The Stoma Accountant

31/12/2025

It’s that time of year again — when we all reflect on what we’ve achieved during another spin around the sun.
For me, it’s never just about the last year. It’s about the time that was taken from me… seven long years lost to severe ulcerative colitis.

An autoimmune disease that slowly destroyed my colon.
Countless hospital visits.
More colonoscopies than I can count.
Hours upon hours lying curled up in excruciating pain… and far too many spent sitting on toilets, praying for relief.

That chapter of my life was hell — and I’m grateful it’s now only a reflection, not my reality.

The embarrassment of uncontrollably soiling yourself.
Walking the dog while mentally mapping out places you could run to if you didn’t make it home.
Feeling like you’re letting everyone down — unable to be the dad, the partner, the man you desperately wanted to be.
Watching your loved ones worry while you silently felt like a burden.

I don’t dwell on that past life very often, but I allow myself to remember it — because it reminds me just how far I’ve come.

Five whole years with a stoma.
Five years of minimal symptoms.
Five years of getting my life back.

My stoma didn’t take something from me — it gave me everything back.
It gave me normality.
It gave me strength.
It helped shape me into the man I am today.

And for that, I will always be grateful. ❤️

10/12/2025

10/12/2025

6 months ago when bex wernt in her right mind she found a lovelly £99 wowcher deal for a suprise christmas market trip. Thanks Ian Thomas 🤣

600 quid later we finally made it to the aiport.

Word of advice, do car checks at least 24 hours before you leave as you may need a different colour coolant to the one you usually have 🙈.

We made it here held a wee for an hour and have been frisked by the airport fuzz.

🇳🇱 PARIS here we come!! 🥐🥖

01/12/2025

Some friends of mine are going through a really tough time and need some support to help make memories.

From their post:

💔 Dear family & friends,
We would be eternally grateful if you could donate or share our GoFundMe page.

Our world has been shattered as Alex’s stage 4 HPV+ tonsil cancer has become non-curable. After enduring 7 brutal weeks of radiation and chemotherapy, the cancer has survived. What should have been a highly treatable cancer has instead become the worst case our oncologists have seen. It has taken over so much that Alex can no longer eat or drink by mouth — everything now goes through a feeding tube into his stomach.

Surgery is no longer an option. It would disfigure his face, they wouldn’t be able to get clear margins, and it could spread the cancer further. Most importantly, it would leave Alex without any quality of life.

We have been given a timeline of around a year, maybe less, maybe a little more — maybe two. Everything now depends on how his body copes with this next round of chemotherapy. He is currently undergoing five days of continuous chemotherapy, delivered through a pump connected to a vein near his chest via a PICC line. If he can tolerate it, he must do this for six cycles. 💔

Our little boy, Ace, is only 4. He adores his daddy with every part of his heart. Their bond is so special, and knowing their time is limited is a pain we can’t begin to describe.

Alex is my husband… my pickle… the man I’ve loved since I was 19. We’ve been through so much together, survived so much, and we had always dreamed of the honeymoon we never got to take because of Covid, illness, and life. We want to make memories while we still can. Our dream is to buy a motorhome and travel the UK & Europe together — me, Alex, and Ace — making the most of every moment we are blessed to have.

We always pictured our sweet Mac joining us too, but he passed suddenly in 2023. So now it’s the three of us, trying to fill our time with love, joy, and memories that will last a lifetime.

If you can help us make this dream come true — whether by donating or sharing — it would mean the world to us. ❤️
Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts. ❤️

04/10/2025

🌍💙 Today is World Ostomy Day 💙🌍

For those who don’t know—an ostomy is a surgically created opening in the abdomen that allows waste to leave the body into a bag. It can be life-saving for people with conditions like Ulcerative Colitis, Crohn’s, cancer, or other gut diseases.

8 years ago, I never imagined I’d be living with a stoma. At first, I thought it meant the end of my freedom, confidence, and identity. But here I am—living proof that it’s not the end… it’s a new beginning.

💡 My stoma gave me my life back. It means I can walk my dog, laugh with friends, travel, and dream bigger than I ever thought possible.

👉 If you’re new here, I share my journey with Ulcerative Colitis, stoma life, and invisible illness—the raw truths, the struggles, and the wins.
👉 If you’re living with a stoma (or love someone who is), know this: you’re not alone.

