22/10/2024
This year, I have won an award. I have been sitting on it for about 3 months now. As I have sat with it, I have reflected and considered why I feel conflicted about it and why I was reluctant to share it. I have come up with two main reasons:
1. It is absolutely true that I am well trained through an excellent governing body and by an incredible teacher and that I also continue to learn and to grow and to reflect upon my practice. I also care deeply, which I believe to be important. However, there is a yoga teacher, style and practice for everyone. We all bring something different and we are all special and valuable in our own way. I have the pleasure of knowing some absolutely brilliant teachers, many of whom I am proud to call friends. They are wonderful and their classes inspire me. So my thoughts on this are...try out a few classes. Come along...if I'm not right for you, I am certain that we can find someone close by who is a better fit. Yoga is for every single person and you absolutely can find a class that will be right for you in the moment.
2. Telling a perfectionist that they are 'the best' is often very unhelpful. Those of us who strive and push and struggle, often face a sense of 'not enough'. Perfectionism is tied up in shame; we are trying too hard. Through yoga, I have worked on this over the past few years. I am not 'the best'. What I am is someone who gives their best, always. I am working on awareness of what I have to give moment by moment and being ok when it isn't enough and it is a very hard lesson, albeit it extremely important.
I hope that these words were helpful for someone reading them. My truth is very important to me and I always try to voice it, even when it is uncomfortable. For those of you within my yoga community, goodness me I'm grateful to you. I am so privileged to share the joy of yoga with you and feel thankful for it every single day.
Tonight during class, we sit in gratitude. Not for all the wonder and joy and sparkly things. Just for the simple stuff. For who we are. For what we have to give. For the messy and hard parts as much as the good bits. They are the real lessons, after all.
Love Em xx