The Pottymouth Guru (2025)

23/10/2025

❤️‍🔥 DAILY PRACTICES TO HEAL ATTACHMENT WOUNDS

Healing your attachment style isn’t about doing one big thing.
It’s about teaching your nervous system that connection can actually feel safe.
Small, consistent steps.

💞 ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT

You’re wired to chase connection because your body equates distance with danger.
Let’s show your system that love doesn’t disappear when you exhale.

Somatic:

• Hand on your chest. Breathe in for 4, out for 6. Say out loud, “I’m safe even when it’s quiet.” I will often use, "I'm safe in this moment, there is no danger to my life, I'm not being chased by a lion." Kinda dramatic, I know but it really works to ground me in reality.

• Ground through your senses — find one colour, one sound, one texture that feels calming. Look for all the red things in the room and say them out loud.

• Gently sway or rock; it mimics early soothing your body missed. Slowly tap the side of your legs. Bilateral stimulation rhythmically activates both hemispheres of your brain — the left (logic, language) and the right (emotion, sensory). That back-and-forth movement helps your brain integrate emotional material instead of getting stuck in one hemisphere (which is what happens during distress or trauma recall).

Cognitive:

• Replace “They’re pulling away” with “My body thinks I’m losing safety.”

• Before you reach out, ask: “Do I need connection or regulation right now?” You might autoreply to yourself that you need connection but there's a high probability that you need self regulation and start there either way.

• Track small proofs of consistency like texts returned, plans kept and remind yourself your body can learn a new way of perception and finding evidence that things are actually safe rather than always searching for proof of danger.

🧊 AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT

You crave closeness but protect your autonomy like it’s oxygen.
Healing means proving to your system that intimacy doesn’t equal engulfment.

Somatic:

• Do a few slow exhales and consciously relax your shoulders when someone’s being emotionally open.

• Notice when you want to retreat — and stay one breath longer.

• Try grounding touch like pressing your palms together; it creates containment without disconnection. The bilateral stimulation is great here too.

Cognitive:

• When you feel the urge to shut down, say internally, “I can stay present, still have space and be safe.”

• Replace intellectualizing with curiosity: “What am I actually feeling right now?” Breathe into your body and find a feeling, any feeling, inside your body. Like, "my chest is tight."

• After connection, journal how it felt and remind yourself it didn’t destroy you.

🌪 DISORGANIZED / FEARFUL-AVOIDANT

You swing between “come closer” and “get away.” Your body remembers love and fear as the same thing.
Healing means learning you can have both closeness and safety at the same time.

Somatic:

• Name what’s happening out loud: “My body wants to run and be held.”

• Try bilateral movement like slow walking, tapping opposite shoulders to integrate both impulses.

• When you feel the urge to disappear, press your feet into the floor and breathe into your back body.

Cognitive:

• Reassure your younger self: “It’s safe to feel both scared and connected.”

• Write down the moments people did stay, so your brain stops expecting abandonment.

• Practice repair talks even when it’s awkward because they rewire your system for stability.

🌿 SECURE (OR BECOMING SECURE)

You know connection ebbs and flows. You know that your body can ride the waves.
Your job now is integration and maintenance.

Somatic:

• Keep daily grounding rituals: stretching, breathing, walking outdoors.

• Let your body feel joy; expansion is part of safety too.

Cognitive:

• Keep honest check-ins with yourself and your people.

• Model repair when ruptures happen, it teaches others safety through you.

Healing attachment is just nervous system rehab. It's tiny, repeated acts of safety.
Again and again until your body finally believes you. 🫶

Save this post and share it. ❤🤟🏻🌿

You can’t think your way out of an attachment wound, you have to feel your way through it, safely.
That’s what I help my clients do.
If that sounds like what you need, message me to book a 15 minute free consultation.

**kyourself

22/10/2025

WHEN ADHD MEETS ATTACHMENT WOUNDS💥

If you’ve got ADHD (and especially RSD, which is rejection sensitivity dysphoria), attachment hits differently.
It’s not just about how you love someone, it’s about how your nervous system survives connection to begin with.

Here’s the breakdown:

ANXIOUS + ADHD
Your brain runs on dopamine and danger.
When someone pulls away, your nervous system gets flooded, it’s a physical cortisol stress hormone response, not just a feeling.
You chase connection because rejection just hurts too much. Your body floods with threat signals.
Then you over talk, over explain, or spiral into an oblivion not because you’re dramatic, but because your brain is screaming:
“Am I safe? Or am I about to be abandoned?”

