22/11/2025
We need to bring back mourning.
The Spirit Guided Path
After the first world war, the act of mourning (outward displays of grief, in which people would know that someone was in mourning just by what they wore) dissipated a great deal. In 2025, in North America, there is usually no obvious sign that someone is enduring a time of bereavement. Grief became a private affair, and one that eventually seemed to be treated as an illness that people needed to "get over" as quickly as possible, as it hindered the productivity of the modern world.
However, this has left many people feeling disconnected, isolated, misunderstood, and very alone in their grief. It is not uncommon for people to put on their social mask when being around others, smiling, even laughing, saying "I'm fine", and then collapsing with exhaustion the moment they return home, as it is energetically draining to pretend that all is well when your mind, body, heart, and spirit are aching in ways that could hardly be explained.
Imagine if we found a new, modern way to demonstrate to the world that we are currently in a time of grief. There are people walking around your neighbourhood grocery store who are in a completely surreal state of mind; in shock over the fact that someone they loved dearly has just left this world, and yet they still have to pick up food for their family. They are moving slowly, struggling to make simple decisions, and holding up the check out line because in their grief brain they have forgotten their PIN for the credit card. Imagine how gently we would hold space for them, ask them if we could help, or offer our sincere condolences while they let the tears fall freely instead of feeling like they must hold them back?
It may be one step to making this world a softer, more connected place. Death walks alongside us in life, and grief follows behind it. Grief is not something we "get over" or even ever complete, grief is love that transcends time and space, and it integrates into our lives, for the rest of our time here. Mourning does not need to be held to a specific standard or be followed on a prescribed timeline, but it would be a welcome change to our current society that is entirely grief-phobic to encourage people to let the world know that at this time, they are in the sacred state of mourning.
Death Doulas of Manitoba