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Have a Word with Yourself, Valencia (2025)

17/11/2025

How we perceive the world is how we receive the world

'Perception' is an ongoing fascination of mine so when it came up in a recent ACIM lesson, I was glad of the opportunity to revisit it and apply it to my circumstances. The idea that everything we see outside of us is a projection of ourselves can be a tough cookie to chew on especially if we don't like what we see around us.

The idea that by changing our perception of the world, creates a new reality, can be difficult for us to grasp because it makes us wholly responsible for our lives and the things that we experience. We might argue that we didn't want X,Y or Z to happen so why did it? whether we wanted it or not, if we believed / perceived that it would be, we created it into being....for better or worse.

Having recognised some of my own reoccurring trust issues recently, I decided to put it to the test and see how I could consciously alter my perceptions to improve it. Like anyone that's felt let down in one way or another in the past, even with a positive and optimistic mindset, trust can take time to recover. To trust, is to be open to the the potential of being let down again which, if you're still raw from previous hurt, the safer option for your nervous system is to climb back inside your shell! Knowing this about myself and having worked through similar trust issues with others gave me the motivation for a do-over.

Instead of perceiving people or situations through the eyes of potential distrust based on past events, I consciously decided to see people as being well-intentioned and helpful in the same ways that I try to be with others. Whenever I found myself replaying old memories, I would remind myself that that was from my previous perception of 'X,Y or Z' that had already played out and these thoughts were no longer valid unless I wanted to recreate what had already been.

The effect this had on me during my week was remarkable 😲

To say that my week was without challenges would be a lie, but to say that my perception of these challenges was peaceful and easily handled is the truth! The challenges I experienced were resolved by my trusting in people to be well-intentioned and wanting to help, and they were. By expecting and projecting the best from people and situations, my new perception reflected the same back to me. I've always been a firm believer in what you give out comes back to you and from having tried and tested this in my own daily life, it was a nice confirmation.

The consequence of my change in perception of others, changed how I was perceiving the events playing out around me which helped me to see how my previous perceptions had created the unfavourable situations and reactions in people - a bitter pill yes but, one with a sweet aftertaste as I no longer felt that it was anyone else's doing other than my own and this gave me a much more peaceful and empowered state of being and a clearer perspective to see people and situations in a new light.

How we perceive it, is how we receive it but don't take my word for it, try doing it for yourself and see what you experience as a result. If you'd like to know more about mindset shifting methods and simple ways to implement them into your lifestyle, please get in touch at wordwithyourself@gmail.com
2025. All rights reserved.

08/11/2025

The sacred pause

A pivotal moment that helps you after something or someone has triggered an emotional response within you. It's the difference between you reacting in an automatic sensory-led unconscious way or responding with controlled conscious awareness of your words.

Most people don't realise that they have the power to decide in this moment how they'll behave when they're only focusing on the physical sensory input that they're experiencing in their body. The sacred pause exists to give you the opportunity to become instantly aware of your choices and free will in any given moment.

To react or to respond - that is the question.

When we react without awareness it's usually a defensive reaction as a result of the sympathetic nervous system being triggered. In sensing threat, the body goes into fight or flight mode heightening the intensity of the sensory input which often leads to reactive responses. Having a balanced and regulated nervous system is really beneficial for all aspects of health and especially useful in situations where the sacred pause is called for. The easiest way to quickly calm your sympathetic nervous system is by taking a deep breath and then inhaling an extra bit before releasing your breathe slowly.

How does the sacred pause help to navigate life's challenges?

As mentioned already, the sacred pause prepares us for how we are going to respond to any given situation by flicking on the self awareness switch. From here you can decide if you're going to give your energy to a situation or not. Ask yourself, Is it worth it? Is it something that's going to allow me to express myself authentically and represent me truthfully or is it going to draw me into an emotionally reactive state that makes me feel dreadful / regretful later? Is my response coming from my ego or is it coming from my heart? What is my intention in reacting or responding this way?

When we pause before we speak we give ourselves the opportunity to check the intentions and motivations of our words, something that can change the entire outcome of a situation for better or worse. It's a tool that gives us back the power to remain true to ourselves and respond with awareness - a sacred virtue indeed!