Example:
Sarah texts Dan something vulnerable. He takes an hour to reply.
Her body tightens, her heartrate sp*eds up, her focus is gone, she spirals into self blame and she starts obsessively replaying the last few interactions scanning for rejection. Her brain reads silence as abandonment.

AVOIDANT + ADHD
You crave novelty, but commitment feels like sensory overload and too much sometimes.
You love the idea of connection until someone actually expects consistency from you.
Then your executive function peaces out and you call it “needing space.”
You’re not cold. You’re just out of bandwidth. For real.

Example:
Dan plans a romantic dinner. When Sarah starts sharing feelings, he zones out halfway through, not because he doesn’t care, but because his working memory is juggling 17 unfinished thoughts and a sensory hangover.
Dan is legit overwhelmed and Sarah ends up feeling disconnected and maybe like she's not important to him.

DISORGANIZED + ADHD (aka the emotional carnival)
One part of you wants deep connection; another part totally panics when it arrives.
You might trauma bond fast, read energy like a fu***ng psychic, and then crash when someone’s inconsistent.
RSD turns every emotional wobble into proof you’re “too much” or “not enough.”
Your system never learned that safety and connection can coexist.

Example:
Sarah finally feels close to Dan, they’re laughing, connecting, the energy is soft and easy. Then he says something tender like “I really love moments like this.” Her chest tightens. Suddenly she feels exposed, like she can’t breathe. She pulls back, says she’s tired or cracks a joke, and starts scrolling on her phone. Dan feels dismissed and shuts down. Both feel disconnected again without knowing why.

SECURE + ADHD (yes, it exists)
You’ve done the work. You still get RSD spikes, but you can pause, name what's going on, and self soothe.
You know rejection FEELS fatal, but isn’t.
You can say, “Hey, I’m spiralling right now, can you ground with me?” instead of ghosting or clinging.
That’s rewiring your nervous system and nurturing yourself and learning how to co-regulate rather than being co-dependent.

The more we understand our wiring,
the less it f***s with our worth. ⚡️

❤🤟🏻🌿

**kyourself

20/10/2025

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Let's stop treating it like a trend or use it as a label. What it actually is: It's HOW our nervous systems got wired from early childhood and it impacts everything.💥

Ever wonder why you show up in relationships way you do?
Here’s a simple breakdown, no psych degree required:

SECURE
You grew up (or healed enough) to trust that people stick around. You can say what you need, take space, come back, and not spiral. You’re the chill one in the emotional storm, not because life’s easy, but because you’ve built safety inside of yourself.

Example:
Dan tells Sarah he needs an hour to decompress after work. Sarah says, “Cool, do your thing and I’ll start dinner.” He actually comes back after that hour and she actually trusts he will. No drama or stress. Just a understanding and rhythm in the partnership.

ANXIOUS
You crave closeness like oxygen. When someone pulls away, your brain hits the panic button. You over explain, over text, over function. Not because you’re “crazy” but because your nervous system learned that there's a lot of uncertainty with love and connection. You just want reassurance that you matter. (Spoiler: you do. ❤)

Example:
Sarah notices Dan’s quieter than usual. Instead of asking once if he's ok and leaving space, she checks in four times, trying to understand the vibe. Dan says he’s fine, but her stomach knots. She won’t settle until she feels connected to him again. Space triggers her fear of abandonment.

AVOIDANT
You want connection, but it also freaks you the f**k out. When things get intense, your instinct is to shut down, “need space,” or hyper focus on work, logic, or control. It’s not that you’re cold, you’re protecting the parts of you that learned love and closeness = danger or engulfment. It feels too risky to get close.

Example:
Dan senses Sarah’s upset, but instead of leaning in and talking to her about it, he starts cleaning the kitchen like his life depends on it. It looks helpful and is technically an act of service, but it’s really a buffer. Doing something productive to avoid being emotionally present.

DISORGANIZED (FEARFUL-AVOIDANT)
You’re the push-pull mix of both. You crave closeness and bolt when it happens. Your system says, “Come here, no wait, get away!” You probably had love and fear tangled up together early on. Healing this style means learning that safe love actually exists and you can co-regulate instead of self destruct and self sabotage your relationships.

Example:
Sarah finally opens up about feeling disconnected. Dan gets emotional too, and suddenly she feels overwhelmed. She hugs him, then immediately changes the subject. Both are trying to connect but both are terrified of what happens if they actually do.

Attachment style isn’t a label and it doesn't define who we are.
It’s a map of how our nervous system learned to survive connection.
And the good news? Maps can be redrawn. 🧭

❤🤟🏻🌿

**kyourself

04/08/2025

💔 Grief That’s Not Done With You Yet.

