One Step at a Time Counselling

04/12/2025

Christmas isn’t always a happy time.

Feeling grief or sadness at Christmas is far more common than people often admit. While the festive period is focussed on joy, cosy gathering filled with family and friends, those very expectations can sometimes amplify loneliness, loss, and emotional exhaustion.

If you’re struggling, you’re not alone, and there is nothing “wrong” with finding this time of year difficult.

Christmas can act like a spotlight on emotions you’ve otherwise been managing so this is a gentle reminder that it’s completely normal to:
Miss someone who has died, no matter how long ago
Feel “out of step” with other people’s festive excitement
Want to skip certain traditions
Feel guilty for experiencing joy - or for not experiencing it
Need more rest, space or quiet than usual

Here are some different ways to cope at this time of year:
1. Loosen the expectations
You don’t have to recreate the “perfect” Christmas. It’s OK to simplify plans, skip events, or do something entirely different this year.

2. Honour the person you’re missing
Some people find comfort in small rituals such as lighting a candle, hanging a decoration in memory of a loved one, visiting a special place, or cooking a favourite meal.

3. Create boundaries
If certain gatherings feel too much, it’s OK to leave early or decline.

4. Allow feelings rather than suppressing them
Grief and sadness can coexist with moments of warmth or laughter. Neither cancels the other. Giving yourself permission to feel whatever arises can reduce the pressure.

5. Seek comfort in connection - big or small
A phone call, a coffee with a trusted friend, or even a short walk with someone supportive can ease loneliness.

6. Find alternatives to loneliness if you’re spending Christmas alone
Ideas including joining a community lunch or charity event, volunteering (though only if you genuinely feel up to it), spending the day how you want: films, comfort food, rest, hobbies, or visiting cafés, parks or public spaces where you can be around others without pressure.

You do not have to be alone at Christmas, there are still organisations offering free, confidential support over the Christmas period. I will be posting contact details of these organisations very soon.

25/11/2025

Feeling overwhelmed?

We juggle so much in our everyday lives. From heavy workloads, long commute times, running a household, to taking care of family members young or old, it's so easy to end up pushing past their your, especially at this time of year.

Setting healthy boundaries is one of the most effective ways to prevent and manage overwhelm and are especially important for protecting mental wellbeing.

Here’s why they matter and how they can help:

1. They protect your mental health
Boundaries create a clear separation between what you can take on and what you shouldn’t.

2. They reduce work-related overwhelm
Boundaries such as fixed work hours, protected breaks, and screen-free time in the evenings help re-establish balance and prevent work from spilling into personal life.

3. They improve relationships
Setting boundaries whether with colleagues, family, or friends helps others understand your needs and prevents resentment. Saying “no” or requesting space is healthier than silently overextending yourself.

4. They support better energy management
When you have limits, you can prioritise rest, hobbies, and social connection, all of which contribute to resilience. Boundaries create the breathing room needed to recharge.

5. They increase clarity and reduce pressure
Overwhelm often comes from uncertainty and competing demands. Boundaries provide structure: when people know what to expect from you, you don’t have to manage constant negotiation, guilt, or last-minute requests.

Here’s some examples of what they look like:
At work
• Blocking out lunch breaks and actually stepping away from your desk.
• Turning off notifications outside contracted hours.
• Agreeing realistic deadlines instead of automatically saying yes.
• Using “I” statements, e.g., “I don’t have capacity for this today; can we schedule it for next week?”

At home
• Setting quiet time or personal space when living in shared accommodation.
• Establishing device-free hours to unwind.
• Clarifying division of chores so you’re not taking on everything yourself.

With friends & family
• Letting people know when you need downtime instead of forcing yourself to socialise.
• Not responding to messages immediately - your time is your own.

Remember: boundaries aren’t selfish. They protect your health and make your relationships healthier.

20/11/2025

Relatable?

*Shared from another group.

17/11/2025

This Wednesday - 19th November..

We're taking part in the Men's Health Awareness Day, organised by NHS Health on the High Street, on Wednesday (19th November).

Please pop in to High Street, Unit 33 in Friars Square shopping centre, Aylesbury and find out more about which of our mental health services is right for you. Looking forward to meeting you!

You can also find out about lots of other health factors including diabetes, cardiac/cholesterol/blood pressure, prostate cancer, sports/occupational injuries, dietary, drugs/alcohol issues, employment and health.

Health on the High Street is a joint initiative between Buckinghamshire Healthcare NHS Trust and Be Healthy Bucks

Buckinghamshire Council

03/11/2025

This week, from 3rd to 8th November, is Fertility Awareness Week. The aim of the week is to raise awareness of fertility and fertility treatment issues across the UK, to challenge the taboos and myths around infertility, and to provide signposting support to help people know that they are not alone.

