Cathyandrewstherapy

11/12/2025

Are you a people-pleaser?

Many people think of “people-pleasing” as simply being nice or helpful.
But people-pleasing, known as fawning is something much deeper, and far more painful.

Psychological fawning is a trauma-response where a person automatically prioritises someone else’s needs, emotions, or comfort at the expense of their own.
It’s the nervous system trying to stay safe by avoiding conflict, rejection, or anger.

It often sounds like:

💬 “It’s fine, don’t worry about me.”
💬 “Whatever you want, I’m easy.”
💬 “I’ll fix it, just don’t be upset.”
💬 “I don’t want to burden anyone.”

And it often feels like:
• Walking on eggshells
• Overexplaining or over-apologising
• Constantly monitoring others’ moods
• Feeling guilty when you set boundaries
• Losing touch with your own preferences, desires, or identity

Fawning is not weakness, it’s a learned survival strategy many people developed in childhood or in past relationships where staying small felt safer than being themselves.

But here’s the hopeful part:
You can unlearn fawning.

Healing begins when you start to:

✨ Notice when you abandon yourself
✨ Pause before saying “yes”
✨ Allow small boundaries to exist
✨ Let other people manage their own emotions
✨ Reconnect with what you actually want

As you learn to value your needs and voice, relationships shift.
Some fall away. Others deepen.
And you begin to show up as someone who is no longer surviving, but living.

If this resonates, you’re not alone. Healing from fawning is possible, and it’s one of the most empowering journeys you can take. You don’t have to heal from fawning alone either, I can help.

DM me for a free telephone consultation.

08/12/2025

01/12/2025

December can be a beautiful month… but it can also be heavy.
As the year winds down, many people feel the pressure to “be festive,” even when they’re carrying stress, grief, loneliness, or unresolved emotions.

Therapy in December can be a space to pause, breathe, and make sense of everything you’ve held this year.
A space to notice your growth.
A space to release what no longer fits.
A space to step into the new year with clarity and gentleness.

If this month feels overwhelming, you don’t have to move through it alone. 💛

28/11/2025

✨Unsolicited Advice✨
What Does It Really Mean?
And Why You Don’t Have To Take It ✨

When someone gives you advice you didn’t ask for, it can feel intrusive, confusing, or even a little invalidating.
But here’s something grounding to remember:

Often, their advice is coming from their own internal world, not yours.

Ever wondered why people give unsolicited advice:
✨They feel uncomfortable seeing you struggle and want to “fix” it
✨Your situation stirs up their own past experiences
✨They want to feel useful or in control
✨They genuinely care, they just don’t know how to hold space
✨They’re speaking from their fears, their values, or their story, not yours

And none of that makes you obligated to take it.

You’re allowed to pause, breathe, and check in with yourself:
“Does this align with who I am and what I need?”

If not, you can let it drift past gently, no defensiveness, no guilt.

You can thank them for caring, while still choosing what feels right for you.

Because healthy boundaries sound like:
“I hear you… and I’ll trust myself on this.”

You are allowed to honour your own pace, your own healing, and your own voice.
Not every piece of advice is meant for your path, and that’s okay. ✨

26/11/2025

Time might be measured by clocks, but its value is measured by how others treat it.
Choose relationships where your time, energy, and presence are appreciated,
because nothing you give is more precious than the moments you’ll never get back.

25/11/2025

✨Albert Einstein once said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.”
And while he wasn’t talking about therapy, he captured one of its greatest truths.✨

In therapy, we learn to step outside the patterns that keep us stuck, old beliefs, old wounds, old ways of reacting that once protected us but now limit us.
Growth begins the moment we allow ourselves to think differently, feel differently, and see ourselves with more compassion.

If you’ve been trying to “think your way out” of anxiety, pain, heartbreak, or self-doubt… maybe it’s time to create a new mindset entirely.

This is what healing looks like:
✨ challenging outdated beliefs
✨ becoming aware of unconscious patterns
✨ learning healthier emotional responses
✨ choosing new possibilities, not old fears

Einstein reminds us that transformation doesn’t happen by pushing harder, it happens by shifting perspective.

And therapy is where that shift begins. 💛

23/11/2025

✨Let people be who they are for your own Peace.✨

It’s not always easy, especially when their choices feel selfish, confusing, or hurtful. But the truth is:
People do what they want. They act from their own beliefs, wounds, priorities, and desires… not ours.

Is it selfish sometimes? Yes.
Can you change their behaviour? No, and trying to will only drain your energy and damage your peace.