If you'd like to explore more on this theme or would like to know how to regulate and balance your sympathetic nervous system using frequencies and binaural beats alongside breathing techniques, feel free to get in touch at wordwithyourself@gmail.com

medicine

Have a Word with Yourself 2025. All rights reserved.

26/10/2025

'Forgiveness' I feel, is something I chose in my life's plan to experience for my highest good. At 40 something I finally understand the depths of what it truly means to forgive and how to get there. I thought I'd figured out forgiveness when I'd initially moved beyond the hurt of a situation, to the understanding of it. Making logical sense of things helped me to look at it objectively and feel acceptance and even compassion but, when even the tiniest scrap of dirt (bitterness, anger, resentment) remains, it festers and infects the healthy parts nearby which later erupt as fresh pain when pressed. After being indirectly triggered recently, I decided to go back and clear out a wound with iodine and yes it stung like f@&! but now it's clear, it's closed and finally healing.

In making a conscious decision to choose peace by fully healing something, everything else worked itself out effortlessly. They say that when the student is ready, the teacher appears and this was absolutely true for me being at the right place at the right time with the teacher sharing their insight. Ripping off the plaster was a lot easier to do with the kindness and support that followed.

So here's what I learnt..

We all create our own ideas of morality and what we consider to be right and wrong, in order to define ourselves as people. When this is challenged by someone else's differing perspective, we often judge them as being wrong. Our definitions of what we think is right and wrong change as we do and vary greatly in different cultures, gender and locations. In some countries it's illegal to drink alcohol and in others it's not. This doesn't make one country right and the other one wrong, it just reflects each country's own code of conduct defining what works for their culture.

When truly forgiving someone it's necessary to accept that their perspective of the situation was true and correct in their eyes, they didn't see it as wrong based on their definition of what's right and wrong and their moral code. The role they played is one that prompts us to make a choice - do you want to be right (in your perspective) and remain angry, hurt and victimised? or do you choose peace and freedom and dissolve all hurt by seeing the bigger picture? If we want to live in a state of peace and happiness we have to consciously choose to be those things and recognise that being 'right' at the cost of your peace, is just not worth it.

Sometimes we have to forgive and let go without having received an apology and this is yet again making a conscious choice to choose your peace and closure over living with ongoing resentment.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"
Matthew 7:12

Those that truly want to live peacefully and happily in this world know that we must learn to treat others as the extensions of ourselves however different our perceptions are. We've all experienced being hurt by others and we're all guilty of hurting others intentionally or not. Does this not show us how we're all experiencing the same challenges in different forms? how forgiving others helps us to forgive our own wrong doings? and how learning to forgive and let go is the golden ticket to living a happier life?

We've all experienced pain and suffering in different ways and we all have free-will to decide what we do with it. Personally, I choose to live in peace because it feels so much better than living with resentment and sadness and stops me from projecting hurt on to others. We don't need to keep painful things active in our thoughts or feelings when we consciously choose to better ourselves for the benefit of our present reality.

In choosing to experience Forgiveness, I'm grateful to those that have given me the opportunity to fully learn to embody it through my life's experiences.

If you'd like to know more or have any questions or comments, feel free to email me at wordwithyourself@gmail.com

2025. All right reserved.

14/10/2025

Imagine if life was just a sort of game - a game to see how much you would remember about your true core self whilst picking up layer upon layer of story and identities along the way. Imagine if all the worldly noise and distractions were just obstacles to coerce us into focusing our energy onto external things that distract us from being able to connect to our inner-world for clarity and truth. But, what if we knew this and started to reject the distractions that were keeping us from our inner peace and we learned to protect our energy with discernment and conscious awareness of who we really are...what's the worst that could happen?

Maybe we'd experience life through a more peaceful lens, one that's not provoked into hatred or coerced into temptation or controlled by fear and social conditioning. Maybe this individual shift would bring about a new kind of world, a world that doesn't feed and profit from fear, separation, manipulation, lack and greed but one that's reflective of peace, equality, unity, connection and respect. A world where pulling in the same direction as a united force would result in experiencing clarity and peace on an individual and collective level. Peace that comes from knowing that there's more than enough for all of us to share and enjoy without the need for fear and separation that stem from lack and greed.

