http://www.rep-coaching.org.uk/

Ruth Pearson - Forward Living, Bangor (2026)

28/01/2026

Unpopular opinion: “Fake it till you make it” only works up to a point.

Yes, there is truth in it.
Sometimes we do have to act before we feel ready. Confidence often follows action, not the other way around.

But here’s the bit that rarely gets talked about.

If you fake it too much, for too long, your nervous system clocks it. And when that happens, people don’t feel more confident, they feel like a fraud.

That’s where imposter syndrome creeps in.
That tight chest.
That background anxiety.
That constant feeling of “when will they realise I don’t belong here?”

From a behaviour change and psychology perspective, this makes sense. We can only move as fast as our nervous system feels safe to go. When we keep pushing ourselves to perform confidence we don’t feel, the body stays in threat mode. More tension, more anxiety, more self doubt.

That doesn’t mean we stay stuck or wait to feel fearless.

It means we take small, tolerable steps outside our comfort zone, then we regulate. We let the body catch up. Then we take the next step.

This approach is especially important for people who already feel like they don’t fit in, don’t quite know who they are, or have spent years overriding themselves to cope.

I’m curious what you think.

Does “fake it till you make it” work for you, or has it ever made things harder?

I’m genuinely open to respectful disagreement.

27/01/2026

If you’re holding it together on the outside, but inside you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or quietly exhausted, this is for you.

You might be coping well enough.
Getting things done.
Being the one others rely on.

But somewhere along the way, you stopped feeling like you.

You don’t need the right words.
You don’t need a plan.
You don’t need to know what comes next.

Sometimes the next step is simply being heard, properly heard, without judgement, fixing, or pressure.

So here’s the invitation.
If this is landing, send me a DM.

No pressure. No pitch.
Just a real conversation where you can talk, feel understood, and maybe feel a little lighter by the end.

You don’t have to decide anything today.

DM me the word “READY” and we’ll start there.
Because you are worth that space, even now.

27/01/2026

There was a point in my life where I genuinely didn’t know how I’d ended up there.

No clear direction. Very little self-belief. Carrying the weight of homelessness, abusive relationships, and a constant sense of just trying to cope rather than actually live.

Alcohol became a way to numb the noise.
Not because I was reckless, but because I didn’t yet have the tools to sit with what hurt.
I felt lost, ashamed, and quietly convinced that other people had something I didn’t; resilience, confidence, a future.

From the outside, I kept going.
Inside, I felt fractured.

⸻

The shift: not a breakthrough, a decision

There wasn’t a dramatic “everything changed” moment.
The shift was smaller, and braver.

I started believing just enough to take one next step.
I noticed tiny things to be grateful for, even when life was still hard.
I learned to ask for help.
I learned to talk instead of carrying everything alone.

Most importantly, I stopped seeing my struggles as proof that I was broken — and started seeing them as information.

⸻

Now: steady, grounded, still human

Today, I’ve completed a PhD.
I’m building my own business.
I have a growing sense of peace, not because life is perfect, but because I know how to regulate my nervous system and come back to myself.

I still have emotions. I still have hard days.
But I trust myself now.

⸻

What this taught me — and how it shapes my work

I learned that even in the most dire situations, hope exists, and no chapter is permanent.
I’m stronger than I ever thought possible, precisely because of what I’ve survived.

This is why I do the work I do now.
I don’t coach from theory.
I guide from lived experience, psychology, and compassion, helping others rebuild self-belief, feel safe in their bodies, and move forward without bypassing their truth.

If this resonates, I’d love to know:
What season of your journey are you in right now; surviving, shifting, or rebuilding?

24/01/2026

There’s a particular kind of overwhelm that doesn’t come from not coping.
It comes from coping with too much.

Trying to keep everything going.
Multiple commitments.

Work you care about, work you feel you should care about.

And a body quietly saying, this is a lot.

When this client and I started working together, this was her reality.

Two online businesses.

Part-time work.

A chronic health condition affecting her energy.

And a constant sense of overwhelm that made everything feel heavier than it needed to be.

In our weekly one-to-one sessions, we didn’t push, fix, or optimise.
We slowed things down.
Got curious.
And looked honestly at what was draining her, and what actually mattered.

As she said:

“I realised I was doing too much, and it was adding so much overwhelm and stress to my life.”

Together, she made a big but deeply aligned decision, letting go of the work that caused the most stress and focusing on what brought her the most meaning.🎉💓

The result?

“Now I feel more balanced and confident. I can cope when stressful situations pop up, and I’m excited about the future.”

This is what person-centred coaching looks like.
Not telling someone what to do, but helping them hear themselves more clearly.♥️❤️

✨ If this resonates, you’re not broken, you might just be carrying too much.
💬 DM me if this speaks to you, or comment with your biggest takeaway.

23/01/2026

This week I’ve been doing a visibility challenge.

On the surface, it’s about showing up more,
posting,
speaking,
letting myself be seen.

But what surprised me wasn’t a wobble in confidence, it was my body.

Tight chest,
restlessness,
a subtle urge to pull back.

And here’s the thing, I didn’t feel scared in my head.
There was no clear story, no obvious fear.

The fear was older than words.

What I’ve been reminded of, and this is important if you’re trying to change anything in your life, is this:

👉 Not all fear is conscious.
👉 And not all resistance is sabotage.