I’m particularly interested in the emotional side. Trying to conceive or going through fertility treatment can bring hope, frustration, and grief - sometimes all at once. There can be many ups and downs alongside periods of waiting and prolonged uncertainty. This week is shining a light on support available to you whether you’re at the beginning of your journey, in treatment, or processing outcomes.

Whether you’re at the beginning, in treatment, or processing outcomes, you deserve space to talk and be heard. With over 3.5 million people in the UK go through some kind of fertility challenge you are not alone.

Fertility Network UK have a support and information line 01424 732361. Both Fertility Network UK and Fertility Alliance have information about online support or groups and events on their websites.

https://fertilitynetworkuk.org

https://thefertilityalliance.org.uk/supporting-you/

01/11/2025

You don't have to be alone.

This Movember remember:

Reaching out for help is not a weakness, it’s a strength. If you or someone you love is finding things difficult, support is available day and night.

Samaritans https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/talk-us-phone/
NHS https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/
SHOUT https://giveusashout.org/
CALM https://www.thecalmzone.net/
Mind https://www.mind.org.uk/

Share with others as a reminder. 💙

09/10/2025

Today marks the start of Baby Loss Awareness Week 2025 running from 9th - 15th October.

Did you know that everyday in the UK there are:
273 miscarriages
7 stillbirths
10 terminations for medical reasons
5 neonatal deaths*

and that each year at least 12,000 women in the UK have ectopic pregnancies diagnosed. **

This week has a personal meaning for me and I will be making sure that I take some time to honour and remember the lives of babies lost during pregnancy, at birth, or in infancy.

As a counsellor, I stand with all those affected by this deeply personal grief; parents, siblings, families, and friends. The pain of baby loss is often invisible to others, but its impact is profound and lasting. You are not alone in your journey.

Whether your loss is recent or years past, this week is a space to reflect, to and to grieve.

*source: Petals
**source: The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

07/10/2025

18/09/2025

This week is World Childless Week (15th - 21st September) which aims to raise awareness of childlessness not by choice.

Whilst this week focuses on those childless not by choice, I also feel acutely aware of those who have made the choice to be childless.

Whether by choice or not by choice the road ahead can be filled with obstacles. Some people may be navigating grief, others may feel isolated, misunderstood, or left out of conversations or events around them.

I've attached below a link to some free events that are taking place this week on the subject of childless not by choice:

https://worldchildlessweek.net/whats-on

I have also attached a link to We are Childfree, a global community celebrating childfree lives:

https://wearechildfree.com/

My thoughts are with anyone struggling with the impact of Childlessness.

31/08/2025

29/08/2025

🌅 End of Summer, New Beginnings 🌱

Professional Counselling Support to Help You Reset.

As summer begins to wind down, you may be feeling a mix of emotions — from anxiety about change, to sadness, to the stress of transitioning into a new stage of life.

Whether you're adjusting to a new routine, or simply needing space to reflect, I’m here to help.

🌟 What I Offer:
• One-to-one counselling (in-person & online)
• Support for stress and anxiety, depression, bereavement, life transitions, and burnout
• A safe, non-judgmental space to talk things through

📅 Book a free 30-minute consultation
No pressure, no obligation, just an opportunity to understand more about the way I work and to ask any questions that you may have.

You can visit my website for more information:

💻 https://counsellingonestepatatime.co.uk

📍Located in Bedgrove, Aylesbury

18/08/2025

I often talk about self-care, but have you ever considered the alternative; self -neglect?!

Self-neglect can be physical, emotional and/or cognitive and may look like:
• Ignoring your own emotional needs
• Suppressing emotions or avoiding inner reflection
• Staying in toxic relationships out of fear or habit
• Not setting boundaries, letting others consistently take advantage
• Chronic self-criticism or neglecting self-compassion
• Avoiding or forgetting important tasks (bills, appointments, etc.)
• Struggling to maintain routines or organise daily life
• Letting responsibilities pile up until they become crises
• Withdrawing from friends and family
• Avoiding social interactions even when lonely
• Feeling disconnected from purpose, values, or beliefs
• Wearing dirty or inappropriate clothing
• Ignoring or refusing to seek medical treatment
• Poor diet or not eating regularly

How many resonated with you?

Self-neglect isn't about laziness or lack of willpower. It often reflects deeper struggles like depression, trauma, burnout, or chronic overwhelm. Recognising these signs is the first step towards change.

To find out how I can help you can visit my website:
https://counsellingonestepatatime.co.uk