Being open-minded to be able to envision a world of unity rather than separation is a challenge for those so deeply entrenched and invested in the physical external life experience. Asking them to perceive something so different to their current experience of reality is not easy but it's not impossible either. Some however, won't want to go there because they'd have to face the reality of there being another way to be and live. They'd prefer to ride and die on their current reality because it's a comfortable and familiar path that their thoughts and actions are well practiced in telling themselves and others. This is the same for any perception or identity that you may have about yourself. The more that you think, feel and talk about it, the more it becomes reaffirmed in your subconscious mind. To change and rewrite a well versed perception or identity, requires you to re-think, re-feel and talk differently about yourself so that your subconscious mind has new fresh data to feed from that supports this change within you. When your thoughts align with your words and your actions align with your emotions, powerful changes to your perception and reality take place.

We all have the capacity to change and improve our lives and live more peacefully and harmoniously. It takes just person at a time, one family, one community and eventually one world.

If you're interested to experience a more peaceful and harmonious reality by regaining balance with your inner and outer world, I'm running a new 7-day rebalance and reconnect course that intends to do just that. To learn more email me at wordwithyourself@gmail.com and I'll be happy to share more information with you.
2025. All rights reserved.

30/09/2025

Detachment - a word that used to spark negative feelings within me, feelings of loss and abandonment but now it does the opposite. Instead of seeing detachment only in it's negative form, I made peace with it in all forms and learned to trust it's important role in my life. Looking back on the times when I resisted detachment, I can see how that resistance caused me to become trapped in a stagnant loop, I wasn't ready to let go of things, situations and people that were negatively affecting me and the familiarity of keeping these things around was the breadcrumb of hope that I used to convince myself that it was the right thing to do. As with any life lesson we're here to learn, it keeps on playing out in various ways with various individuals and situations until something happens that you can't ignore any longer. The wake up call arrives.

My wake up call may have appeared sudden on the outside, but it was really the accumulation of all that had been playing out previously that I'd chosen to ignore, deny and keep repeating over the years. As with all things we discover about ourselves, it starts with the awareness of ourselves. We become aware of our circumstances, our feelings and emotions and start to take action towards understanding them better. Through our feelings we gain understanding and acceptance of whatever's occurring and through acceptance, we find peace with it.

To detach from situations, people and things that are not positively impacting our lives or supporting our growth is a form of self love and self honouring boundaries. It's not a selfish or unkind act, it's self preservation and protection and we all have the right to do it to maintain our own peace and well-being.

Being an ex pat of 15 years in Valencia, I've become accustomed to seeing many people come and go and have made peace with the transiency of friendships and connections. It doesn't make me value these connections any less or hold me back from enjoying the experiences at the time but instead it helps me to recognise the ebs and flows of connections with others. I trust and have faith that the right people come in to my life and leave my life as and when they are supposed to. We all impact each other in many ways and we all bring different nuggets of wisdom and care to each other during different chapters of our lives. When we're not resisting letting go of things, we're allowing ourselves to be open to the new experiences and connections that are waiting to unfold.

Detachment is often hindered by fear and when we're being overly influenced by fear, it's very hard to detach from the things that we perceive as necessary to our survival, even if they're not. Fear debilitates our sense of personal power and motivation to act, it's what keeps us in the loop of non-action. To detach from fear means being able to identify what's causing the fear to arise within you. How can you perceive that fear to be less threatening? and how can you accept and make peace with it so that it doesn't hinder your forward movement?

I use frequencies to stimulate and balance the energetic centres of the body that help to release fears and allow for detachment to the things that are creating blocks, delays and stagnancy. If you'd like to know more or have any questions about the sound treatments that I provide, please get in touch via email at wordwithyourself@gmail.com

16/09/2025

I was reminded today of something that often gets overlooked as an integral part of our well being so I thought it was a good opportunity to cover it in this weeks post.

We all know that we need to eat well, sleep well and exercise to live and maintain a healthy lifestyle but despite all these tangible things that we put into action, many of us still don't feel that great - why is that?

In my opinion, we've become so hyper focused on our outer being that we've neglected our inner selves - our soul, our mind, our non physical state of being. Considering that 95% of our outward reality is determined by our non-physical subconscious side, it's no wonder that so many of us are missing the final piece of the puzzle that connects us as a whole being to true health and happiness.

Our fixation on our outer world is causing separation from our inner non-physical selves where our awareness resides and creates our perception of everything that we experience. If our perception is out of alignment, we cannot find enjoyment or happiness from any of the things that we work so hard to achieve on the outside of ourselves.