Sometimes the body reacts as if visibility = danger, even when your mind knows you’re safe, capable, and ready.

This is why so many people start something meaningful, a business, a boundary, a new chapter, and then quietly retreat. Not because they’re lazy or inconsistent, but because their nervous system hasn’t caught up yet.

So the work isn’t “push harder”.

The work is,
slowing down,
noticing bodily signals,
creating safety inside before demanding bravery outside.

I’m actively working on resetting my nervous system so visibility feels safe, not threatening. That’s the real edge of growth.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why do I feel anxious when I’m doing the thing I actually want?”, this might be why.

Nothing’s wrong with you.
Your body is just asking to be brought along, not overridden.

A question for you,
where might your body be holding a fear your mind hasn’t named yet?

That’s often where the next level of your life begins.

22/01/2026

What if making change didn’t feel like such a fight with yourself?

If you’ve ever started something new,
a habit, a boundary, a plan for you,
and then found yourself suddenly exhausted, tense, or wanting to stop…

That’s not a lack of willpower.
That’s your nervous system.

Here’s one simple thing you can do today to help your body feel safe enough to keep going:

A 2-minute settling breath
1. Sit or stand somewhere comfortable. No “perfect posture” needed.
2. Inhale gently through your nose for 4.
3. Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6.
4. Let your shoulders drop as you breathe out.
5. Repeat for 5–10 rounds.

That longer exhale is the key.
It tells your nervous system: “I’m not in danger.”

A really common mistake I see:
People start breathing practices with loads of enthusiasm…
then stop after a couple of days because it feels uncomfortable or “weird”.

That discomfort doesn’t mean it’s not working.
It often means your system is learning something new.

Behaviour change isn’t just about what you want.
It’s about what your body feels safe enough to allow.

So try this today:
once before you start something that matters,
or when you notice the urge to quit.

No fixing. No forcing.
Just a few breaths that say: “I’m safe to be here.”

Let me know how it feels.
Small steps, done gently, change everything. 💛

15/01/2026

Finish this sentence (gut answer, not polished):

“My youngest turned 18 today. After 31 years of raising kids, I’m still a mum — but now to adults. Less fixing. More trusting.

Alongside the pride, there’s sadness… and underneath both, a quiet sense of what might now be possible.

So I’m asking myself: who am I now?

👉 Finish this sentence:
‘Now that my kids are grown, I am _______.’

All answers welcome. Even the messy, contradictory ones.”

14/01/2026

You don’t need permission to say no to things that don’t align with your values or your goals.

And yet, so many of us feel like we do.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that saying no is selfish, awkward, or unkind. That we should be grateful for every opportunity. That keeping the peace matters more than listening to ourselves. So we say yes out of obligation, habit, or fear of what others might think.

But that yes often comes at a cost.

When you keep choosing what’s expected over what’s aligned, resentment creeps in. Energy drains. You end up overwhelmed and disconnected, not because you’re doing nothing, but because you’re doing too much of what doesn’t actually fit.

Recently, I caught myself about to say yes to something that didn’t sit right. There was no big drama, just that familiar inner tightening. Old me would’ve ignored it and pushed through. This time, I paused… and chose differently. The relief that followed told me everything I needed to know.

Saying no isn’t about rejecting people. It’s about choosing yourself. It’s about protecting your time, your energy, and your integrity.

So consider this your permission slip (even though you never needed one):

Pause before your next yes.
Check in with your values.
Choose alignment over obligation.

What are you ready to say no to (without over-explaining) this week?

13/01/2026

January has a funny way of stripping things back.

The adrenaline of December has gone, the weather’s grey, routines are creaking back into place… and suddenly the cracks are louder.
You’re functioning. Showing up. Smiling.
But inside? You’re tired in a way sleep doesn’t fix.

This image came up in my memories and it still fits; maybe even more now.

Because January isn’t just about “new goals”. It’s often when the emotional backlog arrives. When caring responsibilities feel heavier, when your role as mum is shifting again, and when you realise how long it’s been since you were on the list.

What I’ve learned since first sharing this is this:
You don’t rediscover yourself by waiting for more time or energy.
You do it by allowing yourself to matter now, even in the middle of winter, even when life is full.

You’re allowed to feel flat and still want more.
You’re allowed to look capable and still need support.
Both can be true.

So I’m curious; no fixing, no pressure:
👉 What part of you has been quietly waiting for some attention lately?

If this resonates, drop a ❤️ or share a word in the comments. You’re not the only one feeling this.

12/01/2026

Day 1 of showing up more visibly.

Not because I’ve cracked life or have everything perfectly figured out, but because something in my body keeps saying yes.
A quiet, steady yes that gets louder when I stop overthinking and start listening.

For a long time I’ve felt the pull to speak more honestly about identity, confidence, and what happens when women outgrow the boxes they’ve been put in.
Not in a shouty, hustle way, but in a real, embodied way.

This is me committing to following what feels energising and true, even when it feels vulnerable.
Less proving. More responding.

If you’ve ever felt a nudge to show up differently, but ignored it because it felt safer to stay small, I see you.

What’s something your body’s been quietly saying yes to lately?

Ruth Pearson - Forward Living

28/01/2026

27/01/2026

27/01/2026

24/01/2026

23/01/2026

22/01/2026

15/01/2026

14/01/2026

13/01/2026

12/01/2026

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