01/04/2026
I was first introduced to Lilith when I was 19, by a boy- the first other magic practitioner I had ever knowingly met. A long haired chaos magician named Andrew. I called him Drew , because my brain totally didn't recognise him as an Andrew - weird past life thing right there...- Anyway, the boy went on to win my virginity and then to break my heart. We stayed in touch on and off down the years, and he is as far as I know, alive and well. But we don't talk.
Sometimes people in your life mark you a little deeper. He was one of those people.
I went on to love other men, wholly and truly. I even married twice. But this boy's imprint never went away.
I have often wondered why this is- why he affected me so very much, and I think part of it is this: He was the first person I knew who saw the world through similar eyes to mine. Who understood about magic. Who heard the call of the old gods. He recognised and awoke in me a part of me that I had until then repressed or been afraid of.
He awoke the Lilith in me.
No, Her influence was already there - but it was that he gave me a name with which to call her. A way to understand this part of me.
To honour her rather than to fear her.
Perhaps that is why he was so significant, just for bringing me to Lilith.
Although I do suspect it would not have been long before our parts would have crossed regardless...🖤
Lilith is most often remembered for one act, leaving Eden. Refusing to submit. Speaking the name that gave her power, and walking away from what was meant to contain her.
But her story does not end at the gate.
It begins there.
After the garden, Lilith is no longer part of a controlled world. She enters the wilderness, the unknown, the spaces that exist beyond order and expectation. And this is where her transformation takes place not into something lesser, but into something unbound.
In later traditions, she is cast as a demon, a night spirit, something to be feared. But that shift says more about perception than it does about her.
Because what is a woman who cannot be controlled, cannot be silenced, and cannot be returned?
She becomes a story people warn others about.
Lilith is said to dwell near the Red Sea, in desolate places, in the night itself. She is associated with winds, with shadows, with the unseen. Not because she is chaos but because she exists outside of systems that require obedience.
And yet, there is power in that exile.
She is no longer defined by partnership, by role, or by expectation. She answers to nothing beyond herself. She becomes something ancient in feeling closer to instinct, to autonomy, to a form of existence that does not ask permission to be.
Her story is often framed as a fall.
But what if it was a departure?
What if leaving was not the loss of paradise
but the refusal to live in something that required her to be less than what she was?
After Eden, Lilith is not softened.
She is not redeemed.
She is remembered.
Not as the one who stayed.
But as the one who chose herself and became something the world could no longer define or contain.
