Jolanta Deneux

03/01/2026

You stop trying to make people better when you realize they already know what they are doing. You also realize you never had control over them in the first place.

Most choices are not ignorance. They are comfort, preference.
You watch patterns instead of explanations. And you stop offering access to people who learned you would stay no matter what, and you start valuing yourself.

30/12/2025

Some people clap for you.
Some people move you forward 💅🏼

22/12/2025

The question isn’t what you receive.
It’s what you believe you deserve.
Because you are not responsible
for everything you receive,
but for what you accept.

19/12/2025

Blame is one of the skins to shed in the symbolic Year of the Snake 🐍 You don’t think so? 💃🏻💅🏼

16/12/2025

13/12/2025

Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions. It often gets labeled as dangerous or explosive or irrational. But what if the real issue is not the anger itself, but how we relate to it?

Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions. It often gets labeled as dangerous or explosive or irrational. But what if the real issue is not the anger itself, but how we relate to it?

11/12/2025

You see their name pop up and your chest tightens. Stop. Say in your mind: « I wish you peace ». You remember something they did and you feel the old anger. Stop. Recall one neutral or positive memory. Even something small like they once helped you with something…. You bump into them and feel the energy drop. Stop. In your mind say: « I wish you well. »

If nothing positive comes to mind, send peace. Always send peace. Even if they’re not open to receive it, it will come back to you.

It is not about positive thinking, or whatever. When you stop engaging with negative emotions toward someone, your internal state changes. You stop reacting, you stop feeding the cycle, and you stop sending out cues that invite more conflict. You literally become less available for negativity.

In psychology this is called breaking the feedback loop. If one side stops feeding the loop, the loop weakens.

And when you genuinely shift how you feel about that person, even if you never speak again, something can shift in them too. They sense that the conflict is no longer alive. They no longer get the emotional energy they used to get from you. Or your lack of reaction removes the “reward” for their negativity. Once the dynamic changes, their behavior naturally changes too.

Have you noticed that when one person changes the pattern, the pattern itself changes?

Because the door gets closed. And when you close the door inside yourself, negativity loses the place it used to land. Without a place to land, it eventually stops coming. This is how you stabilize energy.

04/12/2025

When people get angry they often fail to take responsibility for their own feelings. How many times have you thought or said, “He made me angry,” She pi**ed me off,” or “They made me furious”? With these types of statements you imply that your angry feelings lie outside of your control. You are, alas, just a helpless victim whose emotions have to dramatically rise and fall depending on how the world treats you. If outside events really made us angry, we would all respond the same way to similar happenings.

But different people react differently to the same events. In fact, you rarely respond the same way at all times to the same situation. What accounts for these different emotional reactions? In most cases it is your beliefs about what is happening that shape your emotions. With anger this can feel especially automatic. Frustration hits and your reaction feels instantaneous, as if rage simply appears and takes over. Yet it’s you-and not those other rotten people-create your rage. That is the uncomfortable truth and also the liberating one.

What helps is remembering that anger itself is not the problem. Anger is a signal. It tells you something feels off or threatened or violated. The issue is what happens next. The reaction that follows the signal is what requires the real work. The beliefs you attach to the trigger, the interpretation you choose, the impulse you act on…. these are the places where you break the loop.

Remember- Anger points. You decide where to go from there.

02/12/2025

You have every right to have needs. We all do. But you also have to be honest about how you show up for the person you expect to meet those needs. You cannot ask someone to pour into your cup if their cup is empty. Nourishing must be mutual. Otherwise it is not fair to demand what you are not willing to give.

25/11/2025

Elder Zosima
“The Brothers Karamazov”

Powerful reflections from my favorite author about the human inclination toward self loving offense, about how people sometimes receive a secret pleasure from feeling themselves insulted, and precisely from this pleasantness of offense arise quarrels and enmity.

22/11/2025

This graphic is inspired by Dale’s Cone of Learning. The original cone has been debunked in its exact percentages, yet the idea behind the visual still points to something essential.

Learning is not just mental. The brain learns through sensory input. When more senses are involved the nervous system forms more connections, the information becomes easier to recall, and the experience becomes part of memory rather than just something you understood for a moment. If someone only relies on passive intake the information stays abstract. The body is not involved in the process, so nothing anchors deep enough.

Dale’s intention was never to assign exact percentages. His cone was meant as a metaphor that shows the difference between passive learning and active learning. Not to judge learning styles but to show how different levels of engagement shape understanding.

Passive learning stays in the head. Reading alone or listening alone gives you awareness, but it does not train your system to use the information. You might understand something perfectly well and still have no ability to apply it in real life, because the experience never reached the body. That’s why we are all smart in theory, but how many of us actually know what we’re talking about?

We need to EXPERIENCE the theory. Active learning brings the senses together. Speaking. Writing. Practicing. Visualizing. Demonstrating. These are multisensory activities. When you see, hear and do at the same time the information becomes embodied. The body learns. It becomes something you can act on. So the understanding becomes functional rather than theoretical. You actually know what you preach, so to speak.

So let’s use this graphic as a reminder. Not as science but as truth about how humans actually learn. We need to interact with what we learn. We need to teach our system how to use the information. If you only read you might understand. But if you want to retain it and apply it you have to experience it. You have to DO. So next time you read a self help book or listen to an informative podcast apply what you learned immediately. And keep doing it every day, until you KNOW what you’re talking about.