So what are your options?

✨ 1. Accept who they are
Not in a defeated way, but with clarity. This is who they choose to be right now.

✨ 2. Communicate your boundaries
You can’t control them, but you can choose what behaviour you allow into your life.

✨ 3. Protect your peace
Step back, limit contact, or adjust expectations if needed. Distance is not punishment, I t’s self-care.

✨ 4. Focus on your own behaviour
Shift the energy from “How do I change them?” to “What do I need to feel grounded and valued?”

✨ 5. Surround yourself with reciprocal people.
The right people don’t make you beg for respect, effort, or honesty.

At the end of the day, you can’t rewrite someone else’s story,
but you can choose the role you play in it.

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19/11/2025

Did You Know That Colours Shape Our Emotions?

We don’t often think about it, but colour is one of the quietest therapists in our environment.
It touches our nervous system, influences our mood, and communicates with the parts of us that words don’t always reach.

Here’s how colour can support emotional wellbeing:

🌿 Green — Regulation & Safety
Green mirrors nature. It signals “you’re safe,” helping the body move out of tension and into calm. When you feel overwhelmed, notice how even a glimpse of plants or natural tones helps your breath soften.

🔵 Blue — Stability & Clarity
Blue slows the heart rate and invites clear thinking. It’s a grounding colour when your mind feels scattered, anxious, or overstimulated.

💛 Yellow — Energy & Hope
Yellow can be uplifting, but also overstimulating if you’re already stressed.

❤️ Red — Activation & Strength
Red grabs the body’s attention. It energises, but can also heighten emotions. It’s useful when you need courage, less useful when you’re trying to settle your nervous system.

🩷 Pink — Compassion & Softening
Pink is associated with gentleness and self-kindness. Many people find it soothing when they’re struggling with self-criticism or emotional vulnerability.

🤍 White — Clarity & Space
White represents new beginnings, simplicity, and emotional room to breathe. It can feel peaceful… or empty, depending on what you’re experiencing internally.

🖤 Black — Depth & Containment
Black often feels grounding. It creates a sense of boundaries and protection, it’s helpful when life feels chaotic or emotionally exposed.

Try This Mini Exercise

Look around the room you’re in.
Which colour are you most drawn to today?

Ask yourself:
• What emotion do I need more of right now?
• Is it calm, energy, safety, clarity, or softness?

Let colour guide you. It’s a subtle and powerful form of self-regulation.

14/11/2025

Love this affirmation from last night’s Echo of Her – Women’s Circle
A gentle reminder that our worth is never something we must chase, prove, or earn.
It rises from within us, steady, ancient, unshakeable.
When we remember who we are, we return to a truth our hearts have always known:
You are worthy simply because you exist.

13/11/2025

✨ Remaining Calm When There’s Mayhem Around You ✨

💫 When life feels chaotic, our minds often mirror the noise around us, thoughts race, emotions surge, and it can feel like we’re losing our centre.
But calm isn’t about shutting the world out. It’s about staying connected to yourself within it.

In moments of mayhem, try this gentle approach:

💫 Pause before you absorb. Notice what’s happening inside you before you react to what’s happening around you. A slow, steady breath can remind your body that you are safe, even if everything feels uncertain.

💫 Anchor in the present. Feel your feet on the floor, notice the air around you, bring your attention back to this moment. When we ground ourselves, the noise loses some of its power.

💫 Remember what you can and cannot control. You don’t have to hold it all. It’s okay to step back, to choose peace over participation in the chaos.

💫 Let calm be your response, not your retreat. Staying calm doesn’t mean you’re detached, it means you’re self-aware and steady, even when the world wobbles.

Sometimes, the most healing thing we can do is breathe deeply, stay present, and remind ourselves: I can be calm here, even now.

🕊️ Reflection:
Take a few minutes to ask yourself:
What helps me feel anchored when life feels chaotic?
Where in my life could I practise choosing calm rather than reacting to chaos?

Your calm is not weakness. It’s wisdom. 💫

11/11/2025

Sometimes we get stuck replaying the past like it’s the only story we have. But life keeps happening in the direction we’re facing, not the direction we’ve been. You don’t owe your past any more explanations. You don’t have to keep reopening old chapters to make sense of who you are now. Look forward. New doors don’t open behind you. 💫

07/11/2025

Taking time to rest, breathe, and listen to your needs keeps you grounded, resilient, and connected to yourself. When you care for you, everything else becomes lighter, clearer, and easier to carry. 💛