Dragonfly Daughters

10/07/2024

What small change to your current routine can you implement that will set you on the right path out of survival mode?

10/07/2024

Living in survival mode is exhausting. It's not just about feeling tired after a long day; it's the constant weight of overwhelm that turns even the simplest tasks into monumental challenges. You could have a day filled with nothing more than household chores, but it feels like you're doing them blindfolded, with a blaring radio in your ears, and ten sacks of potatoes around your neck. It's a physical, emotional, and mental burden that leaves you drained before you've even begun.

Every day feels like a battle just to make it through. You wake up already feeling behind, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of what lies ahead. Sometimes, it's not even about what you need to accomplish that day—it’s the bigger picture that looms over you. You know changes need to be made, but just thinking about them can feel paralyzing.

You’ve likely heard about various tools and strategies to get out of this survival mode. You’ve researched somatic practices like deep breathing, tapping, and other ways to ground yourself in the present moment. You know how valuable a good morning routine is, how much sleep hygiene can improve your mental clarity. You've seen articles and videos on how meditation and simply getting outside for some fresh air can do wonders for your mental health. You have the knowledge. The issue isn’t that you don’t know where to start—it’s that starting feels like trying to lift a boulder with your bare hands.

I get it. I've been there. I spent years telling myself, “Tomorrow is the day.” I’d wake up every morning, making promises to myself that I’d finally get it together, that today would be different. But day after day, tomorrow never came. And when you let yourself down time and time again, it chips away at your self-trust. You start to believe that you aren’t capable of making these changes, that you don’t have what it takes. The cycle of survival mode continues, because now not only are you overwhelmed by your circumstances, but you’re also carrying the weight of self-doubt.

But here’s the thing: the key to getting out of this rut isn’t about force or willpower. It’s about joy. Yes, joy. The secret to starting any new routine or making any lasting change is to do it in a way that brings you joy. Because when something makes you happy, you don’t have to force yourself to keep doing it—you’ll want to.

I know what you're thinking—how can something like deep breathing or a morning routine possibly bring joy when it feels like just another thing to add to the endless list? But it can. The trick is to find the version of these practices that makes you feel good, that lights you up, even if just a little bit.

Start with something small. Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to overhaul your entire life in one day. Pick one thing—just one. Maybe it’s something as simple as sitting outside for five minutes in the morning, feeling the breeze on your skin and the sun on your face. Maybe it’s putting on your favorite song and doing a little dance in the kitchen while you make your coffee. Or maybe it’s just taking three deep breaths when you first wake up. It doesn’t have to be monumental, it just has to be something that makes you smile, something that feels doable.

Once you’ve mastered that one thing for a week, add another. Slowly, one joyful practice at a time, you’ll start to build a routine that feels good to you. And when it feels good, it won’t feel like another task on your to-do list—it’ll become something you look forward to. Over time, these small moments of joy will start to add up, and you’ll find yourself slowly but surely climbing out of survival mode.

But here’s the most important part: be kind to yourself. This process isn’t about perfection. It’s not about waking up one day and suddenly being a completely different person with a perfectly structured life. It’s about progress, about taking one step at a time. There will be days when you fall back into old patterns, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It just means you’re human.

When you start small and focus on what brings you joy, you begin to rebuild that trust in yourself. You’ll start to see that you are capable of making changes, that you do have the strength to push through, even on the hard days. And little by little, you’ll begin to feel lighter. The sacks of potatoes around your neck will start to fall away, the radio in your ears will get quieter, and you’ll begin to see the world a little clearer.

Living in survival mode is exhausting, yes—but you don’t have to stay there. You don’t have to wait for some magical “tomorrow” to come and save you. You have the power to start today, right now, with one small, joyful action. And as you continue to choose joy, you’ll find that survival mode slowly becomes a thing of the past.

So, what’s your one small, joyful action going to be today? Maybe it’s taking that walk outside, or dancing in your kitchen, or giving yourself permission to rest for five minutes without guilt. Whatever it is, make it something that lights you up, even if just for a moment. Because that moment is where change begins.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to start. And when you start with joy, you’ll find that the path out of survival mode is a lot less heavy than you thought.

Trust yourself again. You’re capable of more than you think, and you deserve to live a life that feels good. It’s time to break free from survival mode, one joyful step at a time.

08/24/2023

I was 8 years old when my family shared with me that they were HIV positive. I alone was negative. HIV and AIDS was still very stigmatized and feared in the early 90s. I had to grow up far too soon, and had many losses far too young.

I took on my mother's work of public speaking about HIV and AIDS to spread awareness at 11 years old. I did it to be able to still feel close to my mom, and it worked. However, it also gave me a false sense of strength, and so I didn't seek therapy until I was well I to my 30s.

It took me far to long to address my grief and shame (I suffered from survivors guilt), and so my identity was defined by my story, and it was one of sadness and pain.

Finally, through lots of therapy and self development, I was able to begin to shift my perspective of my story from one of pain to one of real strength, where I realized there was power in my story.

That's why I started Dragonfly Daughters. As a way to help women who are where I once was.

Watch, follow, and discover more trending content.

08/24/2023

I get asked a lot where the idea for the name Dragonfly Daughters came from.... Here is the answer!!!

08/11/2023

I had business cards made!! 😊😊

08/11/2023

It's OK to quit what isnt serving you!!! It's actually the best way forward, because it allows for what you are truly calling into your life.

08/01/2023

What is resilience, exactly? Is it strength? I'm not sure.... listen to why in this video, and tell me your thoughts ❤️

04/03/2022

It’s official… The Canadian VIP 24-hour bestseller launch event for My Mother’s Story: Gone Too Soon on Amazon Canada is just around the corner… please mark your calendars for Tuesday, April 5th! To receive a discounted launch price and contribute to our Amazon bestseller rankings, you MUST use the special link provided below.

https://amzn.to/3tQHRK6

MY MOTHER’S STORY: GONE TOO SOON
Discover the powerful connection between storytelling and healing. Following the success of My Mother’s Story: The Originals and North Vancouver, actor and project founder, Marilyn Norry, and Registered Therapeutic Counsellor, Michelle Hohn, combine their experience to present this third book in the anthology series on the extraordinary lives of ordinary women.
Gone Too Soon is a courageous collection written using the My Mother’s Story template by adults who experienced the loss of their mother in childhood or adolescence and offers the rich, lived experiences of 20 mothers and their 20 bereaved children—18 women and 2 men—residing in four nations (Canada, the USA, the UK, and South Korea). Both heartbreaking and hopeful, these stories are about far more than grief and loss, and present readers with a vibrant array of experiences revealing how these mothers lived; documenting the history of women and all that they experienced or endured–their values, choices, times of opportunity and fulfillment, as well as their challenges, moments of quiet desperation, and defeats along the way. The anthology contributors traverse difficult emotional terrain together to more definitively answer the question “Who was my mother?” on their individual and unique paths and collectively transform the narrative from feeling a mother’s absence to finding her presence.
You may be drawn to this book if:
• you have personally experienced mother loss (perhaps at a young age) and may be feeling alone in your grief
• your mother is living, but you have felt other losses and wish to understand more about the direct experience of mother loss
• you are seeking helpful resources to support someone you know in their loss and grief
• you are familiar with the other My Mother’s Story anthologies or online archive and are keen to read the next set of extraordinary stories about ordinary women.
Guided by the tradition of the My Mother’s Story writing recipe and expanded upon through counsellor-facilitated processes informed by expressive writing insights, Gone Too Soon combines the power of storytelling with individual paths of self-discovery and healing, and demonstrates how this specific technique can be harnessed to lead to an increased sense of belonging, connection, and resilience for adults bereaved in childhood. The Gone Too Soon method invited this group of authors to a landscape where sense and meaning-making reside, providing an additional, and much-needed tool to access the spirit of those who are no longer with us.

PRAISE FOR GONE TOO SOON
“The stories in this book… remind us of the power of a loss and how even after many years, memories and stories are an important aspect of remembering and grieving.”
— Suzannah Phillips, Associate Director, Winston’s Wish

“These authors have beautifully captured the essence of their mothers…”
— Devony Baugh, Registered Clinical Counsellor, Vancouver, Canada

“… bringing adult perspectives and wisdom to the indelible experience of early mother loss.”
— Kathleen Adams LPC, PJTR, Registered Poetry and Journal Therapist, The Center for Journal Therapy

“…the insights offered are applicable to the experience of loss and grief for anyone at any age and offers a healing tool for all.”
— Amy Liebman Rapp, M.S.Ed.,CT

03/18/2022

It's been awhile, but it's about time

It was the beginning of 2020 that I came up with the idea of Dragonfly Daughters. Right at the beginning of the pandemic, when I had just been laid off and was trying to think of ways to be productive during my time off. I had always known I had a story to tell, and this avenue felt right; to try an...