How do we reconnect and align our perception of everything that we experience?

In my opinion, the first step is the awareness and acknowledgement that we are not just a physical body having a physical experience, we are a soul / conscious being / awareness riding through life in a physical body. This physical body is responsible for feeding back all the sensory information to our brains for interpretation that results in what and how we perceive our reality to be. However we perceive our reality, is how we experience it and we have free will to perceive it as we like.

When we're living in alignment with both our physical and non-physical selves, the things that trigger us become easier to perceive as opportunities to identify and release whatever needs to be healed within us. Instead of resenting triggering things, we can learn to value and even welcome them. Yay for triggers - said through gritted teeth. Things that trigger us in our day-to-day lives give us valuable insights as to what we have going on under the surface, so it's worth paying some attention to it.

That said, if we're living with high levels of stress and little connection to our non-physical selves, the addition of further triggers can be the straw that breaks the camel's back leading to mental overwhelm and a negative perception of reality.

So how do we reconnect to our non-physical state for optimal well-being ?

Value it:
If we acknowledged the importance of this overlooked aspect of our health, we can start to perceive it as something that's worthy of our attention and hopefully that will give us the desire to implement changes into our lives to nurture it through activities like mindfullness, meditation and other forms of inner work.

Identify what's influencing your current perception:
Is your perception based on things that you have personally experienced? or is your perception relying on secondary information created by others, family, friends, news, gossip, advertising, TV etc? This is a useful step to help to us to realise the things which may have previously slipped through the awareness net and are indirectly affecting our perceived reality.

Choose to change your perception:
Identify the things that bring you peace and happiness and the things that cause you stress or overwhelm. Think about how you would like to perceive things differently regarding a personal aspect of your life and see if you can change from a feeling of resistance to it to a place of acceptance or gratitude instead. This takes practice and patience with yourself but when regularly implemented, it can very quickly change your experience of reality and demonstrate how in control of it you actually are.

Our perception of our reality is so important for living in optimal health and happiness but it can be hard to know where to start to reconnect to it if you've been out of touch with it for a long time. To learn how I use sound treatments that help to reconnect you to your non-physical wholeness and well-being, please feel free to email me for a free informal chat about how I can help.

Have a Word with Yourself 2025. All rights reserved.

04/09/2025

To welcome our new followers I thought I'd post a question that I get asked from time to time -

How are binaural beats connected to our energy centres?

It begins with our auditory system receiving the two different frequencies and the brain interpreting those frequencies to produce a third perceived tone - the binaural beat. This neural process leads to the beneficial effects on the brain from the communication that occurs across the left and right hemispheres. Not only does it increase the brain's processing activity, it also helps to regulate and balance it by syncronising the brainwaves to a coherent pattern, this is entrainment.

Using specific frequencies to create the binaural beats plays a big role in how effective they are on the listener as does the biological make-up of that individual. In general terms, it's safe to say that we all experience the broad brain states from sleep to alert each day but where we are individually within those brain states varies hugely depending on our lifestyles, mental state and physical aspects.

Our energy centres or chakras are the focal points within our meridian system that govern our physical, mental and emotional aspects. Stress will often be felt in our solar plexus and sacral chakra, nervousness and anxiety in our root chakra etc our physical symptoms are connected to our emotional states and our mental states.

⛓It's all connected⛓

Our brain is what is interpreting the body's signals from our senses and energy centres so when the brain is syncronised - in a coherent brainwave pattern, it can perform optimally and signal to the repair systems within the body to get to work where needed. Our bodies are by design constantly repairing, restoring, growing new skin, cells, blood, etc by design, the body is self healing through our innate internal feedback system and our energy centres.

In simple terms, a healthy syncronised brain has a coherent brainwave pattern that assists all the other elements of the body to function optimally, feedback clearly, repair and restore as necessary. When the body is healthy and well, everything internally is being communicated through the energy lines (meridians) and flowing as it should. There's 12 energy lines throughout our bodies and the main centres of convergence are where we commonly call the chakra points.

Coherent brainwaves = balanced chakras = flowing meridian energy lines = optimal internal feedback - healthy body, mind and emotional states.

So, listening to binaural beat music will fix everything right? not quite...