💬 Comment “💙” if you’re proud to be part of the ostomy community—or if you support someone who is.

Let’s break the stigma, raise awareness, and show the world that life with a stoma is still worth celebrating.

04/10/2025

🌍💙 Today is World Ostomy Day 💙🌍

For those who don’t know—an ostomy is a surgically created opening in the abdomen that allows waste to leave the body into a bag. It can be life-saving for people with conditions like Ulcerative Colitis, Crohn’s, cancer, or other gut diseases.

8 years ago, I never imagined I’d be living with a stoma. At first, I thought it meant the end of my freedom, confidence, and identity. But here I am—living proof that it’s not the end… it’s a new beginning.

💡 My stoma gave me my life back. It means I can walk my dog, laugh with friends, travel, and dream bigger than I ever thought possible.

👉 If you’re new here, I share my journey with Ulcerative Colitis, stoma life, and invisible illness—the raw truths, the struggles, and the wins.
👉 If you’re living with a stoma (or love someone who is), know this: you’re not alone.

💬 Comment “💙” if you’re proud to be part of the ostomy community—or if you support someone who is.

Let’s break the stigma, raise awareness, and show the world that life with a stoma is still worth celebrating.

18/09/2025

✨🎂💖 Happy 1st Birthday to our beautiful granddaughter, Anaveah! 💖🎂✨

It’s hard to believe a whole year has passed since you came into our lives. You’ve filled our hearts with so much love, laughter, and happiness in just 12 short months. Watching you grow, learn, and discover the world has been the greatest gift. 🌸🌈

We can’t wait to see the amazing little person you’re becoming. 💕 Here’s to many more giggles, cuddles, and milestones ahead.

We love you more than words can say, pikachu 👑💝

09/09/2025

✨🎉 Happy 24th Birthday to my daughter Megan! 🎉✨

What are you watching? 🙈🤣

I honestly don’t know where the years have gone – it feels like only yesterday you were little, and now you’re this incredible, strong, beautiful young woman!

Here’s to 24 years of laughter, love, and memories – and to so many more ahead. 🥂❤️

21/08/2025

Happy 4th Wedding Anniversary ❤️

Wow, where has the time gone! Four years ago today, I married my gawjus wifey, my soulmate, and the love of my life. Here’s to us and all the adventures still to come 💕

02/08/2025

"Happy 12th Birthday to our gawjus girl! We can't believe how fast the years have flown by. You're growing into such a smart, kind, and sensible young lady — we’re so proud of you!

29/06/2025

| Behind the Scenes: Making the Invisible Visible

Hey, I’m Chris — or The Stoma Accountant as some of you know me.
⠀
I lived with Ulcerative Colitis for 8 years and trust me, it’s was a wild ride. It started with a misdiagnosis, turned into constant pain, accidents, and hospital trips… and eventually ended with me needing my colon removed. That’s when I got my stoma.

I usually keep my bag on in pics — not because I’m ashamed, but because stomas have a mind of their own. You never know when they’re going to be active. But not today. Today’s about what’s really going on behind the scenes.

The truth is, living with a digestive condition means dealing with a lot no one else can see. Pain, fear, exhaustion… but also strength, healing, and an amazing community of people who get it.

This is me showing up — no filters, no cover-up, just real life. And if you’re going through something similar, you’re definitely not alone.

21/06/2025

🌴☀️ Turkish sunshine, belly laughs & belly dancers... 🇹🇷

Just got back from the most unforgettable trip to Aqi Pegasus World with the gang – 10 of us soaking up the sun, the snacks, and the seriously good vibes 💦🍹

☀️ Poolside chilling most days
🌊 Waterpark and foam party thrills for the kids
🏛️ Day trip to Side Old Town for ancient ruins & dodgy knock-offs (a must 😂)
🍽️ All-inclusive heaven: breakfasts, lunches, dinners + sneaky snack bars
🔥 Nightly shows that blew us away – fire jugglers, circus acts & more
🍷 Ventured out twice:
1️⃣ Guvans – a hidden gem owned by Jo from Manchester (top food, warm vibes)
2️⃣ Bill Cosby's Steakhouse – Transformers, Batman, a belly dancer, and a fire breather… what more do you want?!

Private beach, palm trees, fish spotting, sunburns (oops) and memories for life 🌊🌞🫶

Already planning our next one...