declining and you can not be home with them as often as they now need

•11th hour pet care, guidance and support in the hours to moments before your beloved animal companion passes

•After-death care, ritual and ceremony creation

•At home natural animal burials

•Grief peer support for pet loss


🐾 🐾

10/11/2024

After-death care myth #2: It is necessary to have a coffin encapsulated in a cement box.

A common practice of the industrialized funeral business is to have the coffin encapsulated in a cement box. This practice became popular in times where families were required to protect the deceased bodies of their loved ones from things like grave robbers. This provided a popular solution for the death industry, which then capitalized on it (e.g. cement boxes are still commonly sold today for upwards of $1,500). However, this is not a modern concern - no one is robbing your grave these days. Some cemetery’s may still require a vault, insisting it protects from potential damage due to grounds keeping.

I have asked five people I know if, after the death of their spouse and, during the funeral arrangements, they remember being given the option to purchase the cement vault. Regrettably, not one of those five people had a transparent experience in which they were given the option, let alone given a single reason why it might be necessary. It is treated as if it is a mandatory practice.

Vaulting is not always required unless you, for whatever reason, feel the need for it. If so, go ahead! Another consideration to take before making that decision is the environmental impact it has. Annually - 1.5 million tons of concrete are used for burial vaults in the U.S. alone.

While the thought of being worm food may not appeal to everone, I can personally see the value of the creepy crawlies doing their job. They are doing vital work of eating and replenishing the nutrient-rich soil; the incredible mycelium (i.e., vegetative fungi) breaking down the body to its basic mineral form so it may benefit the continuation of life on earth. I now know how very important this process of decay and renewal is, and I myself wish to be a part of this delicate process created by mother nature.




I hope to inspire you to research, learn about your options, plan for your death, and put those plans in writing.

08/10/2024

Memorializing your passed loved one, even years after they have died, is one way you can put an action to your grief and help to move grief into a lighter state in your mind and body.

DM with your email to recieve your Memorial Fire Ritual Pdf, a powerful group ritual used to celebrate passed loved ones.

07/10/2024

After-death care myth #1: We should hand over the entire process of death and funeral planning to the professionals.

The industrialization of death was the turning point in the handing over of our dead to the professionals; over time, this led to the removal of the communal, spiritual, and I believe, very healing aspect of the death experience for both the dying and those left behind.

It is normal for most people to feel completely overwhelmed after the death of someone close. Naturally, we rely on professionals both in medical care and the funeral industry to orchestrate and essentially take over the entire process after a death. While this is reasonable, it still leads to so many missed opportunities. Opportunities to connect with your tribe, acknowledge the reality of your own mortality, and thus the preciousness of life, and properly say goodbye and mourn your deceased. This process has been completely accepted by our society. Furthermore, with the cost of a funeral in Canada ranging from $3,000 to $20,000 ($8,500 on average), the industry has become big business, often at the disadvantage of the dying and grieving.

Read more in my blog, 5 After Death Care Myths Everyone Should Know, www.passinginpeace.ca

31/07/2024

What is a death doula?

A death doula is a non-medical caregiver for the dying and their families. Their role is to provide emotional, spiritual, and practical support. The aim is to educate, empower, and advocate for people during their end-of-life transitions.

There is a wide range of specific services that death doulas may offer. Some include:

• Caregiver respite - for when life happens and you simply need extra help.

• Bedside companioning - sitting bedside with those actively dying for emotional and spiritual support.

• Advance care planning - administration support in planning and documenting wishes for end-of-life.

• Post-death care - helping with the practical tasks after death such as funeral planning, vigil planning, difficult phone calls, administration tasks, and ceremony creation.

• Death education - because death is not taught in our culture, we often learn in real-time. This can lead to unnecessary trauma. Death education can help you prepare and help loved ones mitigate grief trauma.

• Grief support - a holistic approach, using practical tools, that will help integrate your grief in a healthy way.

Ultimately the role of a death doula is supprting the dying and the grieving. We act as a liaison; bridging the gaps present in the medical and funeral industries.

Head to my resources page for your free "sad"ministration pdf for a helpful tool on what to do after a loved one dies. www.passinginpeace.ca