Lillian Benrubi Psychotherapy

12/06/2025

It may be hard to imagine holding boundaries in a soft and calm manner during the holiday season, but it is possible. The more we respect ourselves and our needs, the more we can respect others while negotiating ours in a self assured and kind way. Give yourself lots of space for the things that bring you joy and peace, and you will find it much easier to approach conflicting needs in a neutral and powerfully effective way.🎄

All the best during this holiday season. Lots of love and care, and positive reflection on your growth in the past year.💫

11/11/2025

Ever wonder how to “really” regulate your emotions? Like…how do I really get there so I can come down from these heightened feelings and have a calm and productive conversation and finally have these issues resolved? Well…here are the first steps. Sounds simple, but the work and the insight is in the practice and being curious about what shows up as you move through them. The “aha” moment, the “getting it” is always in your experience of it…so give it a try or if you want support for yourself or a relationship, click on the link in my bio and set up a consult or appointment to see what’s possible for you and/or your relationship.

11/10/2025

Ever wonder how to “really” regulate your emotions? Like…how do I really get there so I can come down from these heightened feelings and have a calm and productive conversation and finally have these issues resolved? Well…here is the first steps. Sounds simple, but the work and the insight is in the practice and being curious about what shows up as you move through them. If you want support for yourself or a relationship, click on the link in my bio and set up a consult or appointment to see what’s possible for you and/or your relationship.🌸
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11/07/2025

https://www.lbenrubipsychotherapy.com/newsletter

Could You Have Been a Butterfly All Along?

Did you know it is physically impossible for a butterfly to see its own wings? Did you also know that the wings of a butterfly are considered to be one of the most beautiful of nature’s creations? They can’t see how beautiful they are. But everyone else can….I feel like people can be the same way. - DW

11/06/2025

Therapy is a place to slow down, feel safe, and explore yourself with gentle guidance, warmth, and a little lightheartedness.

Growth isn’t always a grand leap forward; often, it’s a tiny shift in awareness, a small act of kindness toward yourself. Maybe it’s noticing your boundaries, or offering patience to a part of you that feels uncertain. What if you gave yourself permission to be curious about your patterns — without judgment, without expectation? Even this simple curiosity can open a quiet door to understanding and connection.

10/24/2025

How do we relate to our feelings? Some clients say “I know it’s stupid to feel this way”, or “It’s embarrassing, ridiculous, immature….”, and so on. What if we stood in “it’s curious”, or “it’s interesting that I have these feelings.”. What we say about our feelings matter. It can be deminishing or empowering. Let’s consciously chose.
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10/24/2025

10/17/2025

09/09/2025

As we navigate the twists and turns of life, we often find ourselves at crossroads, where the path ahead is uncertain. Yet, in these moments, we have the power to choose how we respond. We can remain tight in the bud, resisting the flow of inner events, or we can take the leap and bloom into our true potential.

Taking responsibility for our lives involves a journey of self-discovery, where we learn to listen to our inner voice and honour our deepest desires. But what does it really mean to take responsibility for our lives? It means acknowledging that your choices and actions shape your reality. that becoming accountable for your decisions and actions helps you learn from mistakes to make better choices in the future. You also cultivate self awareness in the process which supports you in making informed decisions that lead to a more authentic life. Personal growth occurs, as you become open to areas for improvement and work on becoming the best version of yourself. With self compassion, you are better equipped to handle challenges and setbacks, you are more likely to bounce back quickly from adversity. Finally, you are left with a sense of freedom, as you gain more control over your life, and beak free from external/imagined expectations and standards, and start to live life on your own terms.

When we take responsibility for our lives, we experience a profound shift in our sense of empowerment and freedom. We begin to see that we have the power to shape our own destiny, and that our choices can lead to growth, learning, and transformation. We become more resilient, more adaptable, and more confident. We learn to trust ourselves, and to trust the process of life.

As we cultivate self-awareness and self-compassion, we begin to understand that taking responsibility is not about self-blame or self-criticism, but about self-love and self-care. It’s about being kind to ourselves, and acknowledging our humanity. It’s about embracing our imperfections, and celebrating our successes.

Link for Meditation www.LBenrubiPsychotherapy.com/newsletter

09/08/2025

Embracing Personal Responsibility

As we navigate the twists and turns of life, we often find ourselves at crossroads, where the path ahead is uncertain. Yet, in these moments, we have the power to choose how we respond. We can remain...

06/01/2025

Words of wisdom? What do you think?

05/07/2025

Gosh, who hasn't been a perfectionist at one point or another, or in some area of life or another? We all have standards and expectations, meeting them has us feel good, complete, at ease, safe and secure......but when the cost becomes much more apparent to us than the benefit.....well, that's when its a problem for us, and that's when we look to make a difference. However, if we are using the same life strategy, perfectionism, to fix or change our perfectionism....well, we get stuck in this loop or hamster wheel, often silently pleading for something or someone to help us.

If we are ready for a change, the first step is in acknowledging our perfectionism and its costs. Getting really related to the cards we had to trade in, peace of mind, trust in ourselves and others (the world maybe), confidence etc, to get the card of feeling in control and feeling safe (however temporarily).

Next, talking about it, just talking about it, with whoever will truly and compassionately listen, relate and acknowledge our attempt, in using this strategy, to prevent past negative experiences from happening again.

The perfectionist strategy may have gotten us A+'s throughout school, perhaps even scholarships and bursaries, it may have kept us out of the punishing eye of a parent, and maybe recognition, promotions and bonus. It has us stand out and/or melt into the background. Either way it kept us safe, and gave us a sense of control.

But all that work to stay on top of it all. What a cost. An eventual cost.

If you find yourself in this repetitive pattern, a whirlwind of "overthinking", projecting worst case scenarios, planning in the middle of the night when you are supposed to be catching up on much needed rest....reach out to me, arrange a consult....lets see what the next best steps are for you.