You ever feel like you're holding it together and then suddenly you’re fu***ng not?

Not because anything new happened all of a sudden. But because the grief you thought was quiet suddenly decided to scream again.

Mine did.
She’s loud this week.
Because I have important mom things coming up this month. Including her 2nd birthday without her. She would have been 76.
The body keeps the score and my nervous system remembers everything I’ve had to shelve.

The world doesn’t leave room for long-haul grief. It gets ignored, minimized, or replaced with toxic optimism.
But here’s the thing nobody tells you:

💥 Grief doesn’t end when people expect it to.
💥 It ends when the body finally feels safe enough to let it go.
💥 And sometimes, it takes a long-ass time or comes and goes in unexpected ways.

I’m still grieving the loss of my mother. April was a year without her.
I’m grieving the version of my life that had her with my old son for much longer. He was only 1.5 years old when she died. He won't remember her...
And I'm grieving a reality that doesn't have her in it when I needed her most.

If you’re in it too...
If your grief came back like a freight train when you had s**t to do and people to show up for, you’re not broken and you’re not too sensitive.
You’re not falling apart.
You’re just a human being.
And you’re healing in a world that keeps asking you to be functional instead of fu***ng free to feel and release what you need in a safe, accepting environment.

Youre not alone. ❤🤟🏻🌿

**kyourself

24/05/2025

Let’s PLEASE unf**k this myth that healing always feels like a warm bubble bath. It doesn’t. Sometimes it feels like rage. Like grief. Like resistance. Like “why the F**K is this STILL a thing?”

But you’re not doing it wrong. Growth requires friction. It requires tension. Pressure. Even a little chaos.

That voice saying “this is too hard, I must be broken”? That’s not your truth. That’s your survival brain trying to bail. Don’t confuse discomfort with danger.

You are not the mess, babe. You’re the flame walking through it. ❤🤟🏻🌿

**kyourself

19/05/2025

Your nervous system can’t tell the difference between now and then when it’s in survival mode.
Old systems are gonna come online in autopilot mode.

But you can consciously become aware of wtf is going on.
You get to remind your body. Gently and with the care of the parent you never had. Repeatedly. With love and zero fu***ng judgment.

After 2.5 years of nonstop crisis and trauma, I’m in the stage of picking up the pieces and retraining mine.
I’m still rewiring my body and my thought patterns.
And on the days when I catch my system gearing up for battle, for no rational reason, I HAVE to rely on these to catch my system up to reality in the here and now.

Affirmations like this aren’t cheesy. (Even if they feel super weird at first.)
They’re nervous system CPR.
They help us pause, breathe, stay and soften.

Save this. Read it out loud. LET your body hear you when you do.
❤🤟🏻🌿

**KYOURSELF

16/05/2025

He uses a baby voice. 👶
She’s asked him to stop—especially in public.
He keeps doing it. And now she feels guilty for shutting it down.

Spoiler: it’s not about the voice.
It’s about how safe you feel to say no without the other person pouting, escalating, or flipping the guilt script.

When someone’s quirky habit starts to feel like emotional pressure wrapped in cuteness?
That’s not a communication style—it’s a nervous system mismatch.

This isn’t “harmless play.”
It’s protest behaviour.
It’s the relational equivalent of saying “love me how I want or I’ll melt down in Aisle 3.”

Because here’s the thing:
If your partner says, “This makes me uncomfortable,” and your next move is doing it again?

That’s not intimacy.
That’s boundary erosion in a baby voice.

Watch the post.
Then tell me—what’s your take?
🍼 = just a playful quirk
🧠 = protest behaviour all the way
❤️ = harmless, if both people are into it

And if this hits a little too close to home—
you’re not broken.
You’re probably just stuck in a relationship pattern where saying no has always come with consequences.

DM me “SAFE” if you’re ready to untangle that sh*t in a way that doesn’t shame you for having needs.

❤🤟🏻🌿
**kyourself

16/05/2025

This is beauty, mother f**kers.

Pamela Anderson is not here to perform youth for people’s comfort. She’s not slathering herself in insecurity just to stay palatable. She’s not asking for anyone’s opinion on her bare face, her wrinkles, or their f**ked up standards.

And yet… the world keeps tripping the f**k out when a woman dares to age in public, especially one who used to embody the lens that’s never satisfied. But here it is: she was never just people’s to consume.

Now she’s choosing softness. Surrender. Liberation. A sweater and no mascara. And she still looks like a fu***ng goddess because beauty isn’t youth. It’s power, truth, and the refusal to betray yourself to be liked.

