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Choose Silence

A simple but powerful way to take care of yourself

01/02/2024

We are here to love. Love deeply, love widely, and love without condition or reserve. We are here to remove the friction, the boundaries, and the judgement that prevents us from loving another completely. Within our body lives an immortal soul. At the core of each soul is an immutable goodness that can become hidden or distorted by the experience of this physical realm. All of the negativity that we experience during our sojourn in the body creates a contrast to the infinite love found in our true home in heaven. Learning to love every individual despite the negativity that exists around them is our calling. I invite you to start by looking into the faces of the people around you whether known or unknown and allow your heart to try to understand the immense value of each person. Try to appreciate the complexity of their existence and recognise it as equally valuable as your own. Try to ignore the societal cues that prompt you to evaluate each person in comparison to others. Wealth, beauty, nor intelligence matter because we are all equal. Loving someone who has been infected by negativity does not mean that we agree or are complicit with their behaviour in loving them. Our goal is to see past it to the true goodness that lies within and desire for them a better outcome. This might require enduring the discomfort of interacting with a soul that does not understand its interconnection with every other soul because of the pain and trauma that this life has brought. We are not required to “fix” or enlighten these troubled souls but simply to meet them and all we encounter with kindness and compassion. Our minds have developed a system of judgment to help us to determine the threat that our interactions with others might pose. Our task is to try to overcome this programming and to be in communion with each other. In the context of eternity, this life is fleeting so start now to frame your entire life with love. Every thought, every action, every interaction is an opportunity to lead with love.
Photo by Chris Jones on Unsplash

26/01/2024

When we experience difficult things or have periods of stress, we can find that we more quickly and easily jump to a fear response even though we may have come through and are feeling better. This tendency can linger many years after a stressful event. Such fear can be unsettling and cause us to question ourselves and perhaps even feel as though we want to withdraw from life. This is a completely natural and understandable reaction because no-one wants to put themselves in the path of pain. When we realise that this is happening, we can take a moment to sit in silence with our feelings and acknowledge what is happening. Often the feeling is not in our minds but in our bodies. That strange sensation in the chest and arms that is an early sign of fight or flight. Talking gently to ourselves and breathing slowly and deeply reassures our body that we are safe and we can then make a plan to navigate the fear. Slowing down to engage with and soothe our fear in the moment helps us to avoid being completely paralysed by our fear and can help us to return to a place of ease more quickly. If we ignore our fear or punish our lack of perfection, we are creating the environment for an amplified fear response in the future. Providing reassurance of safety and then reinforcing our desire to engage with life puts us back into the flow of growth. Like a well-nourished plant placed in the warm sun, we allow ourselves the chance to bloom. Do not be afraid of fear. You are important, your life matters, and you are loved.
With thanks to Artem Kovalev () on Unsplash for the beautiful photo.

21/01/2024

Be still
and stand alert to the fragile but magical delicacy of your existence
Be aware
of your immense capacity to love
Be kind
to yourself and every creature and non-creature that inhabits your space
Be grateful
to be here and to be part of a greater love that encompasses all
Be loving
unconditionally in all situations whether deserving or undeserving
Be expansive
allowing your vast love to stretch beyond the horizon
Be loved
surrender to the truth of your unique and eternal beauty and worth
Be silent
and project your powerful healing presence out into the world around you

“In the evening of life, we will be judged on love alone.” St John of the Cross

I love you dear friends and hope that you will find a way to lead with your own love to all around you. So grateful you are here and know that you are so deeply loved. Thank you for keeping me in your own circle of love. Take care of yourself.

28/09/2022

At night, as you walk through the darkened stillness, illuminated by the smallest points of light, when the air is less energised by the rays of the sun; it is possible to expand your soul to the farthest reaches of time to feel the edges of eternity around you. The universe expands above you, galaxies swirl around points of absolute silence. There is no time, just moment after moment of awareness and absolute love. The wind of divinity permeates every cell, clearing out the ancient dust of your evolution. Spread your arms and allow yourself to be transformed from finite flesh to infinite spirit. Allow your ego to be merged with all that is good and holy. Inhale the peace of pure being, detached from all matter and distraction. You are one with everything and everyone in the mind and heart of a loving creator. You are loved and your presence in each moment matters.
With grateful thanks to Evgeni Tcherkasski ( on ) for the use of this beautiful photograph.

21/08/2022

Bend and stretch to move yourself from stagnation to greater freedom in all things. If we stay cocooned in our place of comfort, we will not see or do the things that will move us forward. Indeed, not moving invites deterioration. A holy life is one where we allow ourselves to be regularly bent and stretched until what is uncomfortable becomes natural. We are not always in control of the process and we are sometimes forced to bend or stretch in a way that causes us discomfort but is ultimately for our own good. Pain in the extreme is never needed so discernment is required. But do not retreat at the first sign of discomfort. Take time to look for the signs that might mean you need to move in a new way or a new direction. Never settle in one place forever. To be alive is to keep moving and expanding ourselves. What is holding you back from expansion? What attachments get in the way of your growth? What idols need to be destroyed? What do you worship that is not holy? What temples need to be torn down? Do not accept stagnation as your destiny. It is never too late to start again. Start moving, start looking, start listening. Still yourself daily for a few moments in silence and allow your soul to sing to you of its true and holy desire. To move in harmony with life, to be one with all, to be holy, to be loved.

Thanks to Dominic Sansotta ( on ) for the beautiful photo.

11/09/2021

I know that the pain you are feeling seems never ending
This is part of what it is to be alive
Being alive is essentially painful
Yet there are moments where we transcend the pain of existence
The core of our pain is physical
We hold our pain in our bodies, in our minds, in our hearts
But our souls, though they ache, can be a place of rest and peace
What we long for is other
Other than now, other than here, other than being
The way to access this place is to be still and quiet
To release everything that we are supposed to do
Let go of everything we are expected to be
To choose silence is to allow ourselves to float on the top of our ocean of pain
To allow ourselves to find the other that we are looking for
Heaven is a place of beautiful light where we float painlessly in the presence of God
Utterly free and totally loved
I love you dear friends
Keep choosing silence, freedom, and love

Grateful for photo by averie woodard ( on )

15/04/2021

The heart makes decisions without consulting the mind. The mind thinks it is in control but the heart knows that things are not that simple. The body holds feelings that the heart and mind cannot fully comprehend. Instincts and survival chemistry long past their sell by date create heightened urgency. Decisions made by our internal committee negotiating to establish the best way to proceed. Uncertainty and second guessing within our own internal community can leave us feeling unsettled about our choices. But here, in an unusual twist of fate, time becomes our ally. Once a decision has been made and the time to change course has passed, the acceptance of now and then moving forward keeps us from getting stuck in the existential quicksand. We do our best and we keep going. Peace be with you. Take a moment to still all your internal voices. Take a moment to

Photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen ( on )

05/02/2021

You are here in this moment
Your presence echoes down the centuries
All time past and future exists right now
Eternity has no beginning and no end
All of history linked by this single moment
You come into this world with nothing
You leave this world with nothing
except the love you received
and the memory of the love you shared
On the other side of the veil
You can look into the eyes of your beloved
You can feel the touch of what you thought was lost
The utter joy of the glorious love light
The absolute certainty that love is the truth
A moment in heaven where time has no sway
The glorious feeling of pure happiness
Say yes when it comes and do not be afraid
You are loved now and always in eternity

Thank you Frank McKenna for your beautiful photo ( on )

19/01/2021

You need to understand how important you are. Your value does not come from anything you do or say or achieve. It’s not how beautiful you are, how rich you are, how cool you are, how many followers you have, how smart you are or anything that can be admired or quantified. You are important and valuable because YOU ARE. You are here, you are alive, your heart is beating, you are breathing, and you ARE. That is all you need to be. Immerse yourself in the silence of your be-ing and know that your be-ing alone is enough for all eternity. You don’t need anything else.