Listening to binaural beats is a complimentary therapy that supports your well-being by momentarily syncronising your brain state to that of a coherent one. For the effects of it to be long lasting and sustainable you need to consider and make changes that are required of you. It's from improving our internal well-being that we start to self reflect and gain mental clarity to seek ways to improve our external world to make changes that positively impact our lives. For some it can bring profound life changes and for others it just brings a good nights sleep. Feeling the benefits of the binaural beats should help you to gain mental clarity and the will to want to make the changes that will ultimately improve your overall emotional, physical and mental well-being.

Hope this was useful and didn't put you straight into delta! 🥱 For more information or any questions about indiviualised binaural tracks, you can email me at wordwithyourself@gmail.com

Have a Word with Yourself Have a Word With Yourself 2025.

29/08/2025

This week I was reminded of the importance of alone time and the benefits it brings when done with intention. Often people misunderstand those that need time alone due to their own personal perspectives of what's normal for them. For some people, time alone is felt as loneliness but for others it's a necessity for their health and well-being. Needing alone time doesn't mean you're anti-social or selfish, it's a self honoring act for those that need the time to process what they're absorbing throughout the day.

Before screens there were many more opportunities during the day to take a moment for checking in with yourself but nowadays for many, time alone is spent seeking a distraction of one kind or another and introspection has fallen by the wayside.

Time alone for self reflection is important for me and something I've been doing as a daily routine for many years. The discipline of checking-in with myself, mental state and thoughts is what helps to both prepare myself for the day ahead and also let go of the things from the day that I've experienced and no longer need to focus on. A simple 15 minute routine of intentional self-reflection keeps me balanced, positive and clear minded. It gives me access to my inner guidance which impacts my outer world, something that I value greatly.

Next time you're in a queue, commuting to work, waiting for a bus or find a moment to yourself, notice the urge you feel to reach for your phone but instead of doing that, just be still and set the intention to check in with yourself instead. What's your mental state currently - positive, negative, optimistic, anxious? which of your thought's are bringing you peace and which are not? How is your physical body feeling? What's your energy level like? What would make your day feel more enjoyable? Is there anything playing on your mind specifically that you're not willing to face or deal with? What could improve your current mindset?

The simple act of self observance helps to remind us that we are the ones experiencing all these thoughts, feelings and emotions through our conscious awareness and we therefore have the power to take control of our thoughts, responses and emotions at all times.

To learn more about the ways in which intentional solitude can help you to quieten your mind, hear your inner guidance and improve your emotional well-being, drop me a message and we can chat about the different ways to utilise moments of solitude that will work best for your lifestyle.

Have a Word with Yourself 2025. All rights reserved.

21/08/2025

Butterfly boops 🦋

When you're hardwired to genuinely want to help people it can difficult to stop yourself from intervening or trying to steer people away from the pitfalls that you perceive them to be heading towards. Just like watching your baby stumble as they learn to walk, you have to step back at times giving them space to take a misstep so that they can learn to correct themselves through their own personal awareness of their experience. As a result, they build resilience and confidence in themselves and learn to trust their own perceptions and footwork. Interfering with a butterfly during it's chrysalis phase is both unnecessary and detrimental to it's survival. The effort of the creature having to bust out of the tightly spun chrysalis (that it designed and built itself I might add) is what builds it's strength and dries out the mucus from it's wings so that it can take flight. By making a cut in the chrysalis to 'help' it out even with your good intentions, you're actually denying it of the vital steps that prepare it for it's life ahead. It's a good reminder that we all need the experiences we go through for one reason or another and sometimes the kindest thing you can do is step back, observe and support from the sidelines.

In overcoming personal challenges and difficult experiences to the point of experiencing acceptance and peace, we learn a great deal about ourselves which makes everything else that we go through be seen from a whole new vantage point. Without those challenges, would we experience the same growth and personal expansion? I think not.

I've always loved the saying by Ram Dass 'Were all just walking each other home' which sums up beautifully the act of supporting and guiding each other through life, not fixing each others problems but being there with compassion as we all take our own paths.

If you'd like to know how the frequency treatment that I provide supports those seeking to improve their well-being on their journeys, you can email me at wordwithyourself@gmail.com and I'll be happy to explain the treatment to you.

Have a Word with Yourself

17/11/2025

08/11/2025

26/10/2025

14/10/2025

30/09/2025

16/09/2025

04/09/2025

29/08/2025

21/08/2025

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