Let her age. She's doing it the way she fu***ng wants.
Let yourself age. Gracefully, chaotically, freely, as you fu***ng please. ❤🤟🏻🌿

**kyourself

15/05/2025

You’ve spent years trying to prove you’re reasonable.
Palatable. Calm enough to be heard.
You’ve toned it down, second-guessed yourself, journaled through the spiral, and still walked away wondering:
“Was I too much again?”

Spoiler: You weren’t too much.
But your need for depth met their fear of feeling—classic nervous system mismatch.

This carousel is for every nervous system that’s been gaslit, dismissed, or labeled unstable just for asking to be seen.

Let it land.
Let it sting.
Let it remind you what you already know deep down.

If you’re done trying to contort yourself just to be palatable…
If your burnout has less to do with being broken and more to do with being chronically unseen...

I work with women 1:1 who are ready to feel safe in their own bodies, their own emotions, and their own boundaries.

DM me “SAFE” if you’re ready to work together.
You don’t need to be fixed.
You just need someone who gets it (and won’t hand you a fu***ng gratitude journal when your world is on fire).
❤🤟🏻🌿

**kyourself

14/05/2025

Bro. Crying is a biological function.

I tell ALL my clients (friends and family too) who struggle with tears:
If you had to p*e or take a s**t, would you hold it in indefinitely?
No the f**k you would not.
Because your body is WISE. It knows when something needs out.

Tears aren’t weakness, drama, or manipulation.
They’re discharge.
Your nervous system saying:
“Too much. Must release. Or I’ll store this s**t as tension, inflammation, or anxiety.”

Let’s get real for a sec:
Your body does not waste energy on useless s**t.
Crying wouldn’t even exist as a human function if it didn’t serve a purpose.

Biologically, tears help regulate your nervous system.
They flush cortisol. They activate the parasympathetic system.
They literally signal safety to your brain so your body can calm the f**k down.

If crying wasn’t necessary, evolution would’ve ditched it a long time ago.

We’re so quick to honour hunger, thirst, sleep.
But when we cry?
We shame it.
We silence it.
We act like we’ve failed some invisible emotional purity test.

NO.
You didn’t fu***ng fail.
You’re functioning.
You’re metabolizing pain.

Let the tears come. Let the dam break. Let your body do its fu***ng job.
Crying is holy work.
Crying is healing.
❤🤟🏻🌿

**kyourself

13/05/2025

It’s not always the conflict that burns you out.
It’s the crash after.
The shame spiral.
The crushing fatigue.
The feeling that you’re holding it all alone...again.

Let’s be real:
You can survive the blow up. The tone. The shutdown. The tension.
You’ve done it a thousand times.

But what no one talks about is the part after—
The part where your whole body crashes like it’s just been hit by a fu***ng bus.
Your brain’s foggy. Your chest is tight. You question everything.
You wonder if you were too much. Not enough. If you should’ve stayed quiet.
You’re not just tired. You’re spiritually fried.

Because conflict isn’t always about what was said.
Sometimes it’s about what was never resolved.
What was never repaired. Or at least in a way that was meaningful to you.
What you were left holding... that feels like bricks on your chest.

If your nervous system feels like it just ran a fu***ng marathon, you’re not crazy.
You just don't wanna carry all the emotional weight alone anymore.

Drop a ‘me too’ if your nervous system needs backup.
Let’s carry the fu***ng weight together.
You don’t have to hold this s**t alone anymore. ❤🤟🏻🌿

**kyourself

12/05/2025

Yeah ok, it’s technically the day after Mother’s Day, but let’s be fu***ng for real here: mothers don’t get just one fu***ng day. So this one’s for:

To the moms still in the thick of it.
To the ones just clawing their way out.
To the ones who feel broken more days than not.
To the ones who are grieving the mom they had.
To the ones grieving the mom they never had.
To the ones trying—desperately, silently, relentlessly—to become moms.
To the ones who’ve held life in their body, even if it never made it earthside.
To the ones who mother fur babies, soul friends, and chosen family.
To the ones who carry the weight of generational healing while still wiping butts, making snacks, and trying not to scream into the void.
To the ones with postpartum depression, anxiety, rage, or regret who were told to "just be grateful."
To the ones showing up when no one else fu***ng does.
To the ones who have actually found balance. (You're unicorns and we need your fairy dust please.)
To the ones who don't feel like they're enough—but are still here, still loving, still trying.

Motherhood isn't a Hallmark card. It’s blood, sweat, tears, and a s**t-ton of surrender.
You are seen. You are sacred. You are so not alone. ❤🤟🏻🌿

**kyourself

The Pottymouth Guru

23/10/2025

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20/10/2025

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24/05/2025

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