20/09/2022
It is our fears about imperfection that drive us to avoid every negative. So we aim to control all bads like they are always really bad, like we-have-to-avoid-it-at-all-costs bad, and hold ourselves to perfection as a defense. But think about how stressed (and vulnerable!) we are if our stability and sanity depend on things going perfectly all the time! We end up filled with immense and constant anxiety about avoiding the “wrong” option and picking the “right” one. When we operate off of fantasies of omnipotence, we drown in “shoulds” - we “should” have been able to find a way to not spend that money, not eat that slice of cake, not waste that food, not miss that test question, not forget that grocery list item, not miss that bus, not miss that friend’s birthday dinner, not get tired, not get lazy, not be forgetful, not have bitten that nail or pulled those hairs. But we aren’t machine. We are human. And the sooner we can accept that the sooner we can live with some real peace and freedom.