Photo by Zach Lucero () on

19/11/2020

Breath is life but too much of a good thing creates tension in our bodies. Take a moment to sit still. Close your eyes and allow yourself to fully inhabit your body. Feel your edges and your far reaches. Take your time. Release any tension in your body. Once you are fully present in your body, focus on your breath. Inhale as you count to 5, then exhale as you count to 5. During the exhale allow all the air to exit your lungs. Do not be in a hurry to start the next breath. Try counting to 5 before the next breath. Reassure yourself that the next breath is coming and try to remain tension free. You can inhale and exhale through the nose, or the exhale can be through the mouth but try not to inhale through your mouth. Once you return to normal activity try to remain aware of your breath. Are you breathing too quickly or through your mouth? Take a moment to do a few 5 count inhales and exhales to restore your equilibrium. Staying in touch with your breath helps you to stay in touch with your body. Notice your natural rhythms and try to honour your body’s needs as they arise: thirst, hunger, toilet breaks, fatigue. We have become too good at ignoring our bodies and hanging out in our heads. And as always progress is more important than perfection.

Photo by Allef Vinicius (.ph on )
Inspirational thanks to Nicky Duffell () and James Nestor ()

06/11/2020

I don’t want to be famous or lauded by the world. There is nothing in it that will feed my hungry soul. All I want is to give you my love and I hope you will feel safe in the knowledge that you are loved. Safely held in the infinite space within my heart and the hearts of others without condition. Allow yourself to be loved without limits. Don’t hide away your painful tender parts. Let them be drenched in the healing light of pure love freely offered. The world as perceived through your primal senses is not all there is just as your physical body is not all that you are. The senses of your soul perceive across the boundaries of space and time. Perception of the eternal force and momentum of each precious life. We are called to turn inward and understand our true nature. To choose silence is to start that inward journey. You don’t need anything more than a desire to love. No books, no words. Just silent stillness that allows you to finally see the divine source within. Be transformed by the truth of self-knowledge and the power of love.

Grateful for space held open with love by and for photo by Zac Durant (.photography on )

03/10/2020

As we approach a milestone after which our lives will change irrevocably, time can seem like it is flowing in slow motion. We are grateful to have time to savour what we will never again experience but at the same time the long goodbye is painful. The flow around us carries on as we attempt to slowly detach from what has been our life for so long. Everyone else is too busy to notice our slow disintegration. We can spend half our lives engulfed in work that soon will no longer be our business. Extensive knowledge and understanding to be relegated to deep cold storage unlikely ever to surface again. Knowledge that is impossible to share, the feeling of long past experience, awareness of how things are and how they came to be. Life goes on and as we take a different road the anxiety will give way to joy. A new and simpler life with time to breathe, to rest, to love. Times of transition make serious demands on our mental, emotional, and physical health that should not be underestimated. Taking time to choose silence, to recharge, to ponder, to rest, to breathe can help us to ease our merge from the rat race to the slow lane. Acknowledge and grieve for what will be lost but also latch on to what will be coming that will make your heart sing.

Photo by Andrik Langfield ( on )

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About

My name is Heather and choose silence is a collection of my thoughts, observations, and ideas about trying to live my life. I offer my writing not as advice to you on how to live your own life but more in the spirit of sharing my experiences. If something I write does not make sense for you, then it is not for you. There are as many roads to our destination as there are travellers, so always choose your own path in a way that makes sense for you. Do not accept advice blindly. Most of the people who pretend to be gurus have confidence beyond their ability. Trust your own ability to know what is right for you.

I also think it is important to say that silence does not allow us to hide away and avoid dealing with problems or difficult situations – both our own and those of the world. I have written a special page about “When not to choose silence“.

My life is entirely ordinary. I have been blessed in many ways throughout my life by people and circumstances. I have suffered through traumatic events that have taught me lessons and transformed my life. This is no different from you and the things I have learned are available to everyone. I offer these writings in honour and memory of my late mother, Doris. She was the greatest blessing and inspiration of my life and taught me so much through her love, words, and actions. My love for her exceeds the boundaries of time and space.

There are two major ideas at the heart of my personal